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darya

@foladarya

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Multidimensional being, like water💧✨
Healing+ Creation + Ab*se Education
Working w/ survivors @survivors.alchemy 🌊🐚
A bugaboo-free zone✋🏿🛝

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Writing this felt very much like taking a quiz in Seventeen Magazine (shout out to my millennial baddies)—and my inner teen and adult self are thankful. Otherwise, it would’ve been a lot heavier to work on.

Regardless, one thing about me is if I go through something gnarly, I’ma definitely sit with my pain and find the medicine.

While going through these questions I’d recommend eating something nourishing—either a sweet treat or a snack full of vitamins. And definitely drink some water.

All of these dynamics—dominance, extraction, control, moral superiority, punishment, ableism, and conditional care—are intersecting expressions of patterns shaped by centuries of conditioning which none of us are exempt from. As we get more familiar and comfortable with addressing the many nuances of how these patterns show up, we’ll collectively be better for it🌈Happy Pride, y’all.

[image description in the comments] by @foladarya

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a year ago

“Surviving Is Only Part of It, Remember to Thrive” 2025, Animated Sculpture Spirit

[video description in the comments] by @foladarya

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a year ago

And not in a headass “infinite growth” type of way. In a trans is divine, Octavia Butler, God is change type of way.

[image description: selfies of darya, a darker skinned Black trans-nonbinary person, rocking various hairstyles, outfits, emotions, and gender expressions. They showcase just a few of their infinite iterations alongside thoughts on it all] by @foladarya

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a year ago

I’ve been witnessing a lot of folks on this app talk about ab*se without giving a clear definition for it.

It’s starting to feel like we’re participating in conversations with vastly different understandings of something that impacts us all, and to me, that doesn’t feel like the most productive use of our time or tools.

So, as a high school teacher of mine loved to say, define your terms! Here’s my definition. I’m curious about yours.

Shared understanding of language helps better our ability to think critically and better move towards what can be mutually generative ways of making meaning.

[video description in the comments] by @foladarya

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6 months ago

Remember your breath. Remember to breathe. From your belly is best. Welcome, Lunar New Year.

[video description: water in various states of motion, eventually resting in a blue garden bucket. Segments occur in increments of 4 seconds to align with the box breathing technique] by @foladarya

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7 months ago

I am forever grateful for all the people who supported me as I exited ab*sive living and work situations. I’m also thankful for the mistakes folks made, the mistakes I made, and my experiences with the people who failed me. All of it helps me sharpen my discernment and ability to support others. As always, take your time with this. Share it where it will be useful 🌱

[Image description in comments]

#AbuseEducation by @foladarya

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8 months ago

Remember your breath. Remember to breathe. From your belly is best. Happy New Year.

[video description: water in various states of motion accompanied by the clarity of mint leaves and cued increments of 4 seconds for breath] by @foladarya

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9 months ago

Publicly talking about some of the ab*se I’ve endured is one of the hardest, bravest things I’ve ever done—and I’ve done a lot of hard, brave things. What makes this type of truth telling different is that it first and foremost was about me. What a scary and potentially empowering place to be.

I’ve since learned what I always knew—that this medicine of truth telling is a potent and necessary gift. A gift that has taken a lot of tact, compassion, patience, and awareness to apply and receive. A gift that is not afforded to everyone—especially on a public scale.

I’ve found sooo much gratitude in knowing others have found the courage to apply a similar medicine to themselves—even if the only person they name the truth of their experience to is themselves. One or two more folks being honest with themselves in this world makes a difference.

Sending so much love to all my folks doing—or who have done— the difficult thing of naming what never should’ve happened to you. May y’all stay protected in your truth-telling. You belong to a fierce lineage of folks who dared to do the same.

[Video description: a darker skinned Black person with long wavy red and black box braids wears a black transparent top. They sit and talk about the difficult and necessary process of publicly naming ab*se as a survivor]

#DomesticAbuseAwareness #NarcissisticAbuseSurvivor #CovertAbuse #CovertNarcissism #SurvivorStories by @foladarya

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9 months ago

What role does play have in your days when your days feel heavy?

[video description: a Black deity comprised of red tones is adorned in a cowrie shell necklace and long box braids. They play with the sun as it engages her in movement] by @foladarya

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a year ago

This was truly a labor of love—and it’s dense, so be gentle with yourselves and others when sharing. May it provide clarity, understanding, and shifts to those who need it.

***Also y’all, I realize it should be “exes” and not “ex’s” 🥲 can’t with ‘em all—but I will work on getting this in a more legible and accessible format since the text tends to read small.

[Image Description: Text reading “So, WTF is Narcissism, Really?” Below it is additional descriptive text and a black person’s finger popping a bubble. Subsequent slides describe the history of narcissism, terms, ideas, and experiences associated with it]

#Narcissism #Education #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseSurvivor #Healing by @foladarya

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a year ago

[Video description: a playful collage text video contemplation from darya’s drafts on the process of healing. Featured text reads: “What does healing FEEL like? Idk. Ask Me Tomorrow.”] by @foladarya

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a year ago