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Dr Emily Mills

@frequencytherapist

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Clinical Psychologist
For women who feel stuck in healing
Perimenopause • ADHD • Trauma • IFS • Somatic • Breathwork

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I’ve been meaning to write this for a while.

If you’ve found me through psychology content, breathwork, or the retreat — this post is for you. It explains who I am, how I work, the two hats I wear, and what that means for you.

Read the slides. They matter.

#psychologist #breathwork #traumahealing #perimenopause #ADHD by @frequencytherapist

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2 months ago

This one felt a bit vulnerable to share.

Because this isn’t the polished version of me.
This is the real one.

The one who was good at talking about healing…
but still repeating the same patterns.

The one who had to stop performing it and actually do the work.

And that changed everything.

This page isn’t about having it all together.
It’s about being honest about what it actually takes to heal.

If you saw yourself in this…

you’re not broken.

I’m right here with you 🩷

If this landed… I’d genuinely love to hear what part hit you.

🩷 Dr Em

#cptsdrecovery #adhd #psychologistsofinstagram #psychology #ifs by @frequencytherapist

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5 months ago

There is a reason high-achieving women fall apart in their 40s. Nobody talks about all of it at once.

Perimenopause begins an average of 7 years before the last period. During that time oestrogen fluctuates — and with it goes mood regulation, sleep, anxiety levels, and for many women, a clear sense of who they are. Most women are not told this is happening.

At around the same time, ADHD often unmasks. The structures that held everything in place for decades start to crack. The coping strategies that worked for 30 years stop working and nobody can explain why.

And underneath all of it: a nervous system that has been in fawn mode since childhood, finally running out of capacity. The over-functioning. The needs managed out of existence so everyone else could be okay.

These are not three separate problems.

For many high-achieving women they arrive in the same body, in the same year. The crash is not a failure. It is the logical conclusion of too much held for too long.

Save this. Tell me: which one are you living right now?

#perimenopause #adhdinwomen #burnout #clinicalpsychologist #womenover40 by @frequencytherapist

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2 hours ago

For the woman who has spent her whole life making herself available to everyone else.

Who, when she thinks about 20 minutes just for her, already has five reasons why she can’t. Who has
dreamed in the margins, if there were any margins. Who has never quite allowed herself to want
something that is just for her.

I recorded a guided meditation. Twenty minutes. Specifically for perimenopause anxiety. It starts with
Andean grounding — held between the earth below and the cosmos above. It moves through the nervous system, through what is actually happening in your body and why the anxiety arrived. It works with the part of you that has been carrying it, asking her what she’s been protecting, inviting her to rest. And it closes by asking what you would like to call in. Not for anyone else. Just for you.
I made it because nobody else was making this. Not with a clinical psychology lens and a spiritual one and the same breath.

It is free. It is yours. Sign up via link in bio and I will send it to you.

Tell me: when did you last do something that was just for you?

#perimenopause #perimenopauseanxiety #guidedmeditation #clinicalpsychologist #womenswellness by @frequencytherapist

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15 hours ago

The wonderful Dr Emily Mills was on our Peri panel of experts at our recent Perimenopause event.

Didn’t catch it ? Head to the link in my bio to grab the full 90 minute recorded live event for just $19 by @frequencytherapist

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a day ago

Up to 51% of women experience significant anxiety during perimenopause. Most are never told it is
hormonal.

Oestrogen doesn’t just regulate your cycle. It regulates your nervous system. When it fluctuates in
perimenopause, your brain loses some of its most important calming signals. The anxiety that appears
without warning is not random. It is biological.

You were told it was stress. You were told to manage it better. Nobody told you your hormones were
destabilising the very system responsible for keeping you calm.

Tomorrow I am releasing something free — a guided meditation made specifically for perimenopause
anxiety. Follow to be first for the drop!

#perimenopause #perimenopauseanxiety #womenover40 #clinicalpsychologist #perimenopausementalhealth by @frequencytherapist

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2 days ago

I have aphantasia. I cannot picture things. No mental images, no vision board in my mind, no visualisation of the future self everyone tells me to see.

For a long time I thought that meant the manifestation conversation was not mine to have.

What I have come back to is ayni — a principle from Andean cosmovision, the spiritual tradition I carry. It translates roughly as reciprocity. You give, the world returns. Not through picturing. Through aligning. Through showing up, in action, in intention, in right relationship with what you love.

What aligning looks like for me: noticing what lights me up and what quietly drains me. Moving toward the first. Being honest about the second. Letting the body lead because it knows before the mind does.

I am learning slowly, imperfectly that my energy is not something to give away to keep the peace. That the good girl I became, the one who fawned and agreed and made herself small, was doing her best. And she is tired now. When I stopped pouring myself out to prove I was worth keeping, things in my world started to shift.

That is what manifesting looks like for me. Not a picture. A practice.

It is alright to say no. It is more than alright. It is the beginning.

Tell me: does the manifestation conversation ever make you feel like you’re doing it wrong?

#manifestation #aphantasia #andeancosmovision #clinicalpsychologist #womenswellness by @frequencytherapist

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4 days ago

Things psychologists actually think but don’t always say out loud.

I’m saying them.

Follow for more real truths!

Save this. And tell me which one people are going to come for me about.

#clinicalpsychologist #therapythoughts #mentalhealth #womenswellness unpopularopinion by @frequencytherapist

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4 days ago

Your doctor can dismiss how you feel. They cannot dismiss 30 days of data.

A woman describing her symptoms in a five-minute appointment is easy to dismiss. A woman walking
in with 30 days of tracked patterns, mapped to her cycle, is presenting evidence. And evidence is very hard to dismiss.

Most women describe perimenopause as random and unpredictable. Once they start tracking, the pattern almost always emerges. The anxiety that clusters in the same phase. The sleep that deteriorates before the mood shift. The rage that has a window, not just a trigger.

Symptoms that feel chaotic are usually cyclical. The problem is you cannot see the cycle when you
are inside it.

Free 30-day perimenopause tracker. Link in bio.

#perimenopause #perimenopausetracker #womenshealth #clinicalpsychologist #perimenopausesymptoms by @frequencytherapist

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5 days ago

Burnout in women who people-please doesn’t look like collapse. It looks like finally snapping at someone who didn’t deserve it.

The fawn response is one of four trauma responses — alongside fight, flight and freeze. It was named by psychologist Pete Walker and it describes what happens when a person learns, usually in childhood, that the safest way to manage threat is to become agreeable. To appease. To make themselves useful, pleasant, small. To put the needs of others so consistently ahead of their own that it becomes automatic.

For many women it isn’t a choice. It’s a nervous system adaptation that made sense at the time. If conflict was dangerous, if needs were punished, if love felt conditional — fawning kept you safe.

The problem is the nervous system doesn’t distinguish between then and now. It keeps running the same pattern in adult relationships, adult workplaces, adult friendships. Long after the original threat is gone.

And the body keeps the account.

The rage, the shutdown, the tears from nowhere — that is not a personality flaw. That is a debt the body has been carrying for a very long time, finally calling itself in.

Tell me: what does your burnout actually look like? Not the version you’d tell your GP. The real one.

#burnout #adhd #traumahealing #clinicalpsychologist #adhdwomen by @frequencytherapist

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6 days ago

It’s live!!

If you missed the Perimenopause event a few months back. It’s now available to be purchased online for $19. Head to the link in bio for all the info ✌🏽 by @frequencytherapist

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6 days ago

ADHD women don’t just think faster. They feel faster. And harder. And longer.

The emotional intensity of ADHD is one of the most under-discussed parts of the diagnosis. It’s not drama. It’s neurology. And it’s one of the reasons ADHD in women gets missed for so long the emotional presentation gets flagged as a mood disorder, anxiety, or borderline personality disorder instead.

If you’ve spent your life being told you’re too sensitive, this might be why.

Save this. Did you know emotional intensity was part of ADHD?

#adhdinwomen #adhd #emotionalintensity #clinicalpsychologist #neurodivergent by @frequencytherapist

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8 days ago