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gator36

@g36b

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A land of gaming pictures, mostly foul humored, some repair pictures. Some other crap I find funny thrown in as well. Follow and TASTE THE MAGIC.

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I guess you could say I keep talismans. This is a dead man's multitool. An E-6, a tanker who died of bone cancer (likely from depleted uranium in 1991.) We walked parallel paths but never truly crossed until I settled his, and his son's, final effects. His son was one of my best friends. His father's death was too much for him; hopefully they've mended their fences. My mother died on the 3rd. Someone I used to know was born today and that someone was a living breathing talisman of the profession I chose. But that someone is gone now, gone for a long time, and with it I surrendered my dreams. July 4th has a lot of bittersweet significance to me.
I don't like fireworks. I especially hate mortars. You don't know true fear until it feels like the sky could crush you at any moment, or when pure luck causes the 120mm they landed at your feet didn't detonate. I sometimes wonder why, in all the brushes with death I've had, he's seen fit to pass me by. He made sure, however, to take people around me.
My conscience tells me to grieve, that it's okay to mourn what I've lost. But that mourning is like a storage shed of half forgotten things, packed tightly and to the ceiling. It's overwhelming. Some things are painful and some things are (unwarranted but still feel) shameful. It's easier to close the door.
I'd like to say I will succeed. But at what point does it become useless to try?
This life, and by consequence my soul, feel as if they are disjointed, off the track but still going in that direction. Like I phased into a similar reality that is widely the same. However, colors aren't as bright. The Sun, while bright in the sky, does not shine as potently. I feel the crawling darkness of space above me, like darkness outside of a lamp beam in a dark room. Emotions are muted, or not even there. I fake more emotion than I'll ever admit. At least my heart knows it's not because of evil inside, or disinterest. It feels like an arm I fell asleep on. My soul is numb, but sometimes the pinched nerve lets up just a little bit and I feel the ache come through. Today is one of those days. by @g36b

It's getting uglier #bc250 #bc-250 by @g36b

That was quick and damn it runs kinda nice #amd #bc250 by @g36b

The point is that right now it works. #Bazzite supposedly works well, but we're gonna try #Garuda first #amd #bc250 #steammachine
Yes it's a naked server blade sitting on an ammo pouch with a portable fan for aid, look, sausage is ugly by @g36b

Merry Christmas and/or Holidays and/or Festivus and/or Yuletide and/or Hannukah and/or etc. etc. by @g36b

How many DUIs #dodge #dodgeram by @g36b

Back on my 🐂 💩 #etrianodyssey by @g36b

by @g36b

It healed like medicare heart surgery in the end by @g36b

Ok thanks #linux #packagemanager by @g36b

Oshaune. Oshit. Time to lock in and flex the TURBODINOSAURPOWER #helldivers2 #infometal by @g36b

He showed up in my carport day before yesterday, lethargic, coughing, not normal. He stood off to me which isn't normal. I collected him up in a box with peanuts, water, and a hot blanket. I was going to take him to the vet the next day. At least he died safe, warm, and with dignity. Sorry I couldn't do more. I'm glad you trusted me and you liked the peanuts I give you and your family. by @g36b