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akankshya abismruta

@geekyliterati

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writer, reader, system-skeptic etc 🐦‍🔥
lives by, writing is torture, having written is relief; cannot skip the process, don't talk gen AI with me

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I hadn't been as nervous about sharing my writing in a long time as I was today. It felt like putting my vulnerable self out there with the harshest of comments running in my head. But the response from a few friends and acquaintances has been overwhelming, and here I am.

It took quite a bit of patience to write this piece, a beginning to writing about living with illnesses (I hope). Every time @chintanwriting encouraged me to write about it, I told him I was too angry and lost to do so. He kept reminding me every now and then, to write whenever I am ready.

It also came from noticing a gap. I was tired of reading about the debilitating impact of Endometriosis but there was not enough conversation about intimate relationships. Also, when all the girlies in a chronic illness support group expressed that men cannot match our libido, I saw it as a silence at the intersection of women, sexual expression, and chronic illness.

Then there's @aroomofwords who said literally nothing after reading an edited draft of my initial rant. Nothing beyond, You should send it to the editor.

Finally, my editor @utterflea who accepted this personal essay and made it what you read now—I am so grateful, my heart is full 🥹💝

I hope a chronically ill woman or someone with endometriosis feels seen, and others get to know something about living with this awful disease. I hope there's more to follow but then it took me 5 years to write one piece, so🤞🏾

(link in bio for the Hindustan Times page)

#endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness #love #relationships by @geekyliterati

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18

2 months ago

On writing a personal essay and letting it out in the world:

Two weekends have passed.

Life's the same.

I am different.

I know now that there's an audience that would read about how a life is affected by illness. It would empathise, it would be moved, it might even cry. It might ignore. But there's an audience.

I can no longer hide behind my own dismissal. I cannot tell myself, I am not important, no one wants to read me. I cannot close a word document without saving a rant.

Yep, it began as a rant.

A rant that my editor was kind enough to read. I procrastinated rewriting till she asked me about it. When she sent the edited draft, I was on call with @dr.shruti_riedu_ @jd1685 and I was telling them how scared I am for anyone to read it. I was praying equally for it to be published, and for me to disappear when it does. They encouraged me. They said they want to read it. Well, love, isn't it? For women to validate you talking about love and relationships from the pov of sexual pleasure. Love, definitely.

I waited for the backlash, especially from the endometriosis community. But my DMs on Insta, LinkedIn and WhatsApp simply said that people were moved, some almost cried. Some called me brave, and this time I did feel brave. To have put myself out there. Exposed every little moment of shame. Left myself to be attacked, abused, manipulated—if someone wanted to do so. But people, the kindest people, were grateful to find themselves in my experiences. Made some new connections, deepened old ones over shared experiences—with and without endometriosis.

An illness that once felt like it had robbed everything from me, kind of became the subject that gave me my voice back. I used to write personal essays all the time on my blog.Then I stopped. Became small. In the absence of readers who came to me for inspiration only.

So, I won't tell you I write for myself. That's my diary. This one, I wrote, because the subject lived with me like an itch that won't go away. It suffocated me, it isolated me.

I wrote because I wanted to believe in my experiences. They are real and important, however marginalised.

For once, I can say now, I was brave. by @geekyliterati

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a month ago

This manuscript came to me out of nowhere. I remember @iamantarik tweeted about writing a book. I quoted it saying I'd like to get it to publishers. The role that I was perhaps imagining was that of an agent, to advocate for a manuscript you believe in. The role I ended up having was that of an editor, rather hesitantly after beta-reading.

My experience in editing till then was limited to digital platforms. I hadn't taken up a manuscript longer than 1000-1500 words. I was advised by my editor-friend then that it's my job to suggest, it's upto the author to accept or reject them. There was some relief. He would be making the final calls.

I wasn't sure how he would respond to my suggestions to rewriting some parts, sometimes extending a chapter to dive deeper into his experiences, other times to cut a rather aesthetically long sentence (as long as a paragraph) into smaller non-aesthetic sentences. What's the point of such a good sentence if the readers forget how it began by the time they reach the end? This was personal because I was advised many years ago by this author to write smaller sentences on my blog. How the roles reversed!

A few months of editing later, he finally published the book earlier this year. It was an enlightening experience to work with such a disciplined and commited writer. He pestered me about deadlines, not the other way around. Rewrote parts as many times as needed. He took care of the designs, social media marketing and book launches which quite literally left me in awe. The overall experience definitely has spoiled me for collabs.

When we began working on this project, he told me one thing, 'I want this book to remain a light-read.' I rolled my eyes and complied.

Now this book is available in paperback, hardback and on kindle across the globe. Pick this up for some heartwarming stories on leadership, family, travelling solo as an introvert, challenging oneself to climb to the Everest Base Camp to complete the book.

Such ambition, commitment much.

Happy reading!

#baateinbeyondborders #antarikanwesan
#travelogue #booksofinstagram
#traveldiaries #travelbook #indianwriters #debutwriter #indianauthors #bookstagram #booksbooksbooks by @geekyliterati

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2 years ago

Last December when @thereadyreaders members were discussing reading the Wolf Hall trilogy by Hilary Mantel as the books of the year, I was against it. I kept saying these are difficult books to read. And then, I measured my position as someone who hasn't read a book with the club since she started working with books professionally against the ones who are enthusiastic about it, and I kept my opinion aside.

Lo and behold, some members have already completed the trilogy and a few are starting now. In the last meet, I was convinced to read along, and what a joy it's been. More so because I read it only during silent reading sessions at night that a few of us join, the ones who have become core members over the 6 years. The company helps as everyone goes back a few pages when they start reading this one every day.

I had heard from the ones who read it complain about the many Thomases but I was rather surprised to be reminded of English lit history and look at those Thomases away from their literary works, and into their political roles during the reign of Henry VIII.

I usually don't make commitments I cannot keep but now that this has begun, I'll hopefully see it to the end. Amidst five other things that I am reading for 😬🥲

Q: Have you read the trilogy? Thoughts?

#wolfhalltrilogy #hilarymantel #bookstagram #cromwell #englishhistory by @geekyliterati

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14 days ago

Mission (un) successful?

Idk how I don't have a good photo of momo because I recently sent a reel to my mother that said I'll likely marry momo. Believe it or not, once upon a time I moved to Delhi for momo. I used to love the soya momo in Satya Niketan. I hated that Hyderabad didn't have momo outlets when I moved there, so I began making it from scratch. Recently stopped making them because apparently eating soya is harmful to my very endo/adeno-afflicted body.

The idea was to be more than my illness. Gave it a fair chance but okay. My people know me better and this post is just for the fear in my head.

Might, might archive.

And, and Grey's Anatomy held me in my darkest times.

I tend to forget about my interests, more often than not. Sad, sad. by @geekyliterati

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23 days ago

Just thinking about that day in July in Delhi when I was dragged out of the house in heavy rains and people cancelled plans when my brother and I were already in a cab. We stopped near the mall. I further dragged myself slowly—labour breathing—because I couldn't walk.

I got myself through lunch, and then ended up in a bookshop, and I stayed there for hours. Half the time sitting on the floor. The pain and fatigue, tolerable. And as I bought copies of Audre Lorde and Natasha Walter, I realised, I was looking for books that could help me navigate my life which seems far away from convention. I was looking for support. I was looking for people who might have walked this path.

Next day, I went again to another bookshop. Bought Anne Enright and Rebecca Solnit as I stacked Ismail Kadare in my head for another time. Yet again looking for books that expand my vision of life and the world when my physical existence seemed too much to bear. To feel tiny and significant. At once.

Just thinking about that time during the lockdown, when my brother asked, "Who do you talk to when you are sad?"

I said, "No one. I find a book."

Cute, I'd say, how much I rely on books to keep my sadness company

Just thinking. Just saying.

Always... just reading.

🩵

#reading #booksbooksbooks
#bookshop #bookstagram
#readersofinstagram by @geekyliterati

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6

a month ago

Just another day of not letting endo-adeno define my life but also acknowledging that they do restrict my life, and that because I keep pushing them restrictions, I end up in bed for days together.

Had a fantastic literary weekend that was followed by a crude reality check with healthcare, and now I am home, starting new medications, and hoping I get better quality of life to talk and further discuss endometriosis so that people fear it as much as they fear cancer.

Don't you dare say but it doesn't kill you like cancer. Well it kills my will to live and that's more than what cancer ever did to my soul.

Await more pieces on endometriosis-adenomyosis in the coming months because I simply cannot seem to shut up and I am (somewhat) done questioning my reality which seems more like a speculative fiction on a speculative disease than life itself.

This is just a way of working through overwhelm as I write another piece on endo. Please feel free to validate/encourage me.

Note: The first photo is from the way to the said literary weekend (follow up photos) because gawd I was highkey thinking that maybe I should skip it but didn't because it's THE ONLY TIME of the year when I am amidst my kind of people.

It's all about the light and shadow. Always.

💜💜💜 by @geekyliterati

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a month ago

Akankshya Abismruta (@geekyliterati ) on our literary adventures at the third edition of the @travel_writing_festival_india (2025) in the @hindustantimes ✨

The third edition of the Travel Writing Festival created a moving oasis where readers and authors interacted freely. In the end, it was clear that everyone wanted a reading revolution, and that they were all keen to play a role in making it happen.

[India's First Traveling Literature Festival, Travel Writing Festival, 3rd Edition, Travel, Literature, Culture, Odisha, India, Independent Literature Festival, Independent Bookstore] by @geekyliterati

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a month ago

When I cannot believe that some of my best reads have been non-fiction and I am growing more reliant on them to find a support system to exist in this world that seems to be against me. None of these are self-help. Just brave, beautiful voices.

This is not an exhaustive list because if you have been here long enough, you know I recommend Abhishek Anicca (The Grammar of My Body), Manish Gaekwad (The Last Courtesan and Nautch Boy), and Manjiri Indurkar (It's All in Your Head, M) heavily along with these.

I tend to read quite a few memoirs, but not every voice makes me pause to check if I am reading a nonfiction for real. These do. And when it comes to trade books, the joy of looking at the subject matter through the author's lens/love is just 🤌🏾

If you think non-fiction is not for you, might I recommend these? ☺️

Which non-fiction changed your mind about the genre?

#nonfiction #narrativenonfiction #tradebooks #cnf #memoirs

Iru, Irawati Karwe, Urmila Deshpande, Thiago Pinto Barbosa, I am What I Am, Sunitha Krishnan, Everyday Reading, Aakriti Mandhwani, The Undocumented, Nidhi Dugar Kundalia, Things in Nature Merely Grow, Yiyun Li, The Sunday BookBazaar, Kanupriya Dhingra, The Feminisms Of Our Mothers, Daanika Kamal, The Last Bench, Adhir Biswas, The Evin Prison Bakers' Club, Sepidah, Gholian, Translations, Creative nonfiction, Bookstagram, Nonfiction reads, Booktok, Memoirs, Biography, Dalit Literature, Anthropology, Literature, Books, Magazines, Sunderbans, Climate crisis, Daryaganj, Migration, Feminism, Pakistani voices, Iranian voices, mental health, chronic illness, disability by @geekyliterati

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2 months ago

From doing touch-ups to join the virtual bi-monthly meets to joining silent reading sessions from bed, made some amazing besties in the book club in these 6 years and I am so grateful for their company 💙💝🫂

To think, it all began with me not calling them friends in one of my tweets ages ago 🫣😂

#bookclubs #besties #silentreading #friendships
#readersgonnaread by @geekyliterati

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2 months ago

Saw a reel that said normalise celebrating diagnosis anniversary, so... here's to 5 freaking years of Endometriosis this week, it continues to surprise me every single day!

Cancer's 18, Myopia is 17, Diabetes 11, Anxiety Disorder 8, and adenomyosis, the baby of them all, is 1. Acute, chronic, got them all!

Gonna flex it because I am still a person full of joy and never have had to fake a different life on social media 💁🏾‍♀️😎🖤

Like I tell my friends, I cannot wait for the light at the end of the tunnel, I am the goddamn fire lighting the tunnel ✊🏾🔥💫 by @geekyliterati

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2 months ago

Guilty. Attention span is fried 🥴

But I might be chronically offline now that fraand is here. Who knows. Some people have created some rather entertaining content in response to fraand.

These creators 🥲😂✊🏾

#bookstagram #bookreviewer #writerlife #jantarmantarprotest #frands

bookish life, reader life, deadlines, writing life, creator, book creator, books, reviewing, cjp protest, genz protest, india, protestors, chronically online, books for life, writing, reviewing, fyp, education minister, genz, youth, youngsters, education system, PMI, youth movement by @geekyliterati

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2 months ago