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Morgan Burch

@goodmorgantherapy

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Relationship Coach, MSW | SEEN Method® creator
Authentic connection is all that matters.
Most of us never experience it.
❤️‍🔥Let's change that👇

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COMMENT or MEESSAGE “SEEN” to watch my FREE Relationship Masterclass!!

If you are dealing with somebody who is stuck in victim mentality, the greatest gift you can give them is being their villain, and they will force you to give them that gift no matter what you do.

Because victim mindset people, people who are addicted to being the victim, who are always the victim in every story that they tell, they only pull in two types of people into their life: villains and heroes.

And they turn the heroes into villains as soon as they need to be the victim in the story again.

So no matter how hard you have been trying at being thoughtful and kind and explaining where you’re coming from and how it wasn’t your intention and you were being a good person, it does not matter. If they want to see you as a villain, they will see you as a villain.

And the question is not, “How do I get them to see that I’m not trying to hurt them and that I’m not the bad guy?”

The question is, “how do I tolerate when they don’t like that I’m doing the right thing, even though it’s not what they want me to do?”

If you want to learn more about this, if you’re trying to figure out if that’s the kind of relationship dynamic you’re in, or if you actually need to work on more tools and be a little kinder, please come to my free relationship masterclass. by @goodmorgantherapy

COMMENT or MEESSAGE “SEEN” to watch my FREE Relationship Masterclass!!

Option 1: That didn’t feel good. What was your intention?
— Heard @rainnwilson say this
Option 2: I’m feeling defensive. Can you share that another way?
— Heard @gottmaninstitute say this
Option 3: When you said that, I thought you meant ____. Can you clarify?
— I’ve heard this too many places to attribute it to one person by @goodmorgantherapy

COMMENT or MEESSAGE “SEEN” to watch my FREE Relationship Masterclass!!

Life changing advice for angry lovers.

S (scared) What am I scared of?
E (embarrassed) What am I embarrassed about?
E (expectations) What were my expectations? and were they reasonable? Did I express them?
N (need) What do I need right now? (food, nap, hugs, reassurance, a good laugh, a good cry?)

Shoutout to @_beautybylulu for giving me the perfect car analogy yesterday!😘❤️ by @goodmorgantherapy

COMMENT “TRACK” to get started with the 14-Day Fast Track!!!

Go back to Part 1 to learn how to actually FEEL the feeling!! Follow for more content like this!!

Maybe some of you already expected it… SEEN questions, baby!! by @goodmorgantherapy

In Part 2, I’ll show you the 4 questions to find the deeper truth beneath your FEAR!! Follow to catch Part 2! by @goodmorgantherapy

COMMENT “TRACK” to get started with the 14-Day Fast Track!!!

THIS is the mantra that fixed my people-pleasing. Hear me out!! by @goodmorgantherapy

You see it everywhere once you know to look for it 😵‍💫 break freeee by @goodmorgantherapy

COMMENT “TRACK” to get started with the 14-Day Fast Track!!!

Finding our CHOICE is the first step to heal our TRAUMA!!!

@abistumvoll ❤️ by @goodmorgantherapy

We’re allowed to have that feeling 😌 by @goodmorgantherapy

“You’ll be fine!” can be loving…and a little lonely when you still want to explain why you’re worried.

Sometimes we rush to reassure, offer advice, or explain our perspective before we understand what our spouse is sharing.

These seven small practices give you somewhere else to go.

Try one. Ask the follow-up question. Let them correct your interpretation. Remember to check in later. ❤️

You can understand your spouse’s experience while still having your own perspective.

My friend, @goodmorgantherapy joins me on Secrets of Happily Ever After this week to talk about her SEEN method and helping each other feel understood.

Comment PODCAST and I’ll send you the link. by @goodmorgantherapy

This might surprise you coming from a marriage coach…

Sometimes you need to STOP apologizing so quickly. 😳

My friend @goodmorgantherapy explains why so beautifully.

When your spouse is upset, it’s tempting to jump straight to “I’m sorry” because you want things to feel better.

But sometimes what your spouse needs most is to know you actually UNDERSTAND why they’re hurting.

That’s why I love Morgan’s Mirror Game.

Before apologizing, try asking:

“What’s your perspective on what happened?”

Then reflect back what you heard.

“So you’re feeling ______ because ______. Am I understanding you?”

And my FAVORITE:

“What am I missing?”

No defending. No fixing. Just understanding.

And once your spouse feels heard, your apology can actually mean something.

Because as Morgan says:

“Conflict is fighting to be understood. Connection is fighting to understand.”

Save this one. It’s a skill worth practicing. ❤️ by @goodmorgantherapy

You’re NOT a bad person for hurting somebody, unless you do THIS!!! by @goodmorgantherapy