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Grace | Responsive Motherhood

@gracemacll

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real talk for the hard-mode days 🤍
lawyer/yoga teacher → scrunchy mom of 2
pets & babies, cosleeping, screen-free & the stuff no one preps you for ↓

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MY ENTIRE LIFE CHANGED.

I know, I know. Everyone hates hearing “sleep when the baby sleeps”… but it is THE thing that has made every difference for me in my mood, productivity for the rest of the day, overall health, and relationship with my baby.

I started this on my first mat leave when I had a velcro baby who was up every hour at night. When I get up in the morning, I keep things cozy and sleepy for myself. I feed baby, change baby, and let some natural light in but I keep us both in PJs (yes I walk the dog in PJs too) and drink a sleepy time tea with a high protein breakfast. Then somewhere between 8:30-9:30am (wake window dependent) we are back to sleep. We get a good 60-90 minutes in and then really start the day with a nice big coffee and second breakfast (breastfeeding hunger always) and are ready to take on the rest of the day!! It’s a complete game changer.

Save this for nap day 1. I post real-time updates on how it’s going — follow to see where we’re at now.

#motherhoodinprogress #newmom #postpartumjourney #torontomoms #momlife by @gracemacll

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4 months ago

My husband hid the remote from our baby (iykyk) a month ago and we never found it again.

At first, we panicked. We spent the first few days frantically looking for it… and then… we stopped. We didn’t buy a new one, we stored the TV away, and we rearranged our entire living room.

One month later and we wish we had done this sooner (consider me shocked as someone who used to stay up too late every night to binge my latest series obsession).

The question now is, can we keep this up as a family who never actually planned to be entirely screen-free (and who actually used to kind of love screens)?

Follow along to watch our screen-free journey unfold @gracemacll

Comment “screen-free” for our favourite toddler toys that we have used to replace TV time!

#motherhoodinprogress #screenfree #simpleliving #slowliving #digitaldetox by @gracemacll

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3 months ago

no screens. no village. cosleeping. supporting my toddler to sleep instead of leaving her to cry it out. tandem nursing two kids. and in the middle of me talking about how it’s been extra hard these past few weeks, she just looked at me and said “you know you’re parenting on hard mode, right?”

and honestly… yeah, I did. not because I think it’s the only right way — but because it’s the way that feels true to me and my kids right now. I genuinely don’t know how to parent them any other way. But it means I’m rarely, if ever, off duty.

nobody tells you responsive parenting can be both the thing you’re most sure of and the thing that wrecks your body and your sleep at the same time. both things are just true.

if you’re in a hard-mode season of your own right now — whatever that looks like for you — I see you. tell me one thing about your “hard mode”👇

and if you want more honest, no-judgment talk about the hard parts of responsive parenting (not just the highlight reel) — follow along, I’m here for it too.

#motherhoodinprogress #motherhoodunfiltered #responsiveparenting #cosleeping #attachmentparenting by @gracemacll

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a month ago

Two years ago today, I dropped my baby at daycare for the first time. She was 12 months old. I cried every single day for weeks. So did she.

She had only ever nursed to sleep, lived in her baby carrier, cosleept, and contact napped. My version of motherhood looked nothing like what all the career-focused moms I was surrounded by talked about. They were all looking forward to sending their babies to daycare and assumed I would too since I had always loved my job.

But that’s not how I felt. I still cared about my work, but sending my baby away felt literally painful. And daycares here have huge waitlists, so you don’t get to choose. You take the spot that opens up. We were lucky to have an incredible caregiver who treated her like her own granddaughter, and that made it survivable. But it was still hard, and it was the only option we had financially and practically. This baby was a surprise (I’d been told I might not be able to have kids), we were still early in our careers, fresh off a big wedding, and carrying student debt.
When she moved to the toddler room, the environment got more chaotic, and it didn’t match our home or her temperament. So we started calling, emailing, and basically begging the Waldorf daycare we’d always dreamed of. And they found us a spot.

The difference has been huge. She’s calmer, happier, more regulated, and has best friends. She runs in, and now she doesn’t want to leave at pickup. She’s in a small preschool class of 7 that feels like a homeschooling environment and she is thriving.

With baby #2, we got to be more intentional. I took a job that supports an 18 month leave so she can start when she’s a bit older. (And yes, I’m sending good vibes into the universe that she gets to join her big sister.)

So if your daycare journey is rough, or looks nothing like what you hoped, you’re not failing. It’s also never too late to pivot. Give yourself some grace. 🤍

Tell me in the comments: what did your daycare journey actually look like? I read every one.

And follow @gracemacll for more real motherhood chats. by @gracemacll

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7 days ago

If you know me IRL, you know that wherever I go my baby is probably coming with me.
With my first, I didn’t really feel like it was even a choice. She wanted to be with her mom all day and all night. Babywearing became the solution when babysitting didn’t feel like an option.
Now with my second, I’m not even thinking about forcing independence. Because I know now that the closer I hold my babies when they are babies, the more comfortable and secure they will be in their independence as they get older. My incredibly independent toddler is now the proof of that.
So yes, I will fly across the country solo with my baby to come to the wedding. And I will be hitting the dance floor with her sleeping on me. Because this is also who I am, I’m not just a mom. I’m someone who likes to dance, be with friends, travel.

And pretty soon the space for those parts of myself will start to rapidly expand. The baby season is fleeting and I want to soak it up while I can.

So if you’re a babywearing mama who refuses to sit this one out, you’re in the right place 🤍

#babywearing #babycarrier #babywearingmama #responsiveparenting #unfilteredmotherhood by @gracemacll

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15 days ago

2 under 2 was hard… but not for the reason I thought. I was focused on the practical challenges: two kids in diapers, two kids making messes, 2 kids to load into car seats and snowsuits.

But the part that was actually so hard in the beginning, was me still trying to parent like I only had one child. Trying to give 100% of myself to two kids. Worrying that prioritizing one child’s needs over the others would be damaging to them, and never giving myself permission to ever take a break, or be anything less than perfect for both of them.

But over time things naturally needed to adjust: my toddler would need to be comforted by her dad while I fed the baby, the baby would need to be put down (during peak separation anxiety stage?? How could I!) while I helped my toddler get dressed.

And guess what? They survived! In fact I think it’s helping them learn patience, resilience and the importance of working together as a family unit.

The really good news though is that I’m sitting here today, watching them play together as we are home for a sick day and really realizing how much easier things have become. They are growing into little besties who are also incredibly capable of feeling safe and comfortable in their independence. And they don’t need me to be hovering over them and doing everything for them all the time.

What a gift it is to make it through a hard season of parenting. If you are in the thick of it now, I hope you can give yourself grace and know that truly nothing is forever when it comes to kids.

Follow along @gracemacll for more mom real talk for the hard mode days 🤍

xx Grace

#2under2 #honestmotherhood #recoveringperfectionist #mominspiration #unfilteredmotherhood by @gracemacll

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24 days ago

Bedtime and nap time with my second baby has been a rollercoaster ride. Some weeks it came easy, and other weeks we struggled through it and I felt like I was losing my mind. When she fought it, I assumed I was doing something wrong.

We came out of a brutal colicky period where sleep barely existed for either of us. Then just as we caught our breath, she hit a wave of gross motor leaps — rolling, sitting, trying to crawl and now walking (all in a couple months) — and her body just would not settle, even when she was exhausted (classic second child 😅). Now she’s on the edge of dropping to one nap, and she’s fighting bedtime and naps like her whole system doesn’t know what it wants anymore.

For awhile I really held onto the schedule I was told was best for my baby. Like if I just stuck to the plan hard enough, her body would fall in line. But it didn’t, and I realized the cuddly sleeps I used to love were becoming dreaded for me.

So I completely changed my approach (what did I have to lose?)

The second I stopped fighting her and started actually watching her, bedtime stopped being a battle. Not because I fixed anything. Because I finally let her lead. If sleep isn’t happening easily, we take a pause and play a little and then try again in 10 minutes.

If your baby is going through a leap, a regression, a nap transition, or just feels unrecognizable right now — you’re not doing it wrong. Their whole world is shifting. Ours can too.

Follow along as we figure this out one bedtime at a time 🤍 more of this on my page if you’re in it too.

#respectfulparenting #babysleep #attachmentparenting #responsiveparenting #cosleepingmama by @gracemacll

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a month ago

Being a responsive parent means supporting our baby and toddler to sleep in a way that is grounded in comfort and connection. Every single night. And with two different bedtimes right now that looks like starting at 7:30pm and often not being done until 9:30pm.

There were nights when this felt hard and I found myself missing having more time to myself (especially on the nights I would end up asleep in my toddler’s bed at the end of it all). So I decided to shift the experience so that I could use it to fill my cup and recharge.

It started with just an earbud in, listening to an audiobook. And slowly I’ve added in more: bringing a tea in with me, getting into my own PJs, and now we have this amazing galaxy projector gifted by @pococo_store. It completely sets the sleepytime vibes for me and my toddler (and she runs to her bedroom at night now so she can pick out which stars she wants to look at!) ✨

So if you’re surviving bedtime, I see you and I was there. I hope you can find ways to start romanticizing these moments while our little ones still just want us close to fall asleep, because it won’t last forever.

comment “stars” and I’ll send you the link to this galaxy projector (and use code “GRACE321” for 20% off!). Link is also in my bio.

#responsiveparenting #cosleeping #toddlersleep #pococogalaxyprojector #pococo by @gracemacll

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a month ago

I thought I would share about what pushed me to start this account since there are many new faces here 🤍

It has been an incredible honour to share vulnerability with you all and to hear how it made you feel so seen and less alone. I noticed such a shift in my motherhood experience when I started genuinely connecting with other moms and sharing both the good and the hard. In an ever isolated world, I really believe even little moments of connection online can be powerful.

Thank you for being here, I’m so excited to continue these conversations with you all 💗

xx Grace by @gracemacll

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a month ago

for all my high effort moms out there in their postpartum season, this is your reminder to do something today to take care of yourself 🫶🏼

my go to daily self care moment that I can always count on is taking these @birdbeco postpartum vitamins. this is not sponsored, I just love them so much that I wanted to share with you all (and they were kind enough to gift me these, which I am so grateful for).

Comment “self-care” and I’ll send you a discount code for these amazing vitamins that will level up your postpartum healing journey.

🤍 Grace

#mominspiration #postpartumjourney #postpartumhealth #postpartumhealing #maternalhealth by @gracemacll

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a month ago

My therapist told me that I am parenting on hard mode and when I posted about it, people had a lot to say.

Tandem feeding two kids, no screens in the house, cosleeping, babywearing, and doing it all without a village nearby can be completely exhausting at times.

But many of you pushed back on the “hard mode” label — and you definitely had a point. Is this actually harder? Or is it just… how it used to be, before we overcomplicated everything and decided parents need to “do it all” with none of the built-in support?

So much of this used to be normal. This is how humans raised babies for most of history, before industrialization gave us “easy” versions to opt into instead.

I’m not saying easy mode is wrong — I’m saying I didn’t choose hard, I chose close. Some days close is exhausting. Other days it’s the thing that gets me through. And I could make a whole other post (and probably will) about how the “hard mode” cured my PPA with my first baby and PPD with my second.

So — hard mode or original mode, what do you think?

And follow @gracemacll if you want to hear what my therapist said about how to thrive in “hard mode”. by @gracemacll

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a month ago