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poems & words & longings

@heartstringsandwords

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all written from my heartstrings

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feels like forever

love that feels like a hazy summer Sunday night
love that feels like catching a lightning bug in the palm of your hand
love that feels like the sunset at 8pm on the back porch
love that feels like the windows down on a county road
love that feels like talking with an old friend you’ve known for years
love that feels like forever
that’s what it feels like loving you

🩵🩵🩵 by @heartstringsandwords

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2 years ago

a song

All creation sings
Holy.
But what if my song sounds different right now?
What if it’s hard to lift my hands right now?
Holy songs
Turn into
Helpless cries.
My soul
Longs
For rest
And
For restoration.
To fall at Your feet
And
To sit at Your feast.
My lungs are weary
Trying to sing a song
They don’t have the
Strength
To sing on their own.
All that is heard
When my mouth opens
To sing
Are the
Cries of a broken and humble heart.
You don’t desire
A sacrifice or a burnt offering.
You desire exactly
All that I have to give right now
—Nothing—
I have nothing
Besides a heart posture
In which
I fall on my knees
And my holy song sounds like helpless cries.
In Your abounding love
You kneel beside of me
And You hear my cries.
You hold me near
And You weep with me
Collecting every tear.
You see me.
You hear me
Even though it isn’t a holy song
You listen.
You sit with me
Until I’m ready for You to pick me up.
You hold my hands
Until I’m able to lift them to You.
You listen to my helpless cries
Until I can sing a holy song. by @heartstringsandwords

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2 years ago

this is a 2 poem entry about me falling in love in 2 different seasons, so here is:

sappy seasons

“just as the leaves are falling”🍁

The air is getting crisp,
Dusk is coming earlier,
Leaves are rustling in the wind.
All signs of autumn that typically come as calming to me.
But instead,
There are a million thoughts in my mind,
And you take up all of them but one.
You are 64° in November
With the windows rolled down
Driving backroads
On a really slow Sunday.
You are the smell of warm apple pie
With the musk of Maker’s Mark
Lingering in the air
Even after you leave.
As everything around me is taking its final breaths before winter,
I am taking what feels to be my very first breath because of you.
But my heart is racing
As I anxiously watch the leaves fall.
Because deep down
I know I’m falling too.

“snow”❄️

Your hand holds mine as we watch
The first fall
Of snow
—
Embracing winter in an unexpected warm welcome
Covering the pines in an elegant lace
Pure
Innocent
Dream-like
Dancing in the moonlight of an early evening
Falling around us like a marshmallow cloud
Sweet
Gentle
Trusting
—
As we sit on the Square and watch the snow fall,
It whispers a cool “I love you” in the wind.
My heart melts against the cold
As our eyes meet.
I join the snow in admitting
“I love you.” by @heartstringsandwords

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2

2 years ago

Who I am

So often I find myself
Locked
In this game of comparison.
Not with another creation,
But with
Who I once was
Who I am
Who I want to be.
I feel as though
You love her
So.
Much.
More.
That little girl—
Full of innocence and wonder—
Grown into a woman—
Scarred of brokenness and shame.
How can You want me?
How can You look at me?
Do You not see what I am?
Rebel.
Hypocrite.
Gossip.
Liar.
Sinner.
I am not who I once was.
I am not even who I want to be.
Yet—
You let me lie down in green pastures.
You lead me beside quiet waters.
You renew my soul.
Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me
All the days of my life. by @heartstringsandwords

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2 years ago

Miss him just the same even 20 years later. Until Heaven, Paw Paw🫶🏼

Weeping Willow Secrets

Outside, the breeze seems to whisper delicate secrets to the Weeping Willow as it dances in the morning glory
My eyes are met with the soft glow of summer sunlight flowing through the rusty trailer windows
You sit in your creaky, green recliner and invite me to sit in your lap as we indulge in the sweet taste of Nana’s too-much-sugar-butter biscuits
The smell of Marlboro cigarettes and honeybuns lingers in my nose as you quietly remind me that I’m your favorite grandchild
I wonder if the Weeping Willow heard that secret
Running off of the front porch, I am met by the humid heat that welcomes me in an embrace that can only be felt in the deep south
The Weeping Willow rustles as you come chasing me through its long, flowy branches
I climb into the bed of your old Ford F-150 and duck down hiding behind my little girl giggles that are sure to give me away
Your smile fades as you raise your voice at me for the first time and sternly scold me to get out of your truck
Surely the Weeping Willow heard that
A week later, Momma tells me that you’re really sick and that’s why you yelled at me because your medicine makes you feel bad
Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling good?
What if I could’ve helped?
What if the Weeping Willow knew the secret cure?
I hold your hand as you remind me one last time that you love me more than you love apple pies and sweet tea
Outside, the breeze seems to whisper sad goodbyes to the Weeping Willow as it cries in the mourning pain by @heartstringsandwords

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2

2 years ago

drought

my thoughts
my words
they’re all empty.
none of the words I’m putting together
sound pretty
flow easily
make sense.
I long for words that embody the way Your love fulfills my soul.
it’s a love so deep
that the words
feel
just out of reach.
so in my drought of
thoughts
and
words
here is my
offering of praise.
You are
W O R T H Y
of it all
even when I can’t find the words to say. by @heartstringsandwords

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2 years ago

maybe

maybe if I was
skinnier
taller
smarter
prettier
funnier
quieter
holier
purer
maybe then I’d be enough.
imago dei.
You said I’ve been created in Your image.
so why doesn’t it feel that way?
maybe fearfully and wonderfully made
doesn’t
apply
to
me.
I will never be enough.
but
I never have to be.
You take every insecurity as Your own burden
and instead
clothe me with a righteousness that I could never be enough for.
not because I’m
skinnier
taller
smarter
prettier
funnier
quieter
holier
purer
but because imago dei lends itself to
purpose.
Your purpose for me lies outside of being enough
because Your sacrifice was more than enough.
You died so that I can live
imago dei.
in Your image.
fearfully and wonderfully. by @heartstringsandwords

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2

2 years ago

satisfy my soul

what if You asked me to let it all go?
to let go of my heart’s
deepest desires
&
greatest longings.
You put them there.
You created me.
so why are You withholding?
I want to believe that You are good.
I know that You are good.
yet
my heart deceives me
because I’ve turned my
deepest desires
&
greatest longings
into idols I adore.
my pursuit of You is blurred by the lie that anything could be better than You.
it isn’t true.
You don’t withhold good from me.
You withhold what isn’t good for me
because You are what’s best for me.
You ask me to let it all go
and as tight as I am gripping to my
deepest desires
&
greatest longings
I know if I just let go
I will find rest.
You will satisfy my soul
because it’s
deepest desires
&
greatest longings
will be You. by @heartstringsandwords

6

1

2 years ago

Good God

my portion.
my overflow.
my joy.
You pour Yourself out selflessly
onto me
who selfishly drinks without gratitude.
I despise myself because when I look at the magnitude of Your goodness,
I can’t believe I’ve chosen to settle for the world’s mediocrity.
You give more than my wildest dreams could ever muster up in the utterance of a whispered prayer.
I dance in the abundance of the life that I don’t deserve.
it is Your grace that dwells in the brokenness of my fragmented soul.
the heart of a loving Father as He reaches for His longing daughter.
my portion.
my overflow.
my joy. by @heartstringsandwords

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2 years ago

highway flowers 💐

you pick them for me
because they remind you of me.
you just don’t know it yet.
—wild & free
and
lost & lonely—
they aren’t bought with money,
but chosen with kindness and longing.
just your highway flower,
waiting to be picked. by @heartstringsandwords

2

2

2 years ago

how many?

I haven’t thought about him in forever
And by him I mean the abyss of men that seems to only grow more vast with every one of them that steps into my life
And by forever I mean the amount of time that passes until I hear that song again or see that picture in my camera roll
Am I the problem?
Some girls are willing to admit that they are
But me?
I refuse to believe that it’s me
How could it be me?
I am everything a boy should want
My waist is small
My nails are pink
My skin is tan
My jokes are funny
My personality is bubbly
My laugh is contagious
My heart is kind
My lips are kissable
My eyes are blue
My smile is dazzling
My words are charming
So what is it?
All of this and I still am not enough to make him want to stay
He walks into my life only to fade out in an instant
He slowly creeps back in because he realizes I am the best thing that happened to him
Only he still doesn’t want to stay
He lingers without the commitment
He likes the thought of being with me
He likes the idea of being with me
But actually being with me?
He would never
Over and over again it’s because “you’re just too good for me”
If I’m too good for you then why did you come back?
If I’m too good for you then wouldn’t I have been too good to leave in the first place?
How many more will fall into the abyss of my goodness
I’m not even that good is what’s funny
I know my worth
But if he got to really know me, he’d know I’m actually not that good
No one is
How many more until one notices that? by @heartstringsandwords

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3 years ago

ily

He said “I love you”
What did he mean by that?
Surely he didn’t mean that…
The words fell from his lips right as I hung up the phone
The same way you tell your mom you love her when she calls
They always say a boy looks for a girl that reminds him of his mom
But who is they anyways?
He barely even knows me
That isn’t true
He actually knows me
He knows my heart, my personality, my quirks
And he loves me?
No, he didn’t mean it…
Did he?
Do I want him to?
I. Love. You.
Three simple words that when put together
Becomes the most complex phrase in the entire world
It always comes back to him
Back to us
Is that love?
Ignorance is bliss,
But love seems to be better.
I am scared to love
To be loved.
It holds the possibility of being hurt again
And that’s a risk I just can’t take
Just not yet
I’m not ready to be loved by him
But I guess I don’t get to decide that
Because he’s decided to love me
Even though I didn’t say it back by @heartstringsandwords

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3 years ago