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Heather Colley(@heatburns)'s profile avatar HD Profile

Heather Colley

@heatburns

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lover of yoga + calligraphy + sunshine // Mom of 4 - @perchpapercompany
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I'm not sure the last time you went to target for cat food and paper towels and ended up doing this-but I would HIGHLY recommend. 10/10 Go now. Send photos. by @heatburns
My mom’s cats are looking for a new home. If you know of anyone who needs two new friends, please let me know. ❤️❤️. Both female, both fixed and up to date on all shots. Super friendly and affectionate. by @heatburns
It’s been almost 8 weeks since my mom died… it’s the longest and shortest amount of time I’ve ever had to carry. It seems impossible at times. Who am I now that my mom is gone? Is she really gone when I can feel her and see all the signs she is sending? Is she still my mom wherever she is at? In every second of every day she’s on my mind. I’m afraid if I stop thinking about her she will disappear… and then where will I find her? Smiling feels wrong, and any sense of joy feels like betrayal. // Grief has shown me that I can do hard things. Grief is standing up and speaking at a funeral even when you were supposed to have 30 more years. It’s continuing to show up for my family even when all I want to do is disappear. It’s understanding that I’m no longer who I used to be. That I have to change and grow even when everything feels like it’s too much. It’s accepting that I can’t show up how I want to right now. Grief has taught me to keep going even when I don’t know how. It’s taught me to slow down and make decisions about what I really want in life. It’s taught me not to take anything or anyone for granted. Grief is knowing that the one person who could always understand and make things better is the only person you can’t talk to. Grief is letting yourself be heartbroken while making dinner on a Tuesday night. It’s finding out your mom hid a note in her old raggedy Ann doll and feeling like she’s somehow still here. It’s feeling like nothing inside of you makes sense anymore while watching everyone else around you be ok. It’s watching your life move forward while you’re trapped in a way you don’t know how to untangle. It’s heartache and love and you feel them both with such intensity, enough to swallow you whole. It’s talking to your mom out loud and knowing she hears you…. but not knowing where she is or how to find her. It’s exhaustion and screaming and laughing until you cry all over again. The day I found out she had died, I remember thinking that I don’t understand how anyone survives this… and then you do. You keep living, you keep waking up with the hope that someday things might be a little lighter…if even for a moment. I miss you mom. by @heatburns
Loud noises. Muliple exclamation points. A group of people laughing, anyone saying she’s in a better place.. it’s all the same. Too much right now. I got to Billings late last Tuesday night after a long morning of calls from my sister that she couldn’t get ahold of mom. She was found that afternoon in her kitchen….It was too late. No health issues. No heart problems. No signs. She ate super clean, she swam 4-5x per week. She died with no warning from a sudden cardiac arrest. The shock is wearing off, and now everything is too raw, too much. I don’t understand being in this world without her. She was a mom who always showed up. When we got sick with the chicken pox, she baked us a face cake and put red hots all over it to cheer us up. She let us have elaborate birthday parties for our cabbage patch dolls, inviting all the neighbors and their dolls too. She always gave thoughtful gifts, most of which she had handmade herself. Nothing I can say about her will ever be enough, or encompass all that she was or all that she did for us. I heard a song for the first time earlier today, one line said, “a heart that’s broke is a heart thats been loved.” - She will be missed more than I can ever explain. by @heatburns
A week in Mexico City - December 2024 by @heatburns
Many of you may remember when I went to Tanzania Africa and spent some time volunteering at a baby orphanage in a tiny rural village called Bwiru in 2013. During my time there I met a young woman who worked at the Orphanage named Diana. She was always smiling despite living in extreme poverty and having a very tragic childhood. She now has 4 beautiful children. Sweetbertha, Margret, David and Susan, and because there is no access to birth control, she has a 5th son (Noah) on the way. Diana has never asked for money. She is kind and humble but her life has proved even more difficult and she is struggling to provide food for her family. For a living, she has a few chickens and sells their eggs and has a small store where she tries to sell small items but does not make enough to feed her family. Her husband, Laban, worked at the port carrying small fish from the docks but has been laid off due to new fishing restrictions in Mawanza. Times are tough. They have no savings and struggle to support their family. They cant afford proper education for their children and have no money for appropriate healthcare. Her dream is to become a cook and start her own business selling food from the side of the road, but this requires financial backing. Diana is very kind and business savvy and wants to change the future for her family. She has taught herself English and I know she will use the money in a way that will be thoughtful and will hopefully change things for her and her family. I am not one to ask for money, but I truly believe that this will benefit her and her children into the future. Every cent will go directly to support Diana’s family. With Tanzanians in poverty they make <$1 a day. It only takes $25 for her to feed her entire family for a week. If you are able to help, I sincerely appreciate it… and so will Diana. She does not know we are hosting this fundraiser for her yet. ***My friend, Becca started this Go Fund me from Australia. Please note the donation amount is shown in Austrailian dollars. https://gofund.me/7e31a122 by @heatburns
by @heatburns
First day! They’re all in school! Emmett - Kindergarten / Lucia - 4th / Anya and Coco - 8th / I’ve been looking forward to this day for so long, a chance to finally have some alone time…. But as I drove home after drop off this morning I couldn’t stop crying. Time really does move too fast…. ❤️ by @heatburns
4/4 by @heatburns
3/4 by @heatburns
2/4 by @heatburns
The past 2 years….. Reel 1 of 4 by @heatburns

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