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Jamie

@herselfloudly

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followers

572

following

Messy brain. Soft heart.
Trainee counsellor and Personal trainer
Learning to trust my voice and take up space.
You don't have to shrink to be worthy

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Anger.

I would always deny that emotion.

I used to think anger was something we should be ashamed of.

Especially as women.

How often have we been taught to swallow it?

To smile.

To be agreeable.

To understand everyone else's feelings before our own.

But sometimes anger is information.

Sometimes it's telling us something matters.

Sometimes it's showing us a boundary we didn't know we had.

And sometimes, it needs a little space before we decide what to do with it.

I'm learning to get curious about mine.

Not to judge it.
Not to let it run the show.
But to listen.

What if your anger isn't something to get rid of, but something to understand?

Save this for when your feelings feel a little too loud. 🖤

#HerselfLoudly #FeminineRage #AngerAwareness #Boundaries #EmotionalAwareness #SelfWorth #TraineeCounsellor #WomenSupportingWomen #anger #selfawareness #therapy #counselling by @herselfloudly

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a month ago

The guilt after saying no can be LOUD.

Especially when you've spent years being the one who says yes.

The one who helps.
The one who understands.
The one who makes it easier for everyone else.

But feeling guilty doesn't automatically mean you've done something wrong.

Sometimes it means you're learning a new way of being.

A way where your needs count too.

A way where you can love people without being available every second.

A way where no is a complete sentence… even if your nervous system hasn't quite got the memo yet.

I'm still learning this one.

Are you?

Save this for the next time you feel the urge to say yes when you really mean no. 🖤

#HerselfLoudly #PeoplePleasingRecovery #Boundaries #SelfWorth #SayingNo #EmotionalWellbeing #TraineeCounsellor #WomenSupportingWomen #personcenteredcounsellor #studentcounsellor #mentalhealth #selfcare #therapy #counselling by @herselfloudly

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a month ago

Somewhere along the way, so many of us learned to put everyone else first.

To be helpful.
To be understanding.
To not ask for too much.

And slowly, without even noticing, we started treating our own needs like an inconvenience.

But you are a person too.

You deserve rest.
You deserve care.
You deserve to take up space.
You deserve to have needs without feeling guilty for having them.

I'm learning this too. Not perfectly. Not every day. But I'm learning.

So here's your gentle reminder:

You don't have to abandon yourself to be a good person.

What do you need today? 🌙

Save this for the days you forget.

#HerselfLoudly #SelfWorth #PeoplePleasing #SelfAcceptance #Boundaries #TraineeCounsellor #WomenSupportingWomen #YouMatter #personcentered #mentalhealth #selfcare by @herselfloudly

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a month ago

I've been thinking about how easily we can lose ourselves in other people's needs and expectations.

We learn what makes people happy.

What makes us acceptable.

What makes us “good”.

We learn to say yes.

We learn to cope.

We learn to perform.

And sometimes we become so good at it that we stop asking ourselves what we actually need.

So here's a question I'm sitting with:

What do you need?

Not what should you need.

Not what would make someone else happy.

Not what would make you more productive.

Not what would make you smaller.

Not what you think you're allowed to ask for.

What do you actually need?

And if your immediate answer is “I don't know”...

That's okay.

Maybe that's where the conversation starts.

Where did you learn not to listen to yourself?

#traineecounsellor #personcentered #whatdoyouneed #mentalhealth #peoplepleasing #fawning #needs #counsellingjourney #listentoyourself #counselling #selfworth #selfcare #healing #mindfulness #mentalhealthawareness #reflectivepractice #therapistsofinstagram #counsellortraining by @herselfloudly

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2 months ago

Because I am someone who is naturally quiet, I am been thinking about what it means to live loudly.

And I realised that it doesn't mean being the loudest person in the room.

It means making decisions for yourself.

Not because someone else expects it.
Not because you're afraid of what they'll think.
Not because you've learned that keeping everyone else happy is how you stay safe or accepted.

It means being able to ask:
What do I need?
And sometimes the answer is:
“I don't know.”
That's okay too.

It means learning to trust your own voice.

Taking up space.
Saying no.
Changing your mind.
Resting.
Asking for help.
Moving your body because it feels good rather than because you think you need to punish it.
Being seen without constantly editing yourself.
Knowing that your worth doesn't come from how useful, agreeable, small, attractive, strong or easy you are for other people.

Maybe living loudly is simply this:

Being yourself without apologising for taking up the space you occupy.

That's what Herself, Loudly means to me.

#traineecounsellor #personcentered #liveloudly #authentic #takeupspace #mentalhealth #counsellingjourney #selfcare #selflove #lgbtq #queertherapist #queerpersonaltrainer #personaltrainer by @herselfloudly

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2 months ago

Hello again.
I'm Jamie.
And this is Herself, Loudly.

This page has existed for a while, and it’s looked different at various times, but as I’ve gotten to know myself better, I'm becoming clearer about what I want it to be.

I'm a personal trainer, and I'm also in the final stretch of my counselling training.

For a while, I've wondered how those two parts of me fit together.
I think I'm finally understanding that they aren't as separate as I thought.
I'm interested in the relationship we have with ourselves.

Our bodies.
Our minds.
Our needs.
Our boundaries.
Our sense of worth.

I'm interested in what happens when we stop performing for everyone else and start asking:
What do I actually need?

I'm interested in women who have spent years making themselves smaller, quieter, easier or more acceptable.

And I'm interested in what happens when they start taking up space again.

I'm still learning. I have messy days. I have doubts. I have a loud brain. I'm not here pretending I've figured everything out.

I'm here as me.

A trainee counsellor.
A personal trainer.
A woman still learning to trust her own voice.

So, this is Herself, Loudly

For messy minds, strong bodies and soft hearts.

You don't have to shrink to be worthy.

#traineecounsellor #personaltrainer #takeupspace #messybrain #personcentered #mentalhealth #herselfloudly #authentic #messy #counsellingjourney #counselling by @herselfloudly

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2 months ago

This week reminded me that play is a form of regulation.

I had been holding on to everything so tightly that it was like I had forgotten that I could put it down for a bit.

So, I ended up outside, transforming an old keg into a planter.

It felt joyful.
It was messy.
I was barefoot in the grass and I reconnected with myself.

So here is a reminder:
Give yourself permission to rest.
Give yourself permission to play.
Give yourself permission to be messy.

Your mind and body deserve spaces where they can be unpolished, curious, and alive.

If you’ve reclaimed even one tiny moment of play this week, tell me what it looked like;
a doodle, a dance, a half‑finished idea. I want to celebrate it with you.

#traineecounsellor #rest #play #reclaimyourself #selfregulation #personcentered #creativehealing #restisradical #messymagic #neurodivergentrest #queerjoy #gardencreatures #upcycledart #planters #nature #queergardenmagic #whimiscalplanters #playisregulation #creativerest #momentsfromatraineecounsellor #gardenmagic #plantart #DIYgarden #queerartcommunity #neurodivergentjoy by @herselfloudly

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3 months ago

This year has challenged me more than I imagined.

But the most important thing I learnt is that I love this work, and this is definitely the right path for me.

Here's to Year 2, continuing to learn, grow and show up with compassion, curiosity and authenticity.

#TraineeCounsellor #aĺwayslearning #personcentredcounselling #authenticity #compassion by @herselfloudly

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3 months ago

Lately in my counselling training, I’ve been thinking about how self worth shows up in the body —
not as confidence, but as tiny moments of permission.

So here’s a gentle check in for you:
What’s one small thing your body did today that you’re proud of?

It doesn’t have to be big or aesthetic or productive.
Just honest.
Maybe you softened your shoulders. Maybe you asked for a pause.
Maybe you took up a little more queer space.

My one small thing: my breathing stayed steady in a moment that felt anxious.

Tell me yours below — I love seeing how queer bodies practise worth in the tiniest ways.

#QueerMentalHealth
#LGBTQCommunity
#QueerCounsellorInTraining
#TraumaInformedQueer #queerwellbeing
#TraineeCounsellor
#CounsellingTraining
#TherapyReflections
#MentalHealthAwareness
#EmbodiedHealing
#StrengthWithoutPunishment
#GentleStrength
#QueerFitness
#MindBodyStrength
#SelfWorthJourney
#TinyVictories
#SoftStrength by @herselfloudly

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3 months ago

If you’ve spent years shrinking your body — making yourself small, smoothing your edges, learning to take up less space — movement can feel complicated.

So many queer bodies know this.
I know this.

And in my work as a queer, trauma‑informed personal trainer,
I see this.
Folks arriving convinced their instincts are unreliable and their body somehow “late” to its own life.

But your body isn’t late.
It’s cautious.
It’s clever.
It protected you in the ways it could.

Strength training isn’t about forcing intensity. It’s about rebuilding trust — rep by rep, breath by breath — until your body remembers it’s allowed to unfurl again. To widen. To take up queer space. To move like itself.

You’re not behind.
You’re re‑entering your own wild movement.

If this resonates, tell me what your body is relearning right now.

#queertrainer #traumainformedfitness #latebloomer #strengthtrainingforwomen #bodytrust #movementheals #queerhealing #lgbtqia #selfworth #fitnessjourney #personaltrainer #lgbtqiafitness #takeupspace #wildmovement by @herselfloudly

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3 months ago

If you’re blooming later in life, your worth didn’t arrive late — it simply waited for safer soil.

Some truths need time.

Some identities need gentler seasons.

Some bodies need to unlearn smallness before they can unfurl.

Your worth was never missing.

It was growing quietly underground, gathering strength for the moment you finally felt ready to step into your own light.

If you are learning to take up space again - I would love to hear how.

#latebloomer #lgbtqia #queerhealing #queerjoy #selfworth #mentalhealthawareness #healingjourney #personalgrowth #selflove #innerstrength #traineecounsellor #reflectivepractice #personcenteredapproach #counsellortraining by @herselfloudly

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3 months ago

There’s something sacred about moving your body after years of holding yourself small.

When you come into queerness later in life, movement hits differently.
It’s not about “getting fit”.
It’s about coming home.

It’s the first deep breath after decades of bracing.
It’s the first stretch where you realise you’re allowed to take up space.
It’s the first moment you feel strength that isn’t about survival — it’s about choice.

For late‑in‑life queers, movement can be a reclamation:
a way of saying this is my body, and I get to decide how it feels, how it moves, how it lives.

If you’re starting now — at 30, 40, 50, 60+ — you’re not behind.
You’re right on queer time.

And your body is not late to the party.
It’s just finally being invited.

#LateInLifeQueer
#QueerMovement
#QueerStrength
#TraumaInformedTraining
#MovementForHealing
#StrengthWithoutPunishment
#QueerEmbodiment
#RightOnQueerTime
#AntiDietFitness
#StrengthForSurvivors
#BodyTrust
#MovementWithoutShame
#Queerpersonaltrainer
#lateinlifequeerfitness
#StrengthAtYourPace
#MovementForHealing
#GentleStrengthTraining
#CompassionateCoaching
#NoMoreFitnessShame by @herselfloudly

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4 months ago