Instagram story viewer> @heywithjude> Posts

Jude | Healing in your 30s · Nervous System & People-Pleasing

@heywithjude

undefined

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Download All

I wrote a letter to the woman I’m leaving behind. She almost lost herself trying to keep everyone else whole.

I’m not angry at her. I’m grateful for her.
But I’ve outgrown her — and that’s not a loss. That’s the whole point.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been living for everyone except yourself… this one’s for you. It’s time. 🤍

@amberhenryy inspired me in making my version & it’s truly healing. TYSM 💕

#TheWomanImLeavingBehind #SelfGrowthJourney #HealingEra #BreakingGenerationalCycles by @heywithjude

19

6

4 months ago

Nobody talks about the grief part of this. The grief of realizing how much of yourself you gave away just to feel safe.

That’s not weakness — that’s a kid who learned the room fast and adapted to survive it. You’re not slow at healing. You’re just finally paying attention to something you spent years ignoring.

Get my 5-Days People Pleasing Reset for a good start in finally embracing yourself out of the people pleaser wire. Check my bio & follow for more. ✨

#peoplepleasingrecovery #boundariesarehealthy #innerchildhealing #selfabandonment by @heywithjude

4

0

21 days ago

The ‘it’s too late’ thought is doing the same job the people-pleasing did — keeping you small and quiet, just about a different thing.

If you can convince yourself it’s too late to change, you never have to try. And if you never have to try, you never risk failing at it. That thought isn’t truth. It’s fear wearing a logical outfit.

Not sure how to start overcoming your people pleasing? Check my bio for free 5-Days People Pleasing Reset guide and let me know how you'd feel after. Cheers to you brave soul! ✨

#itsnottoolate #neuroplasticity #selfdevelopmentjourney #healingin30s #peoplepleasernomore by @heywithjude

20

6

21 days ago

Healing isn’t one way road, and honestly? Neither am I right now. Some days I feel like I’ve finally found my footing. Other days I miss being the girl who kept everyone comfortable, even though I know she was exhausted.

If you’re in that in-between place too — not who you were, not fully who you’re becoming yet — I made something for you. My free 5-Day People-Pleasing Reset walks you through
exactly this transition, one small shift at a time. Link in bio at @heywithjude 💕

What part of “somewhere between” are you in right now? Tell me below.

#peoplepleasing #innerchildhealing #nervoussystemhealing #healingjourney
#boundaries by @heywithjude

15

0

16 hours ago

Rest used to feel like danger. Like if I wasn’t doing something for someone, I wasn’t safe.

Learning that I’m allowed to just exist — without earning it — has been the quietest, hardest work of my healing.

Follow along if you’re doing this work too. This is the whole reason I create @heywithjude .

#nervoussystemhealing #peoplepleasing #hypervigilance
#innerchildhealing by @heywithjude

12

0

2 days ago

I asked God & Universe this morning to show me how amazing today could be. A few hours later, a stranger I've quietly admired for weeks stopped to start a conversation about how good my leg day workout today. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Some days remind you that you're never really alone in this. This is your reminder: speak it out loud. Ask God, the Universe, whatever you believe in. It's listening. 🙏✨

Have you ever asked for a sign and gotten one when you least expected it? Tell me below 👇 — and follow along if you want more reminders like this. 🤍

@heywithjude sending much hugs & joy! 💕✨🎉

#GodListens #SignsFromTheUniverse #ManifestationJourney #TrustTheProcess by @heywithjude

19

1

2 days ago

People-pleasing gets called a personality trait. It's not — it's a strategy your nervous system built a long time ago, back when staying agreeable felt safer than being honest.

A kid who grows up around unpredictable moods, conditional affection, or conflict they had no control over often becomes an adult who reads a room before they've even said hello. From the outside, it looks like kindness. Underneath, it's often fear wearing kindness as a disguise.

I lived the “easygoing” version of this for years before I understood what it was actually costing me — my rest, my honesty, my sense of who I even was underneath all that agreeableness.

Question: Which line below the waterline hit closest to home for you?

#peoplepleasingrecovery #fawnresponse #traumainformed #healinginmy30s innerchildwork by @heywithjude

4

0

3 days ago

"Sorry” used to be my armor. If I said it first, maybe the anger wouldn’t land on me.

Breaking this pattern has meant learning that I’m allowed to just… not apologize for existing. It’s harder than it sounds.

Follow along if you’re breaking this pattern too — I share what’s actually working (and what isn’t) here.

@heywithjude sending you much love. ❤️

#peoplepleasing #overapologizing #innerchildhealing #boundaries by @heywithjude

45

0

4 days ago

I used to think a “yes” was a contract I couldn’t break, even after I realized I didn’t want to follow through.

Real love — the kind I actually want in my life — was never asking me to disappear to keep it. It’s taken practice to understand that changing my mind isn’t a character flaw. It’s just being human.

Ask yourself: is there a “yes” you’re still honoring out
of guilt instead of desire? If you’re sitting with a “yes” you regret right now, save this post and start your own 5-day people pleasing reset — link in bio @heywithjude ✨

#healthyboundaries #selfrespect #peoplepleasingrecovery #healingjourney by @heywithjude

13

0

5 days ago

There’s a specific kind of grief that hits when you realize how much of your life was auditioning for love & approval instead of living it.

I felt this hard. And I know a lot of you do too.

If you’re ready to stop auditioning and start choosing — actually choosing — I built a free 5-day reset to help you find where to start. It’s gentle, it’s practical, and it’s in my bio @heywithjude .

Have you had this realization yet? I’d love to hear where you’re at.

#peoplepleasing #healinginyour30s #reclaimingyourlife #innerchildhealing
#boundaries by @heywithjude

18

0

6 days ago

Discipline used to feel like something I had to force. Now I think of it as doting on myself. 💫

There’s a difference between “I need more discipline to stick to this” and “I am doting on myself by showing up for this.” One comes from pressure. The other comes from love.

I’m building my fitness habits from that second place now — not for anyone watching, not for vanity, just as proof that I show up for myself.

Follow for more on how I’m reframing the habits I used to dread and overcoming people pleasing at the same time. 🤍

#selfdotingpractice #reframingdiscipline #selflovejourney #habitsthatheal by @heywithjude

16

1

7 days ago

I got REALLY good at reading rooms as a kid. Too good.
I could sense a shift in someone’s mood before they even said a word — and I’d adjust myself accordingly.

That’s not emotional intelligence. That’s a nervous system on high alert.

I made a free 5-Day People-Pleasing Reset for anyone who recognizes this pattern in themselves. It’s gentle, practical, and a great place to start unlearning it. Link in bio @heywithjude .

Did you grow up “reading the room” too? Tell me in the comments.

#peoplepleasing #hypervigilance #childhoodtrauma #innerchildhealing
#nervoussystem by @heywithjude

16

0

8 days ago