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Shelby Theron | Motherhood Unfiltered

@holdingboth.mama

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Twin mom • Angel mom 🪽
Holding joy, grief, chaos & growth.
Documenting motherhood & life as it unfolds.

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Postpartum is f#king weird. 😂

Nobody really prepares you for the little things.

Being physically and mentally exhausted from raising twins. Meeting two tiny humans’ needs when you’re only one person. Feeling frustrated because you don’t always know what the hell you’re doing. And the pure exhaustion that comes with caring for two babies on very minimal sleep.

And somewhere amongst all of that, you’re also trying to figure out how the person you were before motherhood fits into the new person you’re becoming.

But I think one of the hardest parts is something you don’t always talk about…

Missing the old you while trying to figure out who the new you is.

Because you can be so incredibly grateful for your babies and still miss your freedom, your identity, your body, your old routines, your old life.

You can love motherhood deeply and still find parts of it really f#king hard.

And I’m learning that those feelings don’t cancel each other out.

You can hold both. 🤍

Because amongst all the exhaustion, mess, overwhelm and WTF moments…

there is a love so immense that sometimes I genuinely can’t put it into words.

And somehow, despite everything…

I’d choose these little humans every single time. 🤍

What’s something about postpartum nobody warned you about? 👇🏻

#postpartum #twinmom #millenialmom by @holdingboth.mama

The festival girl is still in there, somewhere 🪩

Just a different kind of venue, an Adam Sandler dress code and a washing machine DJ. 😂

Used to be dancing at festivals until the early hours. Now I’m throwing shapes at home to the washing machine while the twins are asleep. Motherhood has your a bit cuckoo at times 🤪

#sahm #twinmom #millennialmom #comedy by @holdingboth.mama

Motherhood comes with a soundtrack: “Mum, mum, mum…” and a running list of everything else that needs doing. 🫠

Have I showered? Fed the dogs? Changed the nappies? Started the laundry? Answered that message? Done any work? Made any money?

I want to sit down, soak up these moments and be fully present with the girls.

But my brain is already racing ahead.

The house needs attention. The bills need paying. The laundry won’t wash itself. And I still want to build something for myself, too.

Sometimes, I struggle to switch off the part of me that wants to achieve, create and tick things off the list. The part that feels like I should always be doing more.

And if I’m honest, I often catch myself missing the freedom I had before becoming a mum. The old me. The spontaneity, the independence, the ability to do something without having to plan it around two tiny humans who need me.

I can miss that version of myself and still love the life I have now. I can be grateful for my girls and still find this transition hard.

There isn’t always a neat pocket of time to work, rest or focus on myself. Sometimes, making space looks less like balance and more like doing what I can in the gaps, asking for help when I need it and accepting that some things will have to wait.

I’m learning that being present doesn’t mean I’ve stopped caring about everything else. And wanting more doesn’t make me ungrateful.

I’m just trying to make space for both: the life I’m building and the moments I don’t want to miss. 🤍

And maybe that’s the part I’m still figuring out: will I find myself again, or will I learn to feel like myself in this new version of me? by @holdingboth.mama

Asked my husband to film some content on our walk today.

I was expecting ✨aesthetic nature shots✨.

Apparently, he had a completely different creative vision. 💀🍑😂

And this is while I’m deep in my Adam Sandler era… track pants, oversized T-shirt, zero effort. Not exactly serving ✨Instagram baddie✨.

Sometimes I don’t feel particularly sexy in this postpartum body, but apparently my husband hasn’t got that memo. 😂❤️

May we all have someone looking at us the way our husbands do. 🥹

#twimmom #husbandandwife #millenialmom by @holdingboth.mama

Last October, I found out I was pregnant with the twins. 🤍

It had only been four months since we lost Mieke. Four months since she died. Four months since I became a loss mum and the life I knew ended, too.

When Mieke died, a part of me died with her. I was still here, but I was no longer the same person. I was grieving my daughter while somehow continuing to exist in a world that expected me to keep going.

And then, somehow, I was standing at the beginning of another completely unexpected chapter.

Pregnant with the twins.

I don’t think the woman I was then could have imagined the year that followed: the premature arrival of our girls, the NICU, the recovery, the exhaustion, and learning how to be a mum to two little humans while learning how to live with the loss of another.

The twins brought a love into my life that I will never be able to put into words. But their arrival did not erase Mieke’s absence.

I’ve had to learn how to hold the joy of watching the twins grow alongside the pain of knowing Mieke never will. How to celebrate their milestones while carrying the ones she will never reach.

The twins are not a replacement for Mieke, and Mieke is not forgotten because I have them. They are three separate, deeply loved children, each with their own place in my heart.

I’m not the person I was before Mieke died or before the twins were born. I’m becoming someone new, shaped by love, loss, motherhood and survival.

Some days I feel stronger than ever. Other days I barely recognise myself.

But I am still here.

Here as Mieke’s mum.
Here as the twins’ mum.
Here as a woman learning how to carry both.

I’m learning that grief and joy can exist together. One does not cancel out the other.

So, if this year has changed you, too, I hope you know that you’re allowed to miss the person you were while still loving the person you’re becoming.

I will carry the grief of losing one daughter and the love of raising two others for the rest of my life.

🤍 by @holdingboth.mama

🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹 by @holdingboth.mama

I have a feeling this might become my favourite comment section 😂

Loss mums… you know. 🫠

No words. No explaining. Just GIFs.

I’ll go first. 👇🏻

#lossmom #stillborn #angelmom #stillbirth #babyloss by @holdingboth.mama

Hey Mama,

A little reminder for whoever needed it today.
You’re doing better than you think. 🤍

#motherhood #millennialmom #twinmom by @holdingboth.mama

Twin parents: IYKYK. 😂

Apparently twins come with unsolicited commentary from the public. Drop the most ridiculous comments you’ve received. 👇

#twinmom #twinparents #unhinged by @holdingboth.mama

“What did you do today?”
“Nothing.”

Some days it genuinely feels like I’ve achieved nothing.

The same cycle, over and over. Feed. Change. Soothe. Wash bottles. Repeat.

Yet somehow, you’ve done everything.

You fed them, changed them, loved them, comforted them, stimulated them, kept them safe… and did it all again.

Motherhood is funny like that.

You can feel like you did nothing, when in reality you did everything. 🤍

#momslife #stayathomemom #twinmom by @holdingboth.mama

Yummy mummy era 👶🍼

Serving milk, spit-ups and pj days. Anyone else in their yummy mummy era? by @holdingboth.mama

International Rainbow Baby Day 🌈

Today I celebrate the two babies I get to hold, while remembering the daughter I wish I could.

Alexandria and Margaux, you are my rainbow babies. 👯
Mieke, you will always be part of our story. 🪽

The joy doesn’t erase the grief. The grief doesn’t take away the joy. I hold both. 🤍

#rainbowbaby🌈 #angelmom #motherhood by @holdingboth.mama