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@hyper_chondriac

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I don’t really like change. It’s scary, it’s different, it makes me anxious. Especially change around my identity and who I am, what I care about, what drives and motivates me. And, almost always, how others perceive me.

I’m trying my best to learn that I don’t need validation from other people to accept myself. We’re all flawed in some way, that’s what makes us human. The voice in my head often makes me think I’m undeserving of kindness or love because of it. But slowly, I’m trying to embrace another perspective, one that tells me I’m okay as I am.

These past few months have changed me… I realise what matters, I know that I have a duty to help others and that I should seek God’s mercy and be thankful for every blessing. Watching my people suffer every day, I’ve felt helpless and broken. But I also feel galvanised into action, to stand against injustice. I won’t hide, I won’t be silent. 🇵🇸

This is who I am. And I’m all right. 🙏🏽🩵 by @hyper_chondriac

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2 years ago

My article about Iraq is finally live in @thenewarab 🙏🏽💙 This whole experience – seeing my country, my relatives, attempting to capture some of its essence in writing – has been deeply emotional. It’s certainly the hardest piece I’ve ever written, and the most important. I hope it gives you a sense of what my broken yet beautiful country is like and why I hold it close to my heart. 🇮🇶🙏🏽 Link in bio x taken in Iraq by @hyper_chondriac

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4 years ago

Iraq… you stole my heart, broke it, filled it with joy and sorrow. This has been a life-changing trip. I knew returning Baghdad, the city where I was born, would be difficult.

One of the reasons is that I didn’t leave by choice. I was born during the Iran-Iraq war and I was only three or four when we left, during the First Gulf war, so I didn't realise what was happening… that we left our home because it wasn't safe to live there anymore.

I don’t have many memories, mostly stories my mum tells me like how we used to move between family homes to ‘dodge the bombs’; how I used to sleep with my fingers in my ears because the bombing was so loud; how me and my cousins would play hide and seek during the constant blackouts; I would sit by the door waiting for my dad to come home because he was serving in the army.

I didn’t realise how much those early experiences have shaped me… what I now understand as war trauma (through lots of therapy!) still affects me. We were lucky… we came to the UK as refugees safely, not having to make perilous journeys or be turned away/met with hostility and indignation like today’s refugees face.

Over the years I’ve watched helplessly as Iraq continued to become a battleground, innocent lives taken during invasions, terrorist attacks, civil wars. I’ve worried about my family’s safety, I’ve mourned the loss of life. I’ve watched as the land once known as the cradle of civilisation became more like the grave.

Yet Iraq today is a vibrant place, full of incredibly kind people. I’ve felt pride speaking to them in my mother tongue.

But my heart aches for them. There’s a sense of futility that, like the dust, coats everything. Children and elderly begging, crumbling infrastructure. The detritus a constant reminder of a city battered by its dark history; the scars of war and a tyrannical regime are still visible.

Despite it all, I feel strongly rooted to the place where I took my first breath. It may not be where I’ll take my last, but I’m so grateful to have had the chance to soak up Baghdad’s atmosphere. I finally came home… and when I go, I’ll leave my soul on Iraqi soil. 🙏🏽🇮🇶❤️‍🩹💙 taken in Baghdad, Iraq by @hyper_chondriac

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4 years ago

Blessed with another epic @muse gig 🙌🏽😎🩵🤩 What a time!! We nearly didn’t go because Ticketmaster cancelled our tickets claiming I’m a bot! And they refused to reinstate them. But we got very lucky and ended up getting VIP access 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Sad we didn’t get a group pic but always so fun to see this band with mates 💓

This year marks 20 years since I first saw them live… I told Matt I’ve been a fan for 22 years and he said ‘you don’t look older than 22!’ 😅🧒🏽 actually looking forward to the new album, already has some bangers ⚡️ (also ofc have to include my faves at the end… spotted the LG poster from when they played in Brixton in 2017 🥰) taken in O2 Academy Brixton by @hyper_chondriac

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4 months ago

🇦🇪 > 🇬🇧 > 🇩🇪 > 🇧🇪 > 🇨🇭> 🇬🇷 > 🇵🇱 > 🇬🇧 > 🇫🇷 9 out of 12 shows, not bad 🙌🏽

Hecking emotional rant incoming… 🥹 I’ve been so blessed with a summer of amazing experiences and memories because of LG and their epic team. I am eternally grateful 🩵🙏🏽 (also graduated in between shows, hence those pics, lol 🧑🏽‍🎓)

Music is the only medium in this world that heals and fills my heart, makes me feel alive and creates an instant bond with total strangers. LG have given me so much joy and connections with people 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Their songs are like my companions, I carry them with me through life’s highs and lows.

There’s also something moving about an artist making themselves vulnerable to create their art… when they share it with you, it feels like they’re inviting you to be vulnerable too – another reason why I feel so connected to LG and their music 🩵 (and why AI could never!)

Lastly, I’m humbled, flabbergasted and deeply moved that my favourite band cares about my presence at their shows to make me feel appreciated and valued, every time 🥹🥰🙏🏽🩵 I’ve repeated this a thousand times cos it’s true but I wish I had the words to express my gratitude to them for treating me with such incredible kindness. I honestly don’t feel deserving but I’ll never ever take it for granted 🙏🏽😭

Mega shout out to their amazing management and crew, without whom none of this is possible – legends, all of you! London Grammar, I cherish you always. Big love forever from your biggest fan. xxx 💙💙💙 by @hyper_chondriac

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a year ago

Double post cos these are landscape 😅🙌🏽 Best night of my life, thank you to The Greatest Legends @londongrammar @hannahmayreid @dan.hjrothman @dotmajor for inviting me to do the Q&A and ofc @banquetrecords for putting on such amazing gigs in K town! I will never ever forget this incredible experience 😭🥹🙏🏽🩵💙 by @hyper_chondriac

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2 years ago

So. This happened. I honestly don’t have words… LG made my dreams come true. I’ve had actual dreams about interviewing them, it’s something I’ve wanted to do for years but I never thought it would ever become a reality, let alone in front of an audience.

It was so fun and extra special because it was in my home town, in a venue I’ve been coming to since I was a child. Can’t thank the band and their managers / team / inner circle enough for being so kind and trusting me with this. Greatest day of my life tbh. @londongrammar I love you 🥹🙏🏽🩵 Big love @dan.hjrothman @hannahmayreid @dotmajor

(also bonus points cos Dan approved of my outfit… I was basically cosplaying him, lol 💯)

Finally, thanks to my lovely mates who came to support me and took most of these of the Q&A 💙 by @hyper_chondriac

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2 years ago

The Falasteen Cap is here! (Arabic for Palestine, embroidered onto the front). Designed with love and care by two volunteers, Dalia and Noor, we wanted to create a symbol of solidarity with the people of Palestine and try to help children and families caught in this horrific genocide.

We have set up a fundraiser with the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund (@thepcrf ) for their ‘Urgent Gaza Relief and Recovery’ fund, which is providing urgent medical and humanitarian aid.

We are asking for a minimum donation of £35. Once you have donated, we will send you a cap free of charge – find out more about the cap and how to donate at the link in bio.

Please share 🙏🏽 Thank you so much for your support.

Free Falasteen! 🇵🇸🍉 by @hyper_chondriac

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2 years ago

How has it been a week since Glasto?! I miss it so much ❤️‍🩹🥺🩵 feel super blessed and grateful to have had the chance to go; to have witnessed my fave band being amazing headliners (and to have them be kind enough to show me appreciation always 🥹🙏🏽💓); to have seen so much support and solidarity for Palestine from artists, punters, organisers 🇵🇸🍉🩵 Truly there’s no experience like it. Included my story from the other day in this post cos it’s still relevant given the endless horrors we continue to witness in Gaza 💔 taken in Glastonbury Festival by @hyper_chondriac

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2 years ago

You can prob tell by now I’m a v emotional person, it doesn’t take much for me to cry… but last night was different. The emotions were high as I watched my favourite band, three super talented and wonderfully kind people, headline at Glastonbury ❤️‍🔥 I expected nothing less than a beautiful show ofc, yet they still exceeded expectations and took our breaths away. So honoured to have been there to experience such a special, seminal moment in their careers… they so deserve it and more. 🥹🙏🏽✨💓 @londongrammar I’m so very proud of you legends. Big love always from your biggest fan xxx 🩵🩵🩵

*the kind part is super important. When I tell you these guys are the nicest, most down to earth people in this industry. It’s the simple truth. For some reason they have chosen to bless me with so much warmth… I don’t know how to express my gratitude. Never ever taking it for granted 🙏🏽🥹😭💓💓 taken in Glastonbury Festival by @hyper_chondriac

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2 years ago

What a beautiful reissue to mark the 10th anniversary of the stunning @londongrammar debut album, If You Wait. Love that gold and black spatter effect on the vinyl 🤩💙🙌🏽✨

#londongrammar #rsd23 #ifyouwait #anniversary by @hyper_chondriac

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3 years ago