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Annabel Lane | Midlife Shadow Work Coach

@iamannabellane

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Life changed. So did your identity & purpose.
The good mother, the good wife. Somewhere you disappeared.
Reclaim your fire & create your dream life.🔥

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Lots of new faces here, so a little reintroduction felt right.

I’m Annabel. Mum first — always. My kids are my greatest achievement.
Northern to my core - even though I live in the South. Family is everything, and I’m very close to my parents and brother.

I’ve lived in Paris, love learning languages (hello Duolingo obsession), and my first proper job was with Virgin Atlantic — which probably explains my love of travel and big horizons.

I worked in marketing, retrained in interior design (I love transforming spaces), then life changed. A 26-year relationship ended in my mid-40s, and with it the future I thought I knew.

I retrained in yoga. Found Jungian coaching. It changed my life when I felt completely lost.

The work I do now is the work I needed back then — helping people come home to themselves after life cracks them open.

This is 54. And I’m just getting started.

If you’re here because something in you is ready for more — welcome. I’m really glad you’re here. 🙌🏻💃🏼💫 by @iamannabellane

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8 months ago

You’ve done everything they say you should after divorce.

So why does it still feel off?

This post is for the 40+ divorced mum who’s ready to stop guessing and start actually feeling like herself again.

Red Dress Energy® isn’t about doing more.
It’s about doing what finally works.

Click on link in Bio to begin. ⬆️

#RedDressEnergy #DivorcedMum #JungianCoach #LifeAfterDivorce Photo of a blonde woman in her 50s wearing a red suit, staring directly at the camera with a calm, confident expression. Text overlay reads: ‘Still lost after doing all the right things?’ by @iamannabellane

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9 months ago

You didn’t go through all that shit just to create a slightly different version of your old life. 🔥

You can change your relationship, your career, your postcode, even your entire wardrobe.
But if you’re still playing by the same old rules, you’ll keep creating different versions of the same life.
And frankly, life’s too bloody short for that.

🔥 Enter FIRESTARTER.
7 self-paced modules to uncover what’s keeping you playing small, reclaim the parts of yourself you’ve buried, and start creating a life that’s actually YOURS.

Because your next chapter deserves to be fucking extraordinary.

Ready to light the match? 🔥
FIRESTARTER | 7 modules | £111

Comment FIRE and I’ll send you the link. ❤️ by @iamannabellane

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20 hours ago

I have a confession.

For years, I judged certain women. The victims who blamed everyone else. The walk-away wives who put their own happiness before their kids. The ones who made everything about them.

I swore I’d never become that.

Turns out, I wasn’t judging them because they were different from me. I was judging them because they were showing me the parts of myself I was too ashamed to admit existed.

The walk-away wife? That was in me. The woman who makes everything about her? That was in me too. But it didn’t fit with the version of myself I’d chosen to show the world. The capable one. The strong one. So I exiled those parts.

And every time I saw another woman doing the thing I’d banished, the judgment came up fast. The victim women who horrified me? They were in my shadow the entire time. I judged them because they were showing me what I couldn’t say out loud: that I also felt powerless. A victim of circumstances. And admitting that felt weak.

Here’s what changed when I stopped running. I realised I had a choice. I didn’t have to keep following the same patterns. The limitations I thought were real? They were unconscious rules I’d been living by without knowing it.

I could choose differently. Date differently. Work differently. Mother differently. Not because the old way was wrong. Because I finally saw I’d been living by rules I never consciously agreed to. And the moment I made the unconscious conscious, the rules lost their grip.

This is Red Dress Energy. A life far bigger than the persona version of you thought was possible.

Firestarter. Seven days. Root to crown. Meeting the shadow, reclaiming the exiled parts, calling in the woman you’re becoming.

Comment FIRE and I’ll send you the link. by @iamannabellane

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3 days ago

You think you left the good girl behind when you changed your life, but the woman who learned to be good, to be balanced, to never offend, she came with you. She may not be as present, but she’s still there. In the room every time you go to say something that’s actually yours.

I see this all the time. A woman who has done years of work, completely rebuilt her life, walks in sounding careful, measured, qualifying everything she says. And I’ll stop her and ask: who’s talking right now? Because it’s not the woman who left the marriage. It’s not the woman who started the business. It’s the good girl. Still running the show from a different seat.

Here’s what she does. She makes you sound reasonable when you want to sound certain. She turns every opinion into a question, every boundary into an apology, every piece of work into something safe enough that nobody could possibly object to it.

And the worst part? You’re so used to her being there that you don’t notice her anymore. You just know that everything you create feels a bit flat. A bit beige. A bit like it could have been written by anyone.

The work isn’t getting rid of her. The work is catching the exact moment she takes over, and choosing someone else instead. The one with opinions. The one who swears when she means it. The one who didn’t come this far to spend the next chapter being acceptable.

That version of you is waiting.

If you’re ready to stop letting the good girl write your next chapter, Firestarter is seven days of work designed to help you catch her in the act and choose someone more alive.

Comment FIRE and I’ll send you the link. 🔥 by @iamannabellane

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5 days ago

“Why do you think you can do that?”
That’s the voice that showed up the second I got clear on what I actually wanted.

Not vague goals. Specific outcomes. The version of my life I’ve been too scared to say out loud.

The voice said: maybe you should be more realistic. That’s what other, more capable people achieve. Not you. Best to be conservative. You don’t want to make a fool of yourself and fail.

I used to believe it. Scale back. Choose the smaller goal. Tell myself I was being sensible.

Here’s what I do now:
I sit with it. Ask it what it’s protecting me from. Thank it for keeping me safe.
Then I tell it: adult me has got this. I’ll be fine even if it goes tits up. So I’m doing it anyway.

The voice doesn’t disappear. It can feel scary.
But I can work with scary. I can’t work with small.

I’m running my own Red Dress Energy Experiment right now, making the unconscious conscious and reclaiming the parts of myself I exiled to stay safe.

If you want the prompts I’m using, comment RED DRESS and I’ll send them to you. by @iamannabellane

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9 days ago

I got hyper-clear on what I want. Specific numbers, specific outcomes, the version of my life I’ve been too careful to say out loud.

For about five minutes, it felt expansive.
Then that voice showed up. The one that says I should be more realistic. That other, more capable people get to want that much. Not me.

I used to believe it. Scale back. Choose the smaller goal. Tell myself I was being sensible.

Now I sit with it. Ask it what it’s protecting me from. Thank it for trying to keep me safe.
Then I tell it: adult me has got this. I’ll be fine even if it goes wrong. So I’m doing it anyway.

The voice doesn’t disappear. It still feels scary.
But I can work with scary. I can’t work with small.

I’m running my own Red Dress Energy Experiment right now, making the unconscious conscious and reclaiming the parts of myself I exiled to stay safe.
If you want the prompts I’m using, comment RED DRESS. If you’re ready to do the deeper work, Firestarter is where we start. Link in bio. by @iamannabellane

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10 days ago

The excitement of reinventing your life is easy. New goals, new routines, the fresh start you can feel in your chest. But then comes the moment you actually sit down to do the thing, and suddenly the laundry needs doing, someone needs a lift, there’s a text to answer, anything to avoid doing the uncomfortable work.

Here’s what most people miss. The avoidance isn’t proof you’re not ready. It’s resistance, a clever form of procrastination designed to keep you from looking at what’s actually uncomfortable. And the thing you keep circling? That’s the signal pointing you toward what needs to shift.

So the next time you catch yourself doing everything except the thing that’s yours, sit with the discomfort instead of running from it. That’s where the real work begins, and that’s exactly what we do inside the Red Dress Energy Experiment.

It’s free right now, but it won’t always be.

Comment RED DRESS and I’ll send you the link.

#RedDressEnergyExperiment by @iamannabellane

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11 days ago

The excitement of reinventing your life? Easy!

Vision boards, fresh starts, new routines, that bit feels good.

But then comes the moment you actually sit down to do the thing, and suddenly the laundry needs doing, someone needs a lift, there’s a text to answer, and the afternoon you cleared for yourself quietly belongs to everyone else again.

Here’s what I know. The thing you keep circling, the thing you keep finding reasons not to touch, isn’t proof you’re not ready. It’s a signal. And the work isn’t pushing through the avoidance. It’s sitting with the discomfort long enough to hear what it’s trying to tell you.

That’s not you failing to start. That’s you finally ready to begin.

Comment RED DRESS and I’ll send you the link to the Week 1 prompts of the Red Dress Energy Experiment, where we actually do the work of listening instead of running.

#reddressenergyexperiment by @iamannabellane

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12 days ago

I’ve just lost 700 followers in a week and it’s the best thing that’s happened to me.

Instagram isn’t the problem. It’s the mirror. Dead followers, dead energy, content I don’t recognise, my life’s felt like that too. Going through the motions. Playing it safe. Wondering when the aliveness disappeared.

So between now and December 31st, I’m reclaiming my life. Not just my Instagram. My actual life. I’m calling it The Red Dress Energy Experiment.

This is what I did when I worked as an interior designer. I strip it back. Everything that’s not working has to go. You can’t create space for newness, for gorgeousness, for the version that’s been waiting, until you clear out what’s dead.

This week: getting brutally clear on the story I’ve been telling myself about where I’m at, what’s going wrong, and what I think is or isn’t possible for me. Because that story is running the show.

If you want to do this with me, I’ve put together the exact journal prompts I’ll be using this week. Comment RED DRESS and I’ll send you the PDF.

Join me for part two next week. 💃🏼 by @iamannabellane

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16 days ago

You keep attracting emotionally unavailable men and you think it’s the dating apps, that there’s no decent men left.

Here’s what’s actually happening.

The rule that made you the accommodating wife, the one who kept the peace and made herself easy to love, is still running.

Different man. Same operating system.

That’s why you keep doing all the emotional heavy lifting.
That’s why you keep making yourself smaller so he can stay comfortable.

The work isn’t finding a better man.
The work is becoming the woman who stops choosing unavailability.

Comment TURN and I’ll send my free video that shows you what’s really happening. by @iamannabellane

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17 days ago

You’ve spent a fortune on coaches, rebrands, and courses promising to help you step into your power.

And you’re still undercharging. Still apologising. Still shrinking.

Here’s what’s actually happening.

You’re trying to build a business from the Mother archetype. The one who makes herself smaller so everyone else can be comfortable. Who prioritises everyone else’s needs because asking for what she wants feels selfish.

You changed the business. You didn’t change the woman running it.

The unconscious rule that made you put everyone else’s needs first as a mother? It came with you.

Different life. Same operating system.

That’s why you know what to charge and still send the proposal at half the price.

You hold back on launching your brilliant new idea for fear of being ‘too much’.

The work isn’t another rebrand.

The work is stepping into the Queen. The Entrepreneur. The woman who owns her worth without apology.

She’s been within you all along, but you learned to keep her hidden.

Ready to reclaim her? Comment TURN and I’ll send you the free video showing you how. by @iamannabellane

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18 days ago