Instagram story viewer> @intentionallyvee_> Posts

Victoria | Intentional Parenting & Systems

@intentionallyvee_

26.7K

followers

3207

following

🫶🏾Raising 5 kids solo with systems
📧[email protected]
📍Jacksonville, FL
get your system ⤵️

POSTS STORIES REELS

Mornings do not have to feel like survival mode.

None of this is about being a perfect mom. It is about building a home that works for you, not against you.

Simple systems. Calmer mornings. More of you left over for the rest of the day.

#singlemomlife #raisingthemkids #intentionalparenting #millennialmomlife by @intentionallyvee_

My kids were becoming screen addicts. Meltdowns the second I asked them to put a device down. Ignoring me when I called their name. Bedtime completely off the rails.
I knew I had to do something. So I cut screens during the school week and limited the weekends.

Week one? It was ugly. The tears. The attitude. The “you’re ruining my life.” I almost caved. More than once.

I didn’t take the screens because I had it all figured out. I took them because I was watching my kids lose the ability to just be. To sit. To read. To exist without a device in their hand. They didn’t even know how to be bored.

Now look at her. Reading on her own.

Their nervous systems are calmer. The meltdowns are fewer. They are actually present.
The withdrawal is real. The other side of it is worth every hard moment.

If you’re thinking about it, start now. Not Monday. Not next semester. Everything I used to make this shift in my house with five kids is now available to you.

🔗 Comment “NEED” to grab your Screen Time Reset Kit or Free Activity List. by @intentionallyvee_

Im someone who decided that we needed systems just to breathe.

Over time, those systems became my work, but raising my kids with intention has always been the real mission.

If you’re learning how to parent with more structure, clarity, and connection… welcome. 💛 by @intentionallyvee_

Family is everything to me. 🤍

I go hard as a parent because I want my kids to know what it feels like to belong to people who show up, not just at funerals, but on an ordinary day. I want them to show up for each other when I’m no longer here. by @intentionallyvee_

Co-parenting while you are still healing is hard, and I am here to tell you it gets better.
When I shifted my focus from the failed marriage to being a great mother, my mindset changed.
Keep showing up for your children.
Peace follows. ✨ by @intentionallyvee_

For years, I chased what didn’t chase me back.

The friends who only called when they needed something. The job that praised my loyalty and never made room for my growth. The room where I kept making myself smaller so everyone else could stay comfortable.

I was exhausted, and it took me a long time to realize why. I wasn’t failing at being chosen. I was pouring myself into places that had never chosen me at all.

Now, before I give something my time, my energy, or my heart, I ask three questions:

1️⃣ Do they show up when it costs them something?
2️⃣ Do I leave feeling fuller or emptier?
3️⃣ Am I being met halfway, or am I building the whole bridge alone?

If the answers come with confusion, I have my answer. I don’t chase. I redirect that energy toward the people, places, and things that are already reaching for me.

You are not too much, and you are not hard to love. You may just be standing in rooms that were never built for you.

Choose what chooses you back. 🤍 by @intentionallyvee_

Dating in this generation is wild.

Some people can’t say what they want. Some disappear the moment a conversation gets uncomfortable. Oh, and problem-solving….Apparently that’s an optional skill to have.

I’ve had some beautiful experiences. I’ve also had just as many strange ones. Both taught me something.

What I know now is that I’m not trying to rush this. As a parent, I’m not just choosing for me. by @intentionallyvee_

I never desired single motherhood.
When it came to me, I made a vow not to fumble it.

Some days I get it right, and some days I’m learning in real time. I still SHOW UP, I PAY ATTENTION, and I CHOOSE them every single day. I’m here for the noise, the memories, and the endless giggles. If there is something they want or need that feels to far out of reach I’m going to find a way…by any means necessary.

To the mom who didn’t plan to be a mom and is doing it anyway: you are doing better than you think. 🤍 by @intentionallyvee_

Part of getting my peace back was learning what to put down.

Being strong for so long taught me how to carry everything. It took me even longer to realize how much of it was never mine to carry. Here is what I stopped doing:

🤍 I stopped allowing toxic people who refuse to take accountability for their actions to play a role in my life. Access to me is earned, and I will not keep making room for people who never make room for their own growth.

🤍 I stopped using my authority to control my children. I lead with guidance, not fear. I want them to obey because they trust me, not because they are afraid of me.

🤍 I stopped allowing jobs to exploit my talent when the pay never matches. My gifts have value, and I no longer hand them over in exchange for “exposure” or empty promises.

🤍 I stopped saying “yes” to be more likable. Being liked by everyone cost me my peace. Now my “yes” means something because my “no” is allowed to exist.

🤍 I stopped over-performing to stay in relationships that were never meant for me. If I had to audition for a seat at the table, it was never my table.

I did not lose anything by letting these go. I got my peace back, and I got myself back.

What did you stop doing that changed everything for you?

#singlemomlife #intentionalparenting #raisingthemkids #protectyourpeace #healingjourney by @intentionallyvee_

I used to give everyone access to me: my space, my peace, my reactions. 🤍

Being a single mom taught me that protecting myself is part of protecting my children. Here are the habits that saved me:

🤍 Never moving a man into my children’s space. Their home is their safe place. Anyone who wants access to my life has to earn it slowly, and my children are never a trial run.

🤍 Never letting anyone rage bait me into a reaction. I decide when and how I respond. A calm response is not weakness. It is control, and my peace is not available for provoking.

🤍 Always making time for self care and beauty. Brows done, nails cute, hair clean. It is not vanity. When I look in the mirror and feel like myself, I show up better for everyone who needs me.

🤍 Saying no without a long explanation. “No” is a complete sentence. I stopped over-explaining to people who had already decided not to understand me.

🤍 Sleeping on big decisions. I do not make major moves in my most emotional moments. If it is still right in the morning, it is right.

🤍 Protecting my money like I protect my kids. An emergency fund, even a small one, buys me the freedom to walk away from what is not good for us.

🤍 Keeping the promises I make to myself. If I tell myself I am going to rest, heal, or go after something, I follow through. That is how I rebuilt my self-trust.

🤍 Letting people help me. Strong does not mean alone. I stopped carrying everything quietly and started asking for what I need.

A woman who protects her peace, her children, and herself is not being difficult. She is being intentional.

#singlemomlife #intentionalparenting #raisingthemkids #selfcareformoms #protectyourpeace by @intentionallyvee_

My hair started breaking off, and so did my spirit for a minute. 🤎

I realize that some people will spend all their energy trying to bring you down. On the hard days, you might start to believe them. I’m here to remind you that you are worthy, and taking care of yourself is not vanity. It is how you tell yourself, “You are still that girl!”

Shoutout to my stylist @alnisa_shakeerahhair for bringing me back to life. ✨ by @intentionallyvee_

Single mama to single mama: let them kids be great! 😂 by @intentionallyvee_