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Shoshanna • Anita’s Daughter

@intogrief

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💛 For those carrying deep loss.
🕯️ Expanding the heart through ritual & remembrance.
🫶🏼 Individual & group grief support.
📍 San Diego, CA

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Have you experienced secondary losses in your grief? Comment below👇🏼

The death of a loved one can have a profound impact on an individual’s life, and it often causes secondary losses. People tend to forget about these. Secondary losses refer to the additional changes and losses that occur as a result of the death of a loved one. Here are some common examples of secondary losses associated with the death of a loved one:

👱🏼‍♀️ Loss of identity: When a person loses a loved one, they may feel as if a part of themselves has died as well. This can lead to a loss of identity and a feeling of disconnection from their past and sense of self.
👩🏻‍🤝‍👩🏼 Social losses: The death of a loved one can lead to social losses, such as a loss of friendships or social connections. This is often because the individual can find social interaction physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting, so they decline invites.
💵 Financial losses: If the deceased was a primary breadwinner, the surviving family members might experience financial difficulties due to loss of income.
🔀 Role changes: The death of a loved one can lead to role changes within the family. For example, a child may suddenly become the primary caregiver for a parent, or siblings may have to take on additional responsibilities.
🩺 Health problems: The stress and emotional trauma of losing a loved one can lead to health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and other physical health issues.
💟 Spiritual losses: For individuals who have a strong spiritual or religious connection, the death of a loved one can also lead to spiritual losses, such as a loss of faith or a feeling of disconnection from their higher power.

Secondary losses associated with the death of a loved one can be just as significant and life-altering as the primary loss of the person themselves. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate these additional losses and adapt to life without your loved one.
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#grievingdaughter #grieving #griefandloss #griefsucks #griefawareness #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefshare #goodgrief by @intogrief

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4 years ago

Welcome to ‘into grief.’

A place where we chat all things GRIEF!

It’ll be deep and humourous, sad and joyful, painful and beautiful.

I hope that this page:
🔹Allows you to grieve authentically without judgment.
🔺Offers a deeper understanding of grief.
🔸Delivers compassion.
▫️Makes you feel less alone. by @intogrief

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4 years ago

“How are you?”

Drop a ‘💛’ below👇🏼 if you’ve found this a tricky question to answer in your grieving process.

It seems like a simple enough question, but over the years, it’s become almost rhetorical and vapid at the best of times. People care and want to check in, but this can be a surprisingly triggering question.

After my mum passed, when people asked this question, it frustrated me because how could I be anything other than totally awful and devastated about my loss? My overall state wasn’t changing anytime soon. But, I noticed that adding ‘today,’ ‘right now,’ or ‘this morning’ to the end softened the question as it implies an awareness that grief is a moment-by-moment experience, which is it.

Asking a griever how they’re *really* feeling or how their heart is adds a more sincere element that goes deeper than the standard ‘how are you’ and shows you know this is difficult for them and worthy of a more thoughtful question than one you might ask a random passerby.

In some situations, the griever can’t begin to share what they feel because it’s too much for them even to articulate. Often, a better option is to avoid it entirely and find something else meaningful to reach out to the griever about, which lets them know you care. That’s ultimately the intention behind any interaction. by @intogrief

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4 years ago

“Let me know if you need anything.”

They mean it. They genuinely do. But when you’re grieving, you don’t have the capacity to project-manage your own support system, so nothing happens and everyone waits to be asked.

So here’s a guide you can send instead. No explaining. No asking. Just forward it.

And if someone you love is grieving, read it too. Number 8 is the one most people miss.💛

Save it for when you need it. Send it to the person who keeps offering.

Which one would you add? Tell me below and I’ll make a part two from your answers.

#grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #lifeafterloss #mentalhealth taken in San Diego, California by @intogrief

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a month ago

One of the loneliest parts of grief is always being the person who has to bring them up.

To say their name first. To tell the story first. To risk changing the mood.

There is something deeply loving about the people who remember without being prompted. Who ask. Who tell you a story you haven’t heard in years. Who make it clear that the person you lost still exists in their world too.

Sometimes that is what makes us feel most alive again.

Say their name first. Ask for the story. Remember with us.

#grief #griefjourney #motherlessmothers #griefsupport #angel taken in San Diego, California by @intogrief

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a month ago

For everyone who’s been told “it’s just a pet.”

There’s a specific grief that doesn’t get talked about: losing the animal who was there for every day of another loss. The one who got you out of bed. The one who was in the room for the crying you never did in front of anyone.

When they die, you’re not only losing them. You’re losing the way you got through it, and sometimes you’re losing another link back to the person you were already grieving.

If this is you right now, I’m so sorry. It makes complete sense that it feels this big.

Tell me their name below. I’d love to know them. 🤍

#petloss #grief #petgrief #loss #griefjourney taken in San Diego, California by @intogrief

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a month ago

Mothering a daughter without your own mum is a different journey. Not harder, but heavier.

Because your mum was the person whose existence alone said: you came from somewhere, you belong somewhere, you are someone’s. When she dies, it feels like that goes with her.

Then you have a daughter, and the mother-daughter bond exists again, only now you’re standing on the other side of it.

So you reach for the threads. Her cheeks. Her laugh. The habits that came from you, the ones that came from your mum. Those small moments where you think, there we are.

You hold it all a little tighter, because you know how obliterating it is to lose it.

If this is your life too, I want you to know I see the way your heart reaches backwards and forwards at the same time. Toward the mother you miss. Toward the daughter you’re raising. And everything your heart is carrying in between.

🤍 Tell me one thing your girl does that reminds you of your mum. I’d love to read them.

#grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #motherlessdaughters #girlmom by @intogrief

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2 months ago

Your grief girl is going rogue!!

Words have carried me through things I didn’t think I’d get through. They’ve said what I couldn’t, on days I couldn’t. So I’ve started writing my own. Small ones. Musings, I think, though I’ve never been a writer and it feels funny to claim the word at all.

Fair warning: they are short. Like, blink and you’ll miss them short. Keep your expectations somewhere near the floor.

Perhaps one of them may find you on a day you need it. 💛

#grief #loss #self #poem #journey taken in San Diego, California by @intogrief

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2 months ago

I made myself a promise that I’d never let the pain of losing my Mum grow so big that I couldn’t talk about her.

Keeping that promise took more courage than I expected. Touching your grief, even for a second, asks something enormous of you, and it asks it on the days you have the least to give. So please don’t do it in the wrong hands. Choose the person who won’t rush you towards a silver lining. Choose the room where you’re allowed to say the ugly parts. If that person doesn’t exist yet, a notebook counts. A voice note you never send counts. The car on the way home counts. Simply saying their name out loud counts.

Locking it away has never once bought anybody peace. All it buys is postponement, and grief always comes to collect. It comes back out as isolation, as high functioning depression, as a short fuse with the people you love most, as utter exhaustion.

This is my experience, and it’s what I hear from almost every griever I sit with.

Start smaller than you think. One minute. One person you trust. One page nobody else will ever read.

And I promise you, it will not open you up to losing them all over again. It will help you keep them. 🤍

#grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #love #loss taken in San Diego, California by @intogrief

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2 months ago

🎬 CANCELLED 🎬

#grief #loss #netflix #trend #griefjourney by @intogrief

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3 months ago

Grief doesn’t stay the same shape forever, at least not for me.

In the beginning, mine was a storm I was just in, all the time, no breaks, nothing gentle about it. All I could do was try to survive the day.

But somewhere along the way, letting myself actually feel it instead of outrunning it created a shift. I started having days that felt light again. Small stretches where I felt (almost) like myself. And then out of nowhere, something would crack it back open, and I’d remember it never actually left, it just learned to take a back seat at times. Maybe grief gets tried too.

Seven years into my grief, that’s the truest thing I can tell you, from my experience. It hasn’t been linear. It’s not been a straight line from devastated to healed. For me, it’s felt more like weather (unless you’re in San Diego where it’s always 72F and ☀️ !). Some seasons are calm. Some catch me completely off guard on an ordinary Tuesday.

I know everyone’s grief is different, this is just what mine has looked like. So if you’re early in yours, I want you to know that for me, the storm didn’t stay loud forever. And if you’re further out like me, you probably already know it also never fully goes either.

👇 Drop an emoji for what your grief feels like today. Storm, sea, sunshine, fog…. #grief #griefjourney #loss #griefsupport #grieving taken in San Diego, California by @intogrief

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3 months ago

Grief will either break you or build you.

I’ve spent 7 years learning how to be built by mine instead of broken by it so that I can remember Mum with more smiles than tears and more joy than sadness. I found 5 things that held me when I didn’t think anything could. Maybe these will hold you too.

💛 Lean in. Let it be witnessed. Get active with it. Celebrate them. Rest in it. 💛

If you’re in it right now, I want you to know this isn’t about “moving on.” It’s about learning how to carry who you love and continue that bond.

Save this for the day you need it.
 Share it with someone who’s grieving and feels alone in it.

I’m Shoshanna. I help high-functioning grievers find their way back to themselves and honour their loved one, one piece at a time.
#grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #love #loss by @intogrief

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4 months ago