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ishika

@ishika_mazing

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enjoy these unedited pictures i took of me and my friends in cleveland (thanks in part to brooke’s camcorder) by @ishika_mazing

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6 days ago

special cleveland trip to see our dear netza ❤️ by @ishika_mazing

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a month ago

last couple weeks in new york for some time by @ishika_mazing

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a month ago

second sem junior year was very colorful by @ishika_mazing

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a month ago

throwback to first sem of junior year by @ishika_mazing

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a month ago

never been prouder of a group of people in my life- this qf was extra special. FREQUENCY 4LIFE 💜💜💜💜 by @ishika_mazing

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5 months ago

hi okay so i’ve watched a couple neda weeks go by since i started treatment about four years ago, at the beginning of my senior year of high school. & i haven’t said anything while watching all my treatment friends be so lovingly open about their experiences, because i was too scared to write this mini-essay and make it even realer than it already is. but every time i’ve really wanted to, & i don’t want to let another year pass without doing this for myself.

this first picture was my first room at my first residential stay in March 2022. i could never describe the year and a half that i spent in different levels of treatment in a way that could ever do the experience justice. i met all kinds of people, people i am always & always will be thinking about. i have stories for days and memories that will never leave me. i’ve written a million poems & have still never found the right words. eating disorder treatment saved my life, & it was also the scariest and hardest thing i have ever had to do. but if i hadn’t done it, i wouldn’t be where i am today.

here’s a list of my accomplishments since graduating treatment:
- i finally started college after having to take a year off to continue treatment. huge deal
- i was the lead in a show for the first time ever, & i had the energy to do it 😊
- i was an OL, & was able to help OTHER people with their food problems
- i competed with my acapella group & we won first place!
- I won a 1st place award for a piece i wrote about treatment 🥹
- among MANY other things that would have never happened if i’d let my eating disorder take over.

every day is an accomplishment for me. every day i can’t believe that i am where i am and i’m doing what i’m doing. recovery IS possible. i’m so thankful to be alive, well, & eating. fuck anorexia for convincing me that being small was the only thing that mattered, even more than my life, my personality, my brain, my heart. the version of me that existed in 2021 lived in silence for so long, hiding & stuck with this feeling of shame and guilt. living my life like that was not living at all. remember- you are WAY more than a stupid number. eating disorders die in the light. i love you ❤️ by @ishika_mazing

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5 months ago

happy late ass halloween 🐞 by @ishika_mazing

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8 months ago

SUPER late birthday post but i had the best 22 😊 i’m surrounded by so much love and i will never take it for granted ❤️ by @ishika_mazing

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10 months ago

thank god for overnight shipping! by @ishika_mazing

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a year ago

more summer ☺️ by @ishika_mazing

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a year ago

summer i love summer by @ishika_mazing

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a year ago