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Isul Kim

@isulkim

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Trauma & Kidney Transplant Survivor Thriver
Dog mama. Horsewoman in revival.

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D is For…

Today, on my 6 month kidney transplant anniversary + rebirthday, I am honored (and nervous!) to announce the launch of a collection of my stories entitled “D is For…”. These will be out on rolling release.

Read + Listen to 1st installment:

INTRODUCTION: D IS FOR…DAWNING DESTINY

🔗 Link in bio (linktree)
🌐 storiesbyisul.com

[ excerpts ]

I open with these words on January 24, 2026:

“I am forty-five years old. I am six months old. These are simultaneous truths.”

You see, I was gifted a new life on July 24, 2025, the date of my life-saving kidney transplant and now my newly anointed kidney rebirthday. My infinite, eternal gratitude goes out to my earth angel kidney donor and friend, Spencer. I cannot possibly ever thank him or love him enough. Ever.

But maybe the next best thing I can do is to make the most of this new life to tell the story, and create and share more beyond the story in a kind of eternal epilogue. Or maybe just wholly new volumes, wholly new lives I have yet to live. Because a great story will always compel you to turn the page.

✨

One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned is that the magnitude of what came before you and your journey is at least as equal to the starting point of the greatness of what lies ahead and who you will become. But how big and transformational your life becomes can only proportionally scale according to how far and deep you are willing to search, learn and accept yourself. Also known as karmic balance.

✨

“You are going to help so many people by going through what you’re about to go through. You’re going to do great things,” said a voice on the phone.

This voice belonged to Elisa, one of my best and fiercest friends, and this was her immediate response when in 2022, I called to tell her I was in full kidney failure and about to start dialysis.

I hope I do. These stories are my attempt. This is my dawning destiny.

✨

To all those fighting for their lives against trauma or end-stage kidney disease: First and foremost, find yourself. Then, find your tribe. You will need both. And if you can’t find either – you can find me. I gotchu.

#kidneytransplantsurvivor #kidneytransplantthriver by @isulkim

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10

9 months ago

This isn’t a vacation slideshow flex.

It’s a hunch that became intention. A gamble that became affirmation.

My first year kidney transplant re-birthday to celebrate not just how far I’ve come. But also how far I know I will go from here.

It catapulted me from embryonic vision into the first baby steps of self-manifestation.

I honestly didn’t know if this would work out. Going to Montana on my own, with my big dog Gus in tow. Still just one year in post-transplant recovery.

I had everything in place. My 4Runner to get me there. Stays meticulously booked, routes mapped. Medications well-organized. Emergency safeguards locked in.

I had been re-training at a local desert horse ranch the past several months to get back on the horse, back in the saddle. I got all the right gear, no cowgirl cosplay.

Despite this, I was nervous and anxious during my 2.5 day roadtrip up to Montana.

But, when I arrived, everything fell into place. My hunch was on point. The gamble paid off. From the instant I stepped onto the beautiful, vast, open lands of Sweetgrass Ranch.

I rode horseback nearly 7 hours everyday. On rugged trails. Mounting, dismounting. Walking, trotting, loping. Exploring and swimming with Gus in between rides.

I rediscovered my energy and excitement to be around people, crazies like me, birds of a feather. Breaking bread together every meal. Laughing and crying. Inspiring each other to ride just a little further. Constant gratitude at every little god damn thing.

I joined the ranks of real cattle wranglers. An intuitive skill I didn’t know I possessed.

I rode to higher elevations on my sweet mare, to watch the sunrise. My dawning destiny.

I was secularly baptized on a swimming horse’s back in crystal clear creek waters of Montana.

I loped across wide meadows, loosening my body and unravelling my 3+ year mummification that comes with being bed-ridden and tethered to a machine.

I was healed by horses.

I may have left Montana physically, for now.

But my heart and spirit now know that roots, new and old, are movable, just like mountains.

Because, that is the power of moving forward.

#kidneytransplantthriver #horsesheal #montana #moveforward #grat taken in Big Timber, Montana by @isulkim

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12

2 months ago

Month twelve post kidney transplant independence feels like…

Daily paintings and repaintings of sky rise and fall colors of dusty rose, purple, pink, orange and blue.

Morning walks with time and space to pause and breathe, armored by restful sleep, the ultimate victor after years long battle against insomnia.

My three date palm trees, stalwart and inviting, the towering beacon of my personal oasis.

A shiny new red truck.

Lunar emblems and phases, backed by ancient constellations, returning me to celestial calendar and cadence.

A canine companion’s reminder to look up.

The ocotillo’s fuschia blooms visited by the spirits of our loved ones departed, on the wings of hummingbirds.

Returning to my body, loving its inside and outside, and the almost forgotten feel of cool water on my skin from a first swim after a four-year physical drought.

The Turkey Vulture annual roost in my trees, the auspicious blessings signaling the homecoming that concludes my odyssey.

Giving my adopted rescue dog his best life.

Bursting blooms of vibrant yellow desert wildflowers, in that paradoxical way that only the maelstrom and alchemy of harsh desert extremes can conjure.

Kidney transplant survivor…and thriver.

Happy Self Independence Day to me.

✨✨✨

#kidneytransplantsurvivor #kidneytransplantthriver #gratitude #selfindependence #independenceday taken in Wonder Valley, Twentynine Palms by @isulkim

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7

3 months ago

Organ Transplant PSA

(Originally posted as stories but thought this deserved a reel)

I’ve shared a lot of the amazing, new post-transplant life wins this past 1+ yr. But I also want to share the other side of organ transplant life.

Woke up this morning with a sniffle, due to the extreme cold weather change and sudden temperature drop, out here in the high desert of CA. I immediately went on high alert.

For a normal healthy person, ain’t no thang.

But for a post-kidney transplant patient like myself, it’s cause for concern and escalated caution.

All organ transplant recipients and patients have to take immunosuppressant medication, every day for the rest of their transplanted organ’s life. This daily medication suppresses the body’s immune system, and prevents it from attacking and rejecting what the body considers a foreign object.

Even minor infections and minor colds can escalate and become pretty extreme. Not necessarily fatal to the person, but potentially damaging or even rejecting the transplanted organ, if not taken seriously or monitored.

This is also why transplant patients wear face masks when they go out, especially in enclosed or crowded public places. Why they carry hand sanitizer. It’s basically COVID rules.

So, this is why I do curbside pickup for my groceries now. Why you don’t see me going to your concerts and shows. Why I’ll see you at brunch but only outside, if the tables aren’t too close, and you are aware and let me know of any low threshold risks you might present.

I’m not becoming a recluse. I’m selectively hermiting to protect this precious gift inside my body.

The hard work for a kidney patient never ends. It begins before the transplant, goes on during dialysis, during the transplant and recovery and for the rest of their life.

So please remember that your butterfly wing flap could potentially be a hurricane for an organ transplant recipient.

I love you all, I want to see you all and will always be right there for a safe one-on-one or small (aware) group hang. I’m still me, just immunosuppressed me.

With Gratitude and Love,
Isul

#kidneytransplantthriver #organtransplant #immunosuppressed #giftoflife #gratitude taken in Wonder Valley, CA by @isulkim

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2

3 days ago

Hell season daze to halcyon days.

Libras are not balance. Libras seek balance.

So be patient with Libra season.

She needs the
stops and go’s
highs and lows

To get us to the cool middle of the road.
_________________

Don’t know about you, but the high desert weather really had me going there for a (literal) hot second. The September Equinox dazzled with intense sunset skies, lightning and thunder storms, code-switching cloud patterns.

It told us to open our windows at night, and welcomed us with early morning chill. For a moment.

And then, one last push, one last stubborn stab of “just ‘cuz”. One last burn. Nothing like a flash of extreme before the cool calm to make us appreciate it more.

We’re almost there. Phew.

PS - Been revisiting the Beastie Boys’ psychedelic closing tracks on albums like Paul’s Boutique, Check Your Head, and Ill Communication. Still hits.

#gratitude #libraseason #highdesert #seasonalshift wondervalley taken in Wonder Valley, CA by @isulkim

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3

14 days ago

My forty-sixth revolution around the Sun.

Most would say it’s my birthday.

But my birthday isn’t mine. It belongs to my mom, my Umma.

I was born from her womb. I was borne by her.

Borne, as in carried, transported, supported, endured

It always sounded dissonant to sing “Happy Birthday to You” to me.

So I always sang the song to her on this day.

Because she gave me everything I needed, starting on this day, my day zero

To sing my own tune
To march to the beat of my own drum
To write my own life story.

But, I’ll still eat cake.

Because my Umma bore it all, so that I could have my cake and eat it too.

Happy Birthday to YOU, Mom, my Umma.
___________________

My fourth birthday without my mom, my Umma, walking on this earth. On this day, September 30, I would always say to her, “But it’s not MY birthday, it’s YOUR birthday, because you did all the work to bring me into this world.” And then we’d sing Happy Birthday to each other, cry, and then cry-laugh because we were crying.

Now here I am, forty-six revolutions around the Sun under my belt. My gratitude for being alive began growing exponentially just over a year ago. On July 24, 2025 to be exact. The date of my kidney transplant surgery. And now my new (re)birthday, which I now share with my earth angel kidney donor Spencer @spennymartino , whose own birthday is just a few days before.

I celebrate and honor today, my bio birthday and my angel mom’s day, with nothing but gratitude. The theme of this moment, this season of my life, is untethering. And, freedom. Because that is what my Umma wanted the most for me in life.

I am forever grateful that all that my Umma sacrificed, endured, carried and achieved gifted me with the freedom of choice, love and expression. That I am able to sing, write, ride, listen and commune is a priceless, radical joy. I am thriving.

I truly have it all by this most important measure. I have cake and I am eating it too.

Happy Birthday to YOU, Umma.

This is my 46. 💖

#birthday #gratitude #kidneytransplantthriver #moveforward #untethering by @isulkim

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30

18 days ago

The Wonder Valley skies are leaving it all on the table.

All stops, pulled.

Libra season seeks balance. It brings you there through shifts.

Libra lightning storms are sudden clarity, unexpected disruptions, emotional breakthroughs.

Eight years ago, I came to the high desert a tourist, and left with this same electrifying production bidding me a deceptive farewell, disguised as a lure.

Act I dazzled me.
Act II captivated me.
Act III indoctrinated me.

I bought a house and five acres.

And now, eight years later, the same bolts from Olympus have donned their most flamboyant wardrobe yet.

Trying to keep me in my seat for the encore, while I quietly exit to catch the next show.

______________

Also, can we talk about that Chris Wolstenholme bass line or what? @museband new release bringing me way back to some 2003 Absolution vibes 🖤

#kidneytransplantthriver #untethering #moveforward #lightning #thunder taken in Wonder Valley, Twentynine Palms by @isulkim

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1

19 days ago

Look up.

A eye pi in the sky
The tru(e)man show

We all see the same sun moon stars

But not clouds

Clouds are code switchers
Disappearing ink narrators
Thermal shapeshifters

Reflecting
What i feel
Who I am

In this present moment
________________

When I was maybe fifteen or sixteen years old, I went out with a boy to the Hayden Planetarium inside the Natural History Museum in NYC. The indoor dome screen boasted trippy visuals of lasers and outer space. Pink Floyd, the apropos soundtrack of the night. I was blown away. To this day, I can’t remember the name of the boy I was with, what he looked like, or what we talked about (did we even talk?).

Some thirty years later, here I am looking up at the real thing. Out here from the remote desert of Wonder Valley, there’s a live planetarium show every day and night. Admission is always free. I am always the music selector. I am always breathtakingly blown further away, than I was back then.

And, it has nothing to do with a boy. Or a date. Or a crush. Or the need to be with someone. Or to belong.

Because I’m over here and now, just crushing on myself, belonging to myself, all by myself.

Well, not completely by myself. My dog Gus by my side. And my new magical kidney, Spencer the Honu, on my inside. I’m all set for now.

#kidneytransplantthriver #lookup #bepresent #clouds #selflove taken in Wonder Valley, Twentynine Palms by @isulkim

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0

a month ago

Some people have entitled my life story as “The Many Lives of Isul”. Or referred to me as an international woman of mystery.

It always sounds silly to me. But they’re not completely off the mark

This morning I was in a hodge podge convergence vortex of a few of my wondrous lives lived.

In this fleeting moment you witness, I am…

A former iconic talent wrangler. Now an aspiring horse wrangler.

Reveling in the joy of her favorite boss lady’s new music.

Ivy League educated former signed singer-songwriter band frontwoman now nonprofit operations ninja.

NYC born and raised longtime California convert.

Kidney transplant survivor and thriver, freed from a 3-year dialysis dungeon.

Untethering herself from her remote desert parcel, on which she dances, which was never really hers.

Celebrate who you were. Because who she was is who you are.

And who you are, is who you are becoming.
______________

This first year in post-transplant life has been a rapid ascent to strength, growth, renewal and reaching not only previously peaked summits but new heights. Without a hitch.

But I was inevitably going to hit an obstacle.

I lost sight of my vision for a split second. Life’s triumphs and falls lie on a spectrum, it ebbs and flows. I know this, yet I still wavered, faltered.

The paradoxical thing about my kidney transplant is that feeling this amazing can be a subversive deception. It tucks you in when you’re finally comfortable and safe, because you’re no longer in survival mode.

But as you fall asleep under these warm covers, you forget to stoke the fire that you had worked hard to ignite.

I momentarily lost sight of what I envisioned for my new life. I got sucked back into the capitalistic grind, caught up in the whirlwind of obsolete worries.

So I put on my “It’s Not Over” t-shirt from 2013 when I worked for the queen, Chaka Khan. Then blasted her new album release “Chakzilla”.

And remembered who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming.

All the parts.

And now I’m whole again.
___________

PS - my fave boss lady ever Chaka Khan's new album, Chakzilla!, drops today! Go listen n dance 💃🏻

#kidneytransplantthriver #moveforward #itsnotover #becomingme taken in Wonder Valley, Twentynine Palms by @isulkim

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10

a month ago

Montana Meditation

There’s a reason why they call it
Big Sky Country.

Even when on a high ridge
atop the Crazy Mountains
the skies keep going
forever and beyond.

A horse can carry you to
where the treeline
meets the skyline

A horse
on that line
can be the conduit you seek

Flowing between
grounded hooves on mountain rock
and your head in the celestial arc
of your dreams

A horse doesn’t lie.
She reflect you in that moment

She moves if you are moved.
She stops when you lack direction
She bucks you off when you are angry

So when I am met with reactions
that are projections in disguise
from others

I get back to that tree and sky line
I get back on that horse

I am reminded not to respond
nor react
but instead to reflect

So the horse stays steady
to the cadence of my
regulated emotions

So the horse stays surefooted
that I may keep my head in the clouds

While still moving forward
together.

Unfazed by other
heaven on earth seekers

Whose projected reactions
spook themselves
throw them off

Falling out of line
missing the Big Sky

📷: @withlovelinds_
______________

#kidneytransplantsurvivor #kidneytransplantthriver #horsesheal #montana #bigsky taken in Montana by @isulkim

3

1

a month ago

Respite. Finally.

From the unrelenting high desert inferno that wet the 3 AM bed with sweat.

But my body still wakes up at 4 AM in relict survival mode to beat the heat.

The new cool morning circadian rhythm has only just begun to proselytize.

Seasonal shifts call for desquamation.

Shedding the Mojave snake skins of maxis, bralettes, linen, boy shorts, and tanks.

Replaced by denim and felt. Leather and canvas.

But this new skin isn’t from these parts. Maybe a Prairie rattler, or a Yellow-bellied racer.

The origins don’t matter though. Neither do the earthly weather, climate nor temperatures.

Because this new skin has been growing for a while now.

My armor, my gear for this new next season of my life.

I don’t plan on shedding it any time soon.
___________________

We are finally out of triple digit temps here in Wonder Valley. No more 90° overnight heat even in the dark of night. No more need to wake up at 4am to at least give my dog Gus a fighting chance to run, play ball and exercise in “cool” double digit heat even before sunrise.

This morning, waking up to an almost bracingly cold 68°, I ran back inside to grab my Sweet Grass Ranch denim shirt and felt wide-brim cowgirl hat.

When I put these on, I was teleported right back to that life-changing, life-clarifying time and experience just a couple months back in Montana, healing with horses and a new tribe and new community, from all over the country.

Here, the desert heat has lifted, the season has shifted.

Walking around with this thick denim and felt on my skin, the smell of leather from my booted feet, I realized that my life has also officially shifted too.

These protective materials and textures are another affirmation of my new life and way forward. I am grateful to shed my old, disease-ridden skin, my former invalid uniform. I am grateful to move freely in these new resilient, tough and warming fabrics—much like I am shaping myself going forward.

#kidneytransplantsurvivor #kidneytransplantthriver #horsesheal #sheddingskin #gratitude taken in Wonder Valley, Twentynine Palms by @isulkim

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1

2 months ago

Memorial ride for my mom, my Umma.

Moonrise messages.

Celestial cloud communication.

No one walks alone in grief.

Riding into the sunset isn’t the end.

There is always a sunrise on the other side.

_____________

On August 24. 2023 we laid my mom, my Umma, to rest.

I haven’t been able to truly process her passing since that day of her funeral, as I was fighting for my life against kidney failure.

Now with a successful kidney transplant, this is the first year I have finally begun to feel it all. It has been a year full of tears, unpredictable emotions, immense gratitude and the rebuilding of my strength.

Amidst it all, I have found my renewed life purpose, a return to a dreams deferred, and the most powerful healing yet.

Horses.

Riding them. Being with and around them. Connecting with them. Opening invisible conduits of intuition and empathy.

This memorial sunset ride brought me closer to my mom and her celestial angel presence. It’s indescribable. It’s a gift and I am beyond grateful to have found my way back here after all this time.

Quite simply, everything is just better when on a horse. Let’s ride ✨

#griefjourney #gratitude #horsesheal #kidneytransplantsurivor #kidneytransplantthriver
__________

With gratitude and appreciation to @mvr.joshua.tree for helping me get back on the horse, back in the saddle this past year. And to @skyler_fell for being my trail guide, and just overall inspiring creative human and fellow horse lover. 🙏 taken in Joshua Tree, California by @isulkim

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3

2 months ago