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Marty Thomas

@itsmcmartyfly

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Stay BOLD Stay Inspired™
LLMA™ Founder |
Proud Dad & Lavender Hubby

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Coming out to my 14-year-old daughter was the scariest part of this whole lavender marriage. It took me almost two years after COVID to actually say the words to Londyn and when I finally did, her first question wasn’t about me being gay. It was whether Brandi and I were getting divorced. That moment is in the @trulyshow episode and I still get emotional watching it back. If you’ve ever wondered how a gay dad comes out to his kid while staying married to her straight mom — watch the full doc. Link in bio 🪻
#lavendermarriage #gaydad #comingout #comingouttomykid #straightwife mixedorientationmarriage lgbtqparenting lavenderlife taken in Gilbert, Arizona by @itsmcmartyfly

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6 months ago

Lavender Marriage Questions from the inter-webs. Drop your burning questions. #lavendermarriage #husbandandwife #relationships #couple #gay by @itsmcmartyfly

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10 months ago

"What happens if you meet The One?"

Here's the truth nobody talks about: There isn't just one person who can love you. There's just one version of you who can actually receive love the right way.
My lavender marriage wasn't built on fear it was built on truth. And love that's rooted in honesty can evolve without ending.

If The One shows up? We won't break. We'll just adjust the blueprint.

Have you ever outgrown your definition of "The One"? 👇

#lavendermarriage #relationships #couple #husbandwife #couplegoals by @itsmcmartyfly

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a year ago

Our lavender marriage was never about hiding. It was about authenticity on our own terms.

I didn't come out in my teens or twenties. I came out later, after years and years of silence, always for other people. Decades carrying a version of me that didn't feel real — laughing at jokes that weren't funny, nodding at advice that didn't fit my life, trapped behind a beautiful smile while I was dying inside.

Coming out later saved my life. It wasn't a casual announcement, it was the bravest thing I've ever done. The second bravest was telling my daughter.

It doesn't fit anyone else's box. I love my way. Drop "love my way" in the comments — you are not alone.

#lavendermarriage #lavendermarriages #comingoutlater #40plus #lgbtqmidlife by @itsmcmartyfly

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15 hours ago

"Haven't seen you in a hot minute! Thanks for letting me get on that..."

Car selfie, sunglasses, no agenda. Some days that's the whole post.

#lavendermarriage #lmmalife #40plus #newcreator by @itsmcmartyfly

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19 hours ago

He spent two years afraid to tell his daughter he was gay.

When he finally did, she cried and asked one question:
“Are you guys getting a divorce?”

His answer wasn't what she expected.
Comment TRUTH and we'll send you the full episode when it drops. by @itsmcmartyfly

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2 days ago

The lavender ladies are lined up and waiting — and I can't find enough lavender lads.

I'm gay, I have a wife and a daughter, and apparently that combination means the algorithm won't let me in the door on the gay side of TikTok. Which is a problem, because I posted about my lavender marriage, the lavender ladies went absolutely nuts, and now I've got a long list of them waiting for their gays with no way to reach you.

So tag your people in the comments. Gentlemen, you started this — you can't leave my lavender ladies with the equivalent of blue balls. Lavender lumps. Rude.

#lavendermarriage #lavendermarriages #llmalife #gayhusbandapp #40plus by @itsmcmartyfly

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3 days ago

He was sexually abused at 7. And for years, he believed being gay meant his abuser had won.
What happens when trauma makes you afraid of who you are?

Comment TRUTH and we’ll send you the full episode when it drops. 🩷 by @itsmcmartyfly

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3 days ago

The average US marriage lasts eight years. I'm at 16 — and we're not even sleeping together.

50% of marriages end in divorce. 60% of single adults have stopped looking because they're burned out. Dating apps are slot machines — people don't find partners, they find patterns.

So what if the love of your life isn't a lover at all? What if it's your co-parent, your co-creative partner, your co-dreamer?

This isn't giving up on love. It's building a life that lasts.

Would you watch a whole series on this? And what kind of co would you be looking for?

#lavendermarriage #lavendermarriages #LMMA #40plus #moderndating by @itsmcmartyfly

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3 days ago

I'm not just her plus one. I'm the creative director of the whole damn evening.

While you're busy romanticizing the idea of becoming the gay husband, I'm years deep into this sequel. It's not a fantasy — it's a full-time job with emotional benefits and absolutely no PTO. We married, we live together, we co-parent, we split bills and PTA responsibilities, and we sleep on different floors. She never has to fight me about a jacket that matches her dress — I already did the mood board, the color palette, steamed the dresses, handled our daughter's accessories. I just didn't wrap the gift.

#lavendermarriage #lavendermarriages #gayhusbandapp #LMMA #40plus by @itsmcmartyfly

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4 days ago

No, I didn't accidentally buy rings during a brief moment of heterosexual delirium.

Questions 7 and 8 of the top 10 I get about my lavender marriage. Am I confused? Absolutely — about most things. Just not this one. And what does my family think? They're not around, they're toxic. If they were, they'd just be glad I finally have someone to split the power bill with and pretend to like their cooking.

#lavendermarriage #lavendermarriages #lavenderhaze #40plus #LMMA by @itsmcmartyfly

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4 days ago

Misery loves company — that's the energy I'm getting from most of you.

Gay husbands, straight husbands, whatever your choice is: let's normalize the level of respect Todd treats Julie with. That's the whole point. And somehow that's what makes people angry.

#lavendermarriage #lavendermarriages #LMMA #40plus #relationshipgoals by @itsmcmartyfly

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4 days ago