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jabroni capital

@jabronicap

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The only VC firm that’ll make you laugh | Lead investor in FTX and Theranos | ex-Lehman Brothers | Forbes 30u30

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🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴NORWAY MENTIONED 🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴Who should I rate next?

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Jabroni Capital ™

follow @jabronicap for the funniest VC/tech/startup content

#jabronicapital #jabroni #memes #venturecapital #tech #techmemes #startup #startupmemes
#softwareengineer #siliconvalley
#comedy #funny #sanfrancisco #techie #newyork
#ycombinator #norway #haaland taken in Norway by @jabronicap

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a year ago

I'll treat you better than Garry Tan... 💔

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Jabroni Capital ™

follow @jabronicap for the funniest VC/tech/startup content

#jabronicapital #jabroni #memes #venturecapital #tech #techmemes #startup #startupmemes
#softwareengineer #siliconvalley
#comedy #funny #sanfrancisco #techie #newyork #peterthiel #garrytan #chamath taken in San Francisco, California by @jabronicap

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a year ago

Out of Office - back on Sep 1

I’m currently in Lake Cuomo, letting my slaves run my account while I focus on high-value markets in Europe. Please don't contact me unless you're requesting to join my boat. If the latter applies - please include your age, height, and most recent STD test results.

Ciao,
Jack

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Jabroni Capital ™

follow @jabronicap for the funniest VC/tech/startup content

#jabronicapital #jabroni #memes #venturecapital #tech #techmemes #startup #startupmemes
#softwareengineer #siliconvalley
#comedy #funny #sanfrancisco #techie #newyork #vc #techbro #ycombinator taken in Lake Como, Italy by @jabronicap

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a year ago

I trust you’re all having a good weekend

Jabroni Capital ™️

#beer #alcohol #euromaxx by @jabronicap

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16 hours ago

Babe, I swear I only love you for your money.

I don’t care about your insider knowledge, just the money is enough for me <3

OpenAI is an American artificial intelligence public benefit corporation headquartered in San Francisco, California, led by CEO Sam Altman. It develops "frontier" generative AI models, particularly its generative pre-trained transformer blah blah you thought we were going to use one of those dumb AI captions? No chance. Using AI for writing is punishable by 10 lashings at Jabroni Capital. You don’t actually have to read this but given you’re still here go do something useful for once and follow the funniest (totally real) VC on the internet. Please? I just want my parents to finally say they’re proud of me for once. Thanks.

Jabroni Capital ™️

#openai #ai #siliconvalley #china by @jabronicap

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2 days ago

By that logic I guess it’s time to stop wearing condoms.

Palantir is an American publicly traded company that develops data integration and analytics software. Palantir is headquartered in Miami, Florida, and was founded in 2003 by Peter Thiel, blah blah you thought we were going to use one of those dumb AI captions? No chance. Using AI for writing is punishable by 10 lashings at Jabroni Capital. You don’t actually have to read this but given you’re still here go do something useful for once and follow the funniest (totally real) VC on the internet. Please? I just want my parents to finally say they’re proud of me for once. Thanks.

Jabroni Capital ™️

#palantir #ai #siliconvalley by @jabronicap

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5 days ago

Finding good talent that you can count on is the hardest thing about running a business.

You can’t afford to cut corners.

Which is why, after our multi-step interview process/background check on their families total assets, we always ask the same question:

If we both went to jail, would you give me the top bunk?

The answer people give reveals everything.

#techmemes #workmemes #hr by @jabronicap

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6 days ago

Tech dorks reinventing bedtime stories from first principles.

Where’s Ted when you need him?

Ted Kaczynski , known as the Unabomber, became famous because of his 17-year mail-bombing campaign, his unusual background as a math prodigy, his reclusive lifestyle in the Montana wilderness, and his anti-technology manifesto.
Between 1978 and 1995, he carried out 16 parcel bomb attacks tar blah blah you thought we were going to use one of those dumb AI captions? No chance. Using AI for writing is punishable by 10 lashings at Jabroni Capital. You don’t actually have to read this but given you’re still here go do something useful for once and follow the funniest (totally real) VC on the internet. Please? I just want my parents to finally say they’re proud of me for once. Thanks.

Jabroni Capital ™️

#tech #vc #ai #tedkaczynski by @jabronicap

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9 days ago

Space is cool, right guys?

SpaceX asked lenders for $40 billion and sent them a deal memo. A deal memo is the pitch that tells lenders what their money will pay for. This one was two pages long.

The FT reports that the memo had pictures of outer space and an arrow. Investors say that was all they received.

The arrow pointed out that SpaceX would build data centres "somewhere in the universe".

Good to know they have narrowed it down.

The money is for Nvidia chips. SpaceX wants $10 billion in bank loans and $30 billion in bonds, and Apollo is expected to lead the deal.

One investor asked how anyone could show that memo to an investment committee. Fair question.

If the investment committee likes photos of space they might be lenient.

Elon Musk says SpaceX will build "exclusively on Nvidia" with the new Vera Rubin chips.

SpaceX raised $86 billion in its IPO in June and is now worth more than $2 trillion.

No chance of a bubble.

Cooked up with my adopted father @jabronicap

#techmemes #vcmemes #spacex #startupmemes by @jabronicap

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11 days ago

European data center’s look like places you’d get abducted in while hungover and lost in France.

Mistral Large 4, nicknamed "Le Chonk," is a trillion-parameter open-weight AI model launched by French AI startup Mistral. It is optimized for enterprise tasks like coding Blah blah blah you thought we were going to use one of those dumb AI captions? No chance. Using AI for writing is punishable by 10 lashings at Jabroni Capital. You don’t actually have to read this but given you’re still here go do something useful for once and follow the funniest (totally real) VC on the internet. Please? I just want my parents to finally say they’re proud of me for once. Thanks.

Jabroni Capital ™️

#tech #vc #mistral by @jabronicap

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12 days ago

Instead, he’s locked up in the same prison as Diddy.

Bankman-Fried put roughly $500 million into Anthropic in 2021 for about an 8% stake. If he hadn’t gone to jail, his fund would stand to make over $100 billion from the upcoming IPO. Blah blah blah you thought we were going to use one of those dumb AI captions? No chance. Using AI for writing is punishable by 10 lashings at Jabroni Capital. You don’t actually have to read this but given you’re still here go do something useful for once and follow the funniest (totally real) VC on the internet. Please? I just want my parents to finally say they’re proud of me for once. Thanks.

Jabroni Capital ™️

#tech #vc #anthropic by @jabronicap

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15 days ago

To be honest an advisory board of stuffed animals still sounds like it’d be more useful than 99% of HR departments.

Anthropic is an American artificial intelligence public benefit corporation headquartered in San Francisco, California. Its flagship product is Claude, a series of proprietary large Blah blah blah you thought we were going to use one of those dumb AI captions? No chance. Using AI for writing is punishable by 10 lashings at Jabroni Capital. You don’t actually have to read this but given you’re still here go do something useful for once and follow the funniest (totally real) VC on the internet. Please? I just want my parents to finally say they’re proud of me for once. Thanks.

Jabroni Capital ™️

Follow @jabronicap for the most unhinged VC/tech/startup content

#tech #anthropic #vc by @jabronicap

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17 days ago