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Jesse On Youtube

@jesseonyoutube_

36.3K

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1995

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🏳️‍🌈 🇲🇽 Mpls📍
Suki’s kid. RIP, Mamì 🪽books, culture, & conversations
WIP: STUDDENLY In Love

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As September began, mi mamà (1969-2024) joined mi abuela in the spirit realm (1945-2020). “Three generations!” They’d holler whenever we took a photo or went out. I would pray for invisibility. They’d holler at my embarrassment – We were closer than skin.

I won’t write of grief. Of how the only reason I survived abuela’s death was because I had mi mamà. In addition to burying both of my mothers 4 years apart, 3 close family members died this past year - and a 4th yesterday - I won’t write of grief. Let me tell you about my mothers.

“Suki” Eloisa Loretta was born on Valentine’s Day, 1969. She had two children, Jesse & Jamill.
She loved(!) video games. (Crash Bandakoot esp).
She *loved* gore, thrillers, and true crime.
She was launching a business - Handmade By Suki - when she died. Hand sewn bags – some just for readers.
She’s Linda Belcher and Moira Rose in one person.
She had Dissociative Identity Disorder for 40 years & was the first to speak about it.
Ladybugs came to her when she was sad.
She was one of the first breakdancers in the world.
Water was her element.
Suki was a chef - could recreate a dish after tasting it just once.
She could teach herself anything - she loved youtube and tiktok
As a kid, she told us, “if there’s a drug you want, we try it together.” There was nothing I couldn’t ask her. If anything, i’d beg her to share less lmao

Abuela was ALWAYS(!) cooking and dancing. She loved to sing. & partied like a king.
I came out to her while we watched a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show - & she came out to me.

Thank you for loving our mom. for going out of your way to wish her happy birthday each year and for calling her Mama Bowties. (She LOVED that). She loved y’all. In her honor, we’re planning Suki’s Readathon. If she, or myselves, have touched your life in any way, we hope you’ll join.

🤍Madre y Mamà🤍, we are so proud of you both. Tres generaciones para siempre. 🫂🇲🇽✊🏽 by @jesseonyoutube_

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2 years ago

Can’t thank y’all enough for 4k views on my Secretly Reading A Problematic Author experiment 🧪 📖 It’s only been live for two days—I truly wasn’t expecting such 🐝 buzz. In the video, I decorate the book to hide its identity, but describe the book to you throughout the video and share full details on the scandal that caused me to feel I should not feature the book directly on my page — while still choosing to read it.

I love that I continue to find people who are willing to have nuanced conversations about problematic arts and artists. How do we interact with such materials? How do we as individuals decide where our personal lines are on supporting art from problematic writers?

According to the votes, thus far episode two will feature a very prolific writer that I don’t intend to support publicly. But will I enjoy the book anyway? We will see 👁️

Also this video got me through the 2 year anniversary of my queen passing. Rip MAMA 🪦 you loves my vid experiments and this one is dedicated to u ❤️

#booktube #booktuber #books #bookgrammer #scififantasy by @jesseonyoutube_

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2 days ago

You just witnessed BOOKISH NEWS 🐝📖 ep 1 ‼️🥹

Love making these long form for YT & finally decided to bring my Book Buzz series to ig. For those who like bite sized news or need a hit between my longer episodes 📼 the vids are essentially upcoming books, cover reveals, adaptations etc.

they won’t all be horror focused but you’ll def see a lot of horror book news because of who I am as a person 😂 ✌🏾😈

PS - reading experiment just went live on my channel 📖 in which I read a controversial author entirely in secret 🤫 check my bio or story for the link

#bookstagram #booknews #horrorlover #horrorbookstagram #blackcontentcreator by @jesseonyoutube_

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4 days ago

8 Underrated Black Thriller, Mystery, & Horror Books for October 🎃

all of these books are tea for different reasons! If you prefer less-scary then I’d start with Perilous Graves, Darkest Sky, and Spooks Spies & Private Eyes. If you prefer more scary then pickup The Scourge Between Stars & Where the Reckoning Comes. (The writing, sense of claustrophobia, and atmosphere in them is without peer).

📖 I’m currently reading Jacaranda, Sirens & Muses, and The List. No official Oct TBR yet but very excited to wrap these reads up and figure out what scary books I want to enjoy this month. Let me know there’s anything I def gotta read this month, I’m picking up The Siren by Tomi Adeyemi later today ‼️mad excited, I can use some GOOD dark academia rn. 🧜🏿‍♀️

#blackbookstagram #bookrecs #bookreels #blackauthors #bookstagrammer by @jesseonyoutube_

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11 days ago

@jasknotjaz had me on the FLOOR w this shi 😂

#wlw #lesbian #relatable #blacklesbians #comedy by @jesseonyoutube_

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12 days ago

Book Buzz 🐝 I actually didn't know that COBAB had the biggest YA publishing deal in history?? I do find it interesting that she'd be unwilling to adapt even with non Hollywood studios but sometimes after trauma...ur just done and I can empathize with that.

PS Happy mean girls day 🥳 I'm mostly resting today but trying to read some of Sirens and Muses in honor of October 3rd 🤣 it's what Regina George would want

#tomiadeyemi #bookcommunity #blackbookstagram #authorcommunity #blackcontentcreators taken in Minneapolis, Minnesota by @jesseonyoutube_

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14 days ago

What y'all think of this cover for "the siren"?

🤓 exciting news 🧨 Book Buzz 🐝 is now on ig! Currently recovering from a concussion so Idk if yall getting a full length YT discussion but I def wanted to do a mini book buzz on it here 💯

Personally I'm mad curious about this one and am gonna see if I can get it on pango 👀
#tomiadeyemi #bookstagram #bookreel #blackauthors #blackbooks by @jesseonyoutube_

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14 days ago

Agree 100% that Black folk SHOULDNT be shopping at @target 🎯and I personally have been boycotting for a min. What is also true is we are quick💨 to demand Black folk be pinnacles of morality in a way that is extremely dehumanizing.

Quick to put the responsibility to be the most “just” and the most pure and to always always “know better” and “be better” in a way that hurts Black folks spiritually and mentally.

It’s more so me broadening the topic and adding an “and also” cus I’ve been thinking about this topic of how Black folk are expected to lead the ethical way at all times ‼️ which sounds good on paper until a Black person makes a mistake and is punished 10x worse than ppl making the SAME (or lesser) error.

This reel is more so for NON Black people - when y’all criticize us for doing the same things u see non B folk doing while remaining SILENT 🔇 🤫 when ur white and Latina favs partner w target or support billionaires (hi taylor swift fans) just know ur not being radical. Ur placing more responsibility on Black folk than is fair and it’s racist whether u realize it or not. It’s a form of policing. A racialized example of the Madonna/who*e complex

Again this doesn’t go for Black folk critiquing other black folk tho. Cus Black folk calling each other in is not only precious but a labor of love and I’m always going to protect a Black persons right to do that for their community. These are just additional thoughts 💭

#explorepages #blackcreatives #target #fypge #boycott taken in Minneapolis, Minnesota by @jesseonyoutube_

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16 days ago

💔 😭 🏳️‍🌈 like @ least lemme show u my RF Kuang and Emezi special editions & pretend to care 😭

#bookstagram #reelsofig #lesbian #wlw #blacklesbians taken in Minneapolis, Minnesota by @jesseonyoutube_

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16 days ago

What do y'all do when ur feelings about owning a book change over time? Immediately unhaul OR read it first? 👀

#Booktok #bookishfeatures #booksofig #explorepageًًً #readers taken in Minneapolis, Minnesota by @jesseonyoutube_

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17 days ago

I just wanna read scary, menacing, and unsettling stories in peace ✌🏽 here's a lil collection of some that'll get under your skin, each very different from the last

📚 #bookrecs #bookreel #bookrec #bookstack #blackbookstagram taken in Minneapolis, Minnesota by @jesseonyoutube_

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17 days ago

Like, we BETTER be goin to the BOOKSTORE 😭 #bookstagram #lesbianpride #readinglove #explore #comedyreel by @jesseonyoutube_

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18 days ago