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Jhonnatan

@jh.nnatan

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Abstract Art
Tio vibes since ‘88
Vintage. Bad Selfies. Fashion
ADHD•Music•Design•Coffee
#CancerSurvivor #KUROSKURO
#music #art #men #fashion

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The art world runs on polite institutional rejections; the dating scene runs on disposable exits. Lately, I’m opting out of both. ✨🤌🏼🙅🏽
Another round of grant decisions and residency notifications in the inbox. It’s the trade’s quiet overhead: distilling months of obsession onto paper and sending portfolios into the ether. You learn to wear the rejections like wet gesso—heavy for a second, then absorbed straight into the foundation. It strips away pretense and keeps you making.
Outside the studio, the frequency is familiar: endless digital static, plans that dissolve at the first drop of rain, and everyone scanning the perimeter for an exit. Then, right when you’re bracing for another closed door, life hands you an unscripted sanctuary.
Tucked-away corners of the city. Blunt honesty cutting through my overthinking. Quiet body doubling where simply having another heartbeat next to mine anchors an entire chaotic day. Locked stares across dinner tables, and transparent little interrogations disguised as casual timeline fact-checking.
There’s an electric, almost comical restraint in the air—that gravity of almost, fighting to stay disciplined and letting tension breathe. But the physicalities don’t lie: the loudness of quiet hands, intense light caresses, and an unhurried touch stripping away every defense built between the studio, the room, and the streets.
In a world trained to guard every door, showing up without armor isn’t reckless—it’s the bravest move. Letting go of the blueprint to build a sanctuary in real time. Pulling up a chair when you could easily leave, and choosing to just stay.
Just us, letting the days figure themselves out. (And yes, he definitely eats more now.)
_

#chicagoartist #latinxart #studiopractice #emergingartist #chicagocreatives taken in Logan Square by @jh.nnatan

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15 days ago

Today at the Art Institute, the air didn’t just feel thin—it felt like a vacuum. 🏛️🌑 🌪️

I went in for school, but I walked into a side of myself I wasn’t prepared to face. Somewhere around 7ish, the “weirdness” hit. It wasn’t just a quiet loneliness; it was a physical weight. I felt totally out of body, standing in a crowded room but feeling like I was on a different planet.

*The Weight of the “No”*
Lately, the world feels like a chorus of rejection.
• Ghosted by “old friends” who no longer care.
• A mountain of “no’s” from job applications.
• The Apps: This part is really starting to get to me. The endless, mindless scrolling. The empty, senseless conversations that go nowhere. It’s exhausting to feel so disposable to people who move on without a shred of remorse or real connection. I’ve left - but have come back. And have gone again … the endless loop. (Don’t judge me…) I’ve made a couple of connections worth exploring - but I confess at times I wonder if they think I’m worth it.

Standing there among the art, all that accumulated isolation turned into a deafening internal silence. It was stressful and awkward, and for a second, I really felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.

*Then came Patricia*
But in that intense, lonely void—in that dark side I hadn’t seen before—something shifted. Instead of spiraling, I found a part of me that I’m calling Patricia.

While the world felt like it was closing doors and treating me like a thumbnail to be swiped away, I felt myself holding me together. I felt cuddled and embraced by my own presence, soothing myself back to a reality I could manage. It was the moment I realized that even if I don’t belong in those apps or those old circles, I belong to myself.

*The Silver Lining*
The art validated my style and my vision, even while the atmosphere challenged my spirit. And honestly? Despite the heavy internal weather, I felt extra cute today. The smiles and winks from across the gallery were a nice reminder that real-life energy still hits different.
Still processing. Still healing. Still meeting the man I’m becoming.

Hi Patricia…

___
#TheArtistsMind #ThisIsGrowth (?) #DatingBurnout #ChicagoCreative #ItWasPatricia taken in The Art Institute of Chicago by @jh.nnatan

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5 months ago

There’s a distinct language in how an instrument meets a blank page. Holding this Japanese brush marker as I decided to hold it, required a delicate balance of tension and release, allowing the tool to translate tactile flow into feeling.

The final piece isn’t the focal point; the art lives in the motion. Nothing is mapped out before ink makes contact. Instead, the paper is left to “speak,” intuitively guiding every shift, deciding where a line begins and ultimately rests.

These spontaneous studies are where my synesthesia, physical responses, and intentionality collide. This session was a direct reaction to Nothing Much Has Changed by Daniela Andrade. Working with the audio means occasionally pausing and looping phrases to synthesize the song into a visual frequency, while keeping the overarching energy unbroken. I often revisit these pages later, letting them evolve further.

Documenting this is vital because the process is the work. I’m sharing this not to be an “influencer”—with all respect to them—but because my goal isn’t to dictate your opinion. I just want to share the raw framework, offering a window for you to question and engage with the art on your own terms.

I’m rarely comfortable on camera. You’ll catch me spacing out, lost in the audio, giving in to the dreaded “focus face.” But showing up raw and real is the only way I know how to operate now. It’s how I’ve navigated my cancer journey, and the only authentic way I want to share my creative truth.

Location: Café near DePaul
Music: Yugen by Davide Sammarchi (from Audiio)
____
#ProcessVideo of my #abstractart Line Drawings in ink documenting how my #Synesthesia creates a Visual Synthesis and becomes an Audio Reactive experience to #DanielaAndrade “Nothing Much Has Changed” Follow my Flow State in my #CreativeProcess in Abstract Expressionism taken in Chicago, Illinois by @jh.nnatan

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5 months ago

Here goes nothing:

“Reflection and Silhouette”

By the window…
…Willows caressing heartless widows,
widowers…
…Emotions,
and devotions,
past resentments.

As my life unfolds,
in front,
of what was left behind,
in hindsight,
I see what was never meant to be found,
…Sound.
Though safe I remain,
never unscathed;
tread lightly.
Acid Showers,
in the tears of pain I bathe;
absconded,
of an all too familiar down,
only to be sucked by an abyss-pulling,
vacuum bound.
It’s constant, it’s nonsense,
nonsensically onset
of lethargic offset.

A sigh…
A deep breath…
A slightly moaned hum,
off-key flat and dead.
It’s another year,
another addended amend.

Half right,
Missing 180 of my sight,
Blinded by shadows,
Silhouettes,
And a bright spotlight,
I take centerstage
and perform tonight,
It’s again
Another hey,
another bye,
another day,
another night.

- Me

#poem #reflection #photography #photooftheday #lejhon #poetry #artsy #selfie #art #portrait #silhouette #sol #sun #stairs #empty #life #2021 #blackandwhite #man #top #feels #vibes #fatty #fitness not lol #love #instagood #smile #sad #depressionawareness #copyright by @jh.nnatan

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5 years ago

Life lately has been a masterclass in the “messy middle.” 🌪️🎨

I wanted to give a quick update on the People’s Artist competition with Jhonny Depp. Regardless of how involved I am moving forward, I jumped into this with a clear mission: to stop procrastinating and start finishing. It’s been the push I needed to bridge the gap between “concept” and “tangible,” and my portfolio is finally starting to feel like a solid body of work.

On the physical side, I’m still navigating the “new normal” after surgery. The neuropathy on my right side has been a challenge, but I’m showing up for OT and PT every week. Food is another puzzle—learning what settles, what works, and how to manage portions when the rules feel vague. It’s a learning curve, but I’m getting there.
The social landscape has been… interesting. Meeting incredible new souls, losing some, and dealing with the silence of being ghosted. You can’t keep everyone, even when you fight for them. But the wild part? It’s all fueling my creativity.

I’m practicing the discipline of a creative flow state—trying to build a structure for my work while still leaving room for that lightning-bolt inspiration that hits at 2 AM. From restructuring REFRAMED to diving deeper into arts advocacy, I’m moving toward work that truly matters.
Thanks for being on this journey with me. We keep moving, we keep creating. 🖤✨
___
#CreativeProcess and the #ArtistLife #GastricCancerSurvivor with Neuropathy Recovery REFRAMED now in the Arts Advocacy. My Healing Journey as a #ChicagoArtist … Slow Joy with a Growth Mindset taken in Chicago, Illinois by @jh.nnatan

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5 months ago

Exactly one year ago today—March 24, 2025—the final drop of FLOT chemotherapy hit my veins. I survived the hurricane, but the storm isn’t entirely over.

In this quick teaser, I’m dropping the suit (size Small, by the way!) and talking about the real aftermath: the hair finally growing back stronger, the chemo brain that still fogs my days, the neuropathy gripping my leg, and the daily battle to rebuild life after an 85% gastrectomy.

The full 1-Year Anniversary episode of “Raw and Real” drops later tonight! In it, I hold nothing back. We’re diving into my latest test results, the new waves of symptoms sending me to specialists, the heavy family dynamics, and the intense anxiety that comes with survivorship.

It’s the messy, hopeful middle where real recovery lives.

Stay tuned for the full video tomorrow, and if you’re fighting your own storm right now—you’re not alone. Hit subscribe so you don’t miss the full story!

Special thanks to:
Musician: jiglr
Song: Time

____

#CancerSurvivor #ChemoRecovery #LifeAfterCancer #Neuropathy #Gastrectomy RawAndReal CancerAnniversary PostChemo StomachCancer Survivorship ChemoBrain taken in Chicago, Illinois by @jh.nnatan

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7 months ago

February XXX-Files. 📁🔥

No, really. I’m taking a minute to just appreciate the skin I’m in. Reclaiming my space and finding my fire again is taking some damn real work to get here, but I’m genuinely loving that man looking back in these photos. Scars, extra skin, chemo port, patchy hair, and all— baby I’m cute and a sort of sexy, that I’m finally owning every bit of it. And hey, these duck lips and all, clearly some like it hahaha. 😉

Because it feels so damn good to be seen and to catch those eyes on me lately. I shyly give a smirk back, and I’m so grateful for the flattering attention, because in a long ass while, I was too scared to see anyone look at me. But what’s even more amazing, is the genuine connections I’ve been making with some pretty beautiful people, beautiful in and out.

But the even biggest highlight, though? Meeting an awesome new friend who reminded me that it’s actually safe to put the armor down. “Slowly but surely,” I threw out the dead weight that pulled me down and held me back - they’re not worth it. I’m not too much, just had not met the real people that could hold all of me. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and it might just be my best look yet.

Here’s to evolving, protecting my peace, and looking good doing it. Because what you see is what you get. ✨ Ayeee.
___
#FebruaryDump #SelfLoveJourney #BodyPositivity #MainCharacterEnergy #UnapologeticallyMe by @jh.nnatan

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7 months ago

One year. 365 days since THAT surgery that changed everything.

Exactly one year ago today, in order to have a winning chance of surviving my gastric cancer, I went under for a gastrectomy that was supposed to be “relatively safe.” But as soon as they started, the reality shifted.

My stomach was internally heavily bruised from that first round of aggressive chemo. Then the risks spiked, where the contingency resources for any emergencies were already limited, and the odds of a successful outcome dropped. There was a lot going on in that operating room—and even more going on in my head.

I’ve spent most of my life fighting two demons: the feeling that I’m never enough, and the desperate need to “one-up” everything so the people I love wouldn’t leave. I thought if I was perfect, or better than perfect, I could control the exits.

But this year taught me the hardest lesson of all: just as seasons leave, people can too. If you’ve stayed and helped me through this, man I love you to death.

Lately, it feels like life is just one long string of lessons. Some days are tough. Some days I spiral, wondering if I’m making anyone proud or if I’m doing enough. But then I remember what my psychologist told me: I’m not at the top of the class, but I’m not trailing last. I’m exactly where I need to be.

I am still here. I am trying. And in a world that asks for everything, simply trying is a massive victory.

Here’s to a year of surviving, relearning my body, and finally starting to trust the path I’m on. 🎗️✨

#GastrectomySurvivor #StomachCancerAwareness #OneYearLater #PostOp #RawAndReal #SelfLoveJourney #MentalHealthMatters #CancerWarrior #Thicc #NoMore #WhereDidMyAssGo #CutieWithFlatBooty taken in Chicago, Illinois by @jh.nnatan

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9 months ago

2025 in high contrast. 🎞️🖤

This year taught me that life doesn’t need color to be vibrant. Between the big milestones and the quiet resets, I’ve learned to fall in love with my own magic and set the bar a little higher. I’ve traded the weight of the past for the clarity of the present—relearning my own strength and realizing that “labels” are the least interesting thing about me.

I’m entering 2026 as my own favorite person, mastered the art of being alone without being lonely, and honestly? The view from here is incredible.

I don’t need anyone to make my day anymore—but for the right person, I might just make yours. To the ones who stayed, the ones who left, and the ones I haven’t met yet: keep watching.

The best parts are still unexposed. 😉🥂✨

#MainCharacterEnergy #GlowUp #Evolution #SlowJoy #SelfLoveJourney #Authenticity #MentalHealthMatters #ChicagoCreative #KnowYourWorth #CancerSurvivor #NewYearNewEnergy #Unapologetic #Dzaddy #CowboyPunk #Top #Side #energylandia #MexicanAmerican #YourLover #YourNewFavoritePerson taken in Chicago, Illinois by @jh.nnatan

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10 months ago

Yup. So Lately, life has been “going through it” in a way that’s hard to put into words.

Between navigating the complexities of healing and finding my own independence, it hasn’t always been easy. But honestly? I’ve never felt more like me.
I’m finally at a place where I’m feeling myself—sexy, cute, manly, totes masc (lol), and confident in my own skin. 💅✨ (Cue the Hahas)

It’s a different kind of energy when you start attracting people who actually want to be in your space; people who are excited to see you and are already looking forward to the next time before the current one even ends. Even excited at the idea of spending a potential future with you.

Hell, yeah… we’re all “adulting” and life is heavy, but efforts are being made. And whether that effort is small or a grand gesture, you better believe I see it. I appreciate it wholeheartedly.

I’ve realized that we don’t always know what someone is battling behind the scenes—and I’m the type of man who wants to be there for that. I want to know the real stuff. But I’ve also learned that not everyone wants that, and that’s okay.

The only difference now?
My effort matches yours. I’m protecting my peace and my energy. I’m becoming my own man, falling in love with myself, and making sure my cup is full first. 🥃 Selfish? Oh no baby,… I’m healing myself so I can be there for you when you need me.

Anyway, man have I been enjoying this fit lately! Someone super sexy even tipped their hat at me and smiled. (And yeah, I’ve fully embraced the cowboy era... who knew? 🤠🇲🇽🇺🇸)… oh yeah, but keeping it black, dark, and punk AF.
___
#RawAndReal #SelfLove #GrowthMindset #MexicanAmerican #CowboyEra #Dark #Punk #FitnessJourney #Independence #CancerSurvivor #SettingBoundaries #Side #Top #confidenceissexy #men #mentalhealth #daddyaf #single by @jh.nnatan

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10 months ago

Day 1:
One year ago today, I had my first chemo treatment. 🗓️

This day is such a raw & real reminder of where I’ve been and how much I’ve been fighting. To say it’s been a “real struggle” is an understatement. There are moments of this past year that has felt like pure survival—navigating not just the physical toll, but the mental fog, the anxiety, the depression, and the constant need to learn my new limits. It’s been messy, it’s been painful, and often lonely amidst people.

But here we are! We’re still here,… building, creating. I’m channeling all that fight and fire into the projects that excite me most—like restructuring REFRAMED, returning to art, and kicking off my small but growing online vintage shop. These aren’t just distractions; they’re my roadmap for the future.

This journey taught me to distinguish between who gets me and who doesn’t. My close people? They’re my anchors. Thank you for holding space for the struggle and celebrating the small, slow joys with me.

If you’re in a fight today, please know that your strength is in showing up, even when it hurts, even when it’s imperfect. You’re already winning. Growth is a process, not a switch.
—
Song: 478523 by Silicon Estate

#CancerSurvivor #ChemoAnniversary #GastricCancer #RawandReal #CreativeEntrepreneurship #NewBeginnings #FramedMagazine #REFRAMED #VintageShop #Growth #MentalHealth taken in Chicago, Illinois by @jh.nnatan

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a year ago

What a journey it’s been: I am officially in remission! 🎉

This past chapter of recovery, while certainly challenging in its own right, truly pales in comparison to the immense struggle and grit it took to fight cancer head-on. That experience has fundamentally reframed my entire perspective. A paper cut? A minor inconvenience? Please. My threshold for ‘bitching’ about the small stuff is now practically nonexistent!

Now, the future feels more precious and valuable than ever before. I’m in a new body that’s all mine. Time is not just a timeline to pass; it’s a vibrant, open space I’m eager to fill with purpose, joy, and truly meaningful connections.

I’m talking about genuine, in-person connections with people who are proactively intentional and ready to dive deep. If you’re out there, ready to connect on a real level, let’s make some sparks fly and create something amazing together. This new chapter is all about embracing life fully and authentically!

#Remission #CancerSurvivor #MentalHealthMatters #LifeAfterCancer #IntentionalLiving #ProgressNotPerfection #SelfLoveJourney #SecondChance l #NoMoreComplaints #EmbraceTheFuture #FindingMyWay taken in Chicago, Illinois by @jh.nnatan

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a year ago