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James Ludeau (& Rocco 🐕)

@jludeau

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Rocco's dad! Author of Shit Marfa Taught Me (available on Amazon)/painter/photographer/Vintage turquoise & Ralph Lauren junkie! View my writings @

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We all stand in grief differently. This morning I chose the desert sunlight and gentle meditation. Focused on celebrating the spiritual energy that was my friend Brooke. Hoping that she’s found a higher ground. It was 36 degrees here this morning. Our first really chilly morning. I moved here to be part of the land. To let it change me. It is. We all process trauma in uniquely different ways. 2 of my favorite practices are to whisper my pain to the wind and let it carry it far away. Another is to toss stones into water while speaking painful memories/thoughts out loud. Can also been done on land/forests. It signals to your brain that your pain has been acknowledged and can now be released. As the sun warmed my face, I thought of my friend. Of all the laughter we shared over decades of friendship. I wrapped myself in this vintage hand-knit @poloralphlauren ranch sweater. I’ve had it for years. It’s a security blanket. Paired with vintage @poloralphlauren camouflage fatigues, it’s once again a perfect expression of the old me stepping into the new me. Adorning myself with stones feels spiritual. Turquoise for acknowledgment and protection. Lapis lazuli for third eye energy. Spiny oyster for transformation and adaptability. Alchemy. Metals. All of it coming from the earth. Knowing that we all return to it at some point. This gave me peace this morning. #spiritualjourney #meditationinmotion #desertlife #griefjourney #spiritualhealing P.S. never in my life thought I’d own @crocs but these @pendletonwm ones spoke to me. They’re incredibly comfortable. Been saying yes instead of no. taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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11 hours ago

Brooke. We met in our twenties. We formed a bond that would last decades. A group of friends who did whatever we wanted. We always had each other and each other’s backs. No judgement. Ever. We allowed each other space and time to evolve at our own pace. But we always stayed close. Just a phone call away. My last phone call with you would be this week. Little did I know. Our last words to each other were “I love you.” And we did. And I will. I will keep your memories in my front pocket. I never met anyone as funny as you. Perhaps @andreahrivero ! That’s a close race. And now here we are. Facing the loss of that laughter. That understanding. You were one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I could come to you with anything. Even when I was beat black and blue. You told me to put on my Versace sunglasses and come to brunch, bitch! And we did. And we laughed through it all. Your legacy for me will be your love and your humor. I am sorry that the world got heavier than you could handle at times. A reminder that we should all make an attempt to treat each other with better empathy and more respect. You don’t know how heavy someone’s load is when they smile it all away. Girl, you’re gone. It’s unreal. Unwell. That’s how I feel. You always said to tell the people you love how much you love them. Well, I loved you lots. And every time I look up at this big ol’ New Mexico sky I’ll tell you that in hopes that you hear me. Keep watch over us. If anyone knows we need it, it’s you! My baby! by @jludeau

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a day ago

There is a kind of magic woven into Mexican culture that has long found its way into my life. The beauty, the mystery, the pain and the joy. A history carried in clay, wool, weathered walls, and the hands of those who make things that last beyond themselves.

A vintage red wool poncho from a flea market in El Paso. A clay skull necklace from Oaxaca worn close to my heart. Old things with stories still breathing inside them.

Against a peeling facade, beneath the golden autumnal light of the high desert, I’m reminded how handmade becomes a kind of inheritance. How objects hold memory. How beauty and sorrow have always shared the same doorway.

Somewhere between the old world and this desert, I keep finding pieces of myself I didn’t know I was looking for. #newmexico #mexico #vintagepieces #desertlife #wearwhatyoulove taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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a day ago

Happy 87th Birthday, Ralph Lauren. 🤎 Head to toe @ralphlauren today!
For nearly 50 years, your vision has been woven into the fabric of my life. Your clothes have accompanied me through every iteration of my style evolution — from preppy to equestrian, grunge to army surplus, and now Western wear with Native American influences. Different eras, different versions of myself, but somehow, Ralph Lauren has always been there.
You did more than design clothes. You narrated the American dream for my generation. You gave us a world to step into, a mythology of our own making, where the American West, English country estates, Ivy League campuses, and the romance of the open road could coexist. You understood long before most that style wasn’t simply about what we wore. It was about how we imagined ourselves living.
You created a lifestyle that reached far beyond fashion and touched nearly every corner of modern life. And for those of us who grew up alongside your vision, it became part of our own personal histories.
Fifty years later, I’m still finding new ways to make that world my own. Perhaps that’s the real magic of your influence: it leaves room for reinvention.
Wishing you a beautiful birthday surrounded by the people you love, and many more years of life, inspiration, and imagination.
Thank you for being a part of my story. 🤎
#ralphlauren #americanstyle #styleevolution #ralphlaurenstyle #poloralphlauren taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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3 days ago

Army surplus has been woven into my personal uniform since my teenage years. Some things never leave you. They just find new ways to belong.
An army-green flight suit against the peeling paint of a water pump shed. High desert light. Turquoise skies. Turquoise jewelry. And my newest talisman: a massive thunderbird bolo tie by @kivastepdesign
A powerful Native American symbol.
There’s something about these old utilitarian pieces, their history, their wear, their refusal to be precious, that has always felt like home to me. Maybe style is less about reinvention than remembering. Letting the past selves walk back in, pull up a chair, and meet the person you’re still becoming.
The thunderbird feels especially right here. A symbol to carry into this landscape. A reminder of the things we need to be surrounded by: protection, power, cosmic balance, possibility, the promise of rain.
All my former selves, still here. Just dressed for the desert now. #armysurplus #newmexico #thunderbird #talismans #becoming taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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4 days ago

A year of shedding old skins, crossing new landscapes, and learning to call somewhere else home. Now, beneath the golden spell of a White Sands sunset, I’m finding my footing in this New Mexico life, wrapped in a @doublerl Navajo blanket poncho and the quiet company of my best friend.

Rocco has a way of reminding me that life isn’t always about finding the way forward. Sometimes it’s about stopping long enough to feel the warmth, watch the light change, and be exactly where you are.

After a year of monumental change, there is something sacred about simply being here. Just the two of us, the endless white dunes, and the last light of day.

My best friend. My constant. My reminder to always look toward the light. 🤍 #whitesandsnationalmonument #newmexico #mansbestfriend🐶 #doublerlstyle #ralphlaurenstyle taken in White Sands National Monument by @jludeau

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5 days ago

11 years ago I adopted this beautiful little Black Mouth Cur mix. I wasn’t looking for a dog. But he refused to let me leave that adoption event without him. He’s my constant companion, my greatest teacher and an example of perfectly living in the moment! I love this little boy more than I can put into words! Here’s to our first adoptaversary in New Mexico! Happy birthday, Rocco! #mansbestfriend #adoptaversary #rocco #newmexico #canine taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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6 days ago

From White Sands to Tularosa Falls, Rocco and I had a tremendous day! Early fall weather. Plentiful sunshine! And my best buddy! This will be a day that lives on in my memory until the end! The desert was so good to us today! #mansbestfriend #newmexico #tularosafalls #whitesandsnationalmonument #adventure taken in White Sands National Monument by @jludeau

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7 days ago

There comes a time when you have to shed the old skin. The judgments, the resentment, the burdens of the past. People taking your creative ideas. Like a snake slipping free of what no longer fits, you have to dig deep, get honest, and make room for another version of yourself. One with a little more grace. A little more empathy for others, and for the person you’ve been along the way.

Out here in the high desert, I’m learning that renewal is its own kind of ritual. The land strips things down to their essence. Under this vast sky, even getting dressed feels like a small act of reinvention. Layering the old world with the new. Putting on the clothes that tell a story while learning to release the stories that no longer serve me.

Perhaps that’s the balance. Adorning the outside while doing the hard work within. Shedding skin. Keeping the soul. Becoming. More. Less. Whatever it takes. #becoming #newmexico #ralphlaurenstyle #doublerlstyle #desertlife taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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8 days ago

Tweed like weathered stone, corduroy like sun-warmed earth, and a sarape carrying the colors of the desert at dusk.

@poloralphlauren heritage pieces meet the ancient character of the Sacramento Mountains beneath the golden fall sun. Textures echo the land, colors borrow from the horizon, and old-world craft feels at home in a place shaped by time.

A changing season, a timeless landscape, and a little desert magic. #poloralphlauren #ralphlaurenstyle #rl67 #tweed #sarape taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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10 days ago

Black against turquoise.

Black has always felt like protection to me—the color of night, mystery, ceremony, and the places within ourselves where we go to listen.

Turquoise carries something different. A stone of protection and connection, rooted in the earth and long held as sacred across the Southwest.

Against the sunlight of the high desert, the two become a kind of language.

Darkness and light.
Earth and spirit.
Shadow and sky.

I’m learning that sometimes getting dressed is a testament to who you are. It’s ceremony.

And beneath this enormous New Mexico sky, I’m evolving. Changing like the seasons. Paying attention. #newmexico #nativeamericanjewelry #ralphlaurenstyle #doublerlstyle #southwesternstyle taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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12 days ago

Black HBarC bolero jacket and pants. Black cowboy hat. Timeless. Classic.

Embroidered with the memories of this land.

There comes a time when you stop absorbing the ideas other people have of you. Their definitions. Their expectations. Their version of who you ought to be.

Maybe that’s the outlaw in me.

Not running from anything. Just refusing to be owned by someone else’s idea of who I am.

So I look up instead.

To the enormous desert sky. To the weather moving across it. To the mountains holding their silence.

Somewhere up there, I figure, the answers are written.

And I intend to interpret for myself. In my own style. Free. #newmexico #bolero #hbarc #desert #conchas taken in Alamogordo, New Mexico by @jludeau

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13 days ago