Instagram story viewer> @jsanchezluca> Posts

981

followers

1399

following

what a time to be alive.

POSTS STORIES REELS

if you haven’t danced by the river, i would highly recommend.

the only requirements:
1) be free
2) feel the music
3) give nary a f*ck about how your body looks
✌🏾

#joyoladokun #easycompany #hopeisaheavything
#dancing by @jsanchezluca

gratitude. that’s all i’ve got. just mounds and mounds of gratitude—for this role, for this story, for this show, for these friends, for our little black box-ish theatre.
all of it. ⚖️🎖️🖤

📸: @bestillphotograph
🤳🏾: me
🎭: @fxbgtheatre by @jsanchezluca

brb enjoying the space between where i am and where i’m going ✨ by @jsanchezluca

CW: heavy post, but it ends in joy ☀️
—
last week, my father-in-law—who is now safely at home, resting (🙌🏾)—suffered a serious heart attack. i was the one that drove him and my mother-in-law to the hospital. it was incredibly scary, eye-opening, and emotional as you can imagine. life and plans changed in a matter of minutes.

now, almost a week later, i’m sitting in my hammock by the lake. deliciously wrapped in a blanket of trees. enjoying the breeze and cloud-created shade.

and here’s what i’m noticing:
i am…fuckin’ tired, bro. 😂😮‍💨
body and bone. heavy and hurting.
yes, because of my FIL’s health scare, but also because of all the big and little things in between.

things that are mine and things that are not. things that are valid, real, silly, imagined, misunderstood, right, ignorant, intelligent, genetic, trauma-induced, societal...
the adjectives are infinite.

black people are still being lynched.
we’re out of potato chips and toilet paper.
american healthcare feels more like a disease.
i need to memorize lines for my next show.
the financial, mental, emotional, and spiritual cost of being alive as a queer, non-white, disabled person is so taxing (pun intended) it’s actually hilarious.
we lose access to commercial free prime video in 3 days.
celebrities/artists i really like keep dying, suffering from severe mental illness.

you see what i mean?
it’s all too much.

and yet,
there is poetry! and laughter! and music! and my beautiful wife! and the love of my in-laws! and community theatre! and kind nurses! and dear friends! and movies! and MUSIC! and ice cream! and captain! and butterflies! and and and and
the beauty is infinite.

so, i will persist.
join me?

i love you. keep going. 💕
————-
photo 2: i love that the right words find you when you need them (feat. one of my favorite Christmas presents, from one of my favorite poets (who is also my MIL) @linda.f.falter ❤️)

photo 3: black joy!!!

photo 4: traveling thru laughter, melanin gathered in a room

photo 5: 20 seconds of stillness

photo 6: i exist in love.
i am strong.
i am worthy and deserving of rest. by @jsanchezluca

💭A Mid Week Musing 💭
i’ve been thinking about it a lot, and other than in bed next to my wife, i’m pretty sure that my favorite place to be is outside. i love it, like really love it.
as a result, i’ve been trying to be outside as much as i can this summer—despite the heat, which i, in fact, have never loved.

i’ve been walking and sitting mostly.
trying to just exist in nature.
on grass.
over rocks.
accompanying trees!
by water.
listening to the birds.
tolerating the bugs.
smiling with the sun.
marveling at the animals!!
enjoying the wind.
delighting in it all.
oh, the delicious wild.

that’s where i tend to go when i need to find myself. well, maybe not “find.” it’s not that i’m lost. i just…need to remember. being outside reminds me that i’m apart of and a part of The Whole.

my insignificantly significant human time on this beautiful and dying planet matters.
(continued in comments) by @jsanchezluca

in a world that demands production and speed, i am desperately practicing the art of going slow🐌🌱 by @jsanchezluca

$happy pride!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 there was a time when i didn’t believe i’d get to be “out and proud,” deeply loved, fully supported, or truly celebrated for who i am. and yet…here we are. i’m here. amidst the systemic homophobia, fractured personal + familial relationships, and deep grief, i HAVE to remind myself of how rich my life is. maybe (certainly! lmao) not monetarily, but in love. and isn’t that what pride is about? celebrating love? i love being queer!! i love being married to my wife! i love carrying the vibrant and fierce strength of my Black Queer ancestors! i love spitting in the face of the patriarchy! i love existing despite governmental/religious denial! IT’S A UNIVERSAL GIFT TO BE QUEER! how lucky am i!!! here are some queer moments of joy from may and here’s to experiencing many more in june! ✨🌈🫶🏾 by @jsanchezluca$

“my dear elizabeth, gone forever…” - m. frankenstein
.
.
i’ve said it once, and i will scream it again: I LOVE LIVE THEATRE!!! and i am so, so grateful that i’ve gotten so many opportunities to be on stage recently. i am humbled and honored and happy.

today was our final performance of Frankenstein and i couldn’t be more proud. this story…this show…this role…it’s all so special. i’m going to carry this one with me for years and years to come. i’m so, so grateful.

(there is a lot more i could say, but imma save my tears for therapy on Tuesday ✌🏾😘🥲)

📸: @bestillphotograph by @jsanchezluca

“Into the woods to find there’s hope of getting through the journey…” 🎶

———
thank you. thank you. thank you.
to everyone who supported me along this journey: whether you had a hand in casting me, sent a “break a leg!” text, came to see the show, were IN/A PART OF making this gargantuan production happen, or listened to me yap (excitedly…or otherwise 🤣🤪) about this experience, i really am so grateful for you. 🫶🏾

being in my first musical since 2011 has irrevocably inspired me. (i mean, of ALL the shows (and roles!!!) to reignite my drive to become a better performer???? Into The Woods has spoiled me. stephen & james you brilliant and ridiculous men, you! 😅😤😍)

what a damn gift.

i have loved acting/singing since i was young. oh, man do i feel *alive* when i get to be on stage! …when i graduated high school, i wasn’t sure if i’d get the chance to perform theatrically again. lack of opportunity was a factor, yes, but my biggest block? not believing i was good enough to actually move an audience.

because that’s all i really want. to move people. make them feel. provide some measure of safety and freedom for emotions to be expressed. you know what i mean? if you’re still reading this, i’m sure you can think of a time that you felt a little more safe to cry or laugh in a theatre because of an actor’s performance. it’s such a magical feeling.

i worked really, really hard to bring The Witch to life. and…i can confidently say that people were moved by my performance(s). over the course of 8 shows, i told The Witch’s story in a way that felt both true to me and true to the book. i’m really proud of myself! 🥹

as a black woman in a predominantly white cast, it was particularly important to me to strike a balance between being “a Black woman playing The Witch” and playing “The Witch as a Black woman”.

i often had to ask myself, “who am i doing this for?” for me? for other people? because it’s fun? because art saves lives?

yes. 😌

i struggled with my own intersectionality as i dared to be authentic in rehearsals and on stage…just as i’m struggling while i type this caption. lol…

sigh. how to end this? 🤷🏾‍♀️

i love you. keep going. by @jsanchezluca

i love you. keep going. by @jsanchezluca

2 weeks ago, i was minding my business while walking captain. for whatever reason twice in the same day, 2 older white men accosted me in the way that only 2 older white men can. it was incredibly disorienting and scarier than i want to admit. that evening i cried harder than i have in a while. i startled myself, tbh.

so, ever since then, i’ve been opting to take captain for walks in the woods a lot more. it’s been really good for us both. mind, body, and soul. his canine, mine human. personally, i’ve found these forest filled adventures to be a welcome change of pace. they’ve become a welcomed interruption from the paved side walks & cliche house flags of my usual suburban, boomer-brimmed HOA surroundings. there are far less people in the woods, so there are far less -isms & -obias. ahh, yes. safety. exhale. i love it. i always have.

there’s something about ‘the great outdoors’ that is such sanctuary to me. i’ve known this to be true in more ways than any literal church sanctuary has ever been. and, frankly, that grieves me. it grieves me in a way that i haven’t quite settled on how to explain in a way that feels authentic. to me, at least. but suffice it to say that as someone who went from a former kid who didn’t understand the importance of “church”, to a teen that only felt safe within its walls, to a confused college kid that was told the type of “church” she enjoyed “wasn’t really a church”, to an early twenty-something that “learned to love” the “real church”, to a now 30 year old so traumatized by “The Bride” that i don’t know if i’ll ever go back again, that being in a physical place that ~feels~ like all of the best and most beautiful parts of “church” is complicated…to say the least. (cont. in comments) by @jsanchezluca

i didn’t know i was allowed to be this happy. i love you, melody sánchez-luca, my home.🤍

📸: @createdbyandra by @jsanchezluca

jayna ✌🏾🌈

@jsanchezluca