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KAI

@kaicandothat

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๑ neither cautious nor brave
๑ activities galore 🌀🌱

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happy national latino heritage month 😝 things in my apartment that remind me i am mexican.

i think about my childhood and realize how mexican it was — tamales every christmas. pool days with selena and shakira playing in the background. dancing with my cousins at parties that lasted way too long — i just wish i grew up aware. i suppose that’s part of the mixed race experience! it’s good to know that as an adult, i’m continuing to honor my heritage, even if it’s subconscious.

in the words of jlo, mi gente latino ✊😝 by @kaicandothat

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18 days ago

let’s just say… these last few months have been a BLUR! more updates to come. practicing graphic design in the meantime 🐛

flyer for the green room & rock coffee house. HMU if you need a poster! by @kaicandothat

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2 months ago

⚠️ WARNING: MINOR FLASHING/STROBY EFFECTS!

i had a really bad dream a couple of nights ago so i wrote a poem about it! inspired by recent anxieties and resurfaced memories

“are you there?” - a little poem from me, that I turned into a 3-minute short 🎬

in my dreams, I pray to God
I’m saved time and time again
I’m protected
I’m loved
and he hears me

in my dreams, I am afraid
I’m paralyzed by poltergeists
I’m cursed
I’m haunted
but he hears me

in my dreams, I cry out to him
past the memories in the mirrors
past the figures with no faces
past the doppelgangers that
resemble horrors from a
past life
they are multiplying
they are encroaching
but he hears me

in my dreams, I know he is there
he remembers me and
I remember him
I finally remember him
and he wakes me up

he brings me back to life
with widened eyes
and a blue sunrise
and the nightmares return

in my dreams, I know he is there
but here?

in the darkened halls
in the shallow end
in the empty amphitheater
in the hidden grove behind a building now hollowed out
in my mother’s house
in the orange room with the
disfigured creatures and the
leering paintings on the walls

the devil has a name
he has a mission
he has a light that draws us to him
like moths to a flame
the devil is in my nightmares
in my memories
in my mind
plaguing my heart and
stunting my soul
he has a name to call
a name to fear

he doesn’t hear me
he doesn’t hear my thoughts
he doesn’t hear my pleas

in my dreams, I pray to God
in my nightmares, he watches as the devil
walks the earth and
paints the town
his own personal hellscape
his own sandbox of sorrow
his own playground of pain
where villains can be victors
where children can be chewed on
and spat out
where mothers can be murdered and where lovers can be larcenists of life and liberty
leaving me in languish
leaving us in loss
in my dreams, I pray to God

in my dreams
in my nightmares
he is here
he can hear
fear is here
is he here? by @kaicandothat

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5 months ago

it’s SO easy to feel lonely in your early 20s…

everyone is in a new phase of life, and it’s hard to stay updated when the world is telling us to stay booked and busy ‼️

I’ve been going on more friend dates so I can catch up, stay connected, and be more present :) thankfully, my friend enny likes hosting garden parties so we celebrated strawberry season at her place! 🍓🥂

so far I’ve had 12 friend dates out of my goal of 24 💪 I like quantifying things, and this is a good reminder that I’m actually putting my goals into action :) by @kaicandothat

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6 months ago

I lovveeeee driving BUT I’M BROKE!!

in an effort to save gas, money, and the planet, I’m trying to use public transportation more often 🌍 it’s not like I’m flying private jets everyday, but I think a little conscious effort can go a long way!

I’ve actually really enjoyed my commutes now that I live near train stations and bus stops. I get to work, relax, read, do more hobbies, and honestly sometimes it’s QUICKER than driving. and I know they say LA’s infrastructure isn’t the best but she’s trying!!

and if I can save a pretty penny in the process??? that’s a win for me :) happy earth day 🌎🌱 by @kaicandothat

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6 months ago

I need to stop doomscrolling ‼️

there was a brief period of time where I felt like I forgot who I was! on paper, I had hobbies, jobs, activities, friends and family… but I was so disconnected from MYSELF.

I wasn’t actually doing the things I was interested in… it lowk felt like I was doing a bad job at presenting myself authentically. SO I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 24!!

🌀 24 things I like to do and actually WANT to do, so I can remember to live INTENTIONALLY:
(I felt ambitious and wanted a goal, hence 24)

1. 24 self-care days
2. read 24 books
3. watch 24 new movies
4. listen to 24 new albums in their entirety
5. attend 24 live shows
6. host 24 shows
7. cook 24 new recipes
8. bake 24 new goods
9. try 24 new restaurants
10. try 24 new cafes
11. craft 24 new things
12. share 24 creative projects publicly 💀
13. go on 24 donation trips
14. sell 24 items
15. go on 24 hikes
16. 24 sunrise walks
17. 24 sunset walks
18. 24 solo dates
19. 24 friend dates
20. 24 public transportation days
21. 24 hours of volunteer work
22. save $24K
23. make 24 student loan payments
24. interview 24 people by @kaicandothat

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6 months ago

starting a new account :) I want to share what I’m up to with everyone.

more creation, more community! this is my digital archive ☁️ by @kaicandothat

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6 months ago