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@kanqwu

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🪄 it's my birthday 🪄
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(long vulnerable ramble below)
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i usually never post for my birthday bc my birthday is always kind of a conflicting experience for me.. bc im truthfully terrified of aging, growing older, and the passage of time. but this birthday is kinda important bc it's my 25th. back when i was 19 and suffering at osu.. i basically told myself i was never gonna live to 25 and once i hit 25 it would be over. i kept wasting away thinking of how everything was on an expiration date and time would eventually run out. i had a lot of failures in the past 5 years and for a long time my failures read to me like an indication that i had no future beyond 2025.

but honestly every year that i've been alive after that rough time, i think i've changed a lot. i don't think the me from last year's birthday is the same person as me right now. i meet new people all the time and it's refreshing... bonds are not always permanent, people phase in and out of your life.. i used to mourn the lost closeness i had, but now i don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

i made a vow that i would do more for myself in the coming year. i've focused more on my personal creative projects, my own personal dance growth, putting myself out there and talking to people i wouldn't. i've been acknowledged by people i look up to and have had some very rewarding experiences that i'm truly so honored to have. it's crazy how when you do things bc You want to, you find more fulfillment.

life is so crazy! there's still so much i want to do! so much i want to see!

i don't think the lingering doom in me will leave surrounding the time i should be Allowed to have, but that's what therapy's for 🥴 anyway here's to being 25. i look forward to who i will be at 26, and hope i'll still find new things to be excited and amazed by.

thank you to everyone who made the last year amazing and worthwhile... if you think i'm talking about you, you're probably right!

anyway if u read all this congrats welcome to my twisted mind 🤪 by @kanqwu

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a year ago

📍 YOWCH!
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yahoo new year new hair who's shocked... feeling very shadow the hedgehog core rn (and yet using silvers theme... smh) by @kanqwu

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2 years ago

🍊🍊🍊

so many ppl were actually so accurate guessing my hair 🫣 am i that predictable....

anyway hair was done by the best hairstylist in the world @auberigh thank u for making sure my color was even HAHHA by @kanqwu

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2 years ago

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ blue star ! .｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

honestly wish i could just do this for someone else because im horrible at posing myself .. n editing myself.. just a little experiment !!

nails commissioned from the amazing @superclawz !! by @kanqwu

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2 years ago

💫 otakon 2024 💫

a lot of challenges this year and a lot of struggles on my end that ended up paying off in the end ! very grateful to be on this team for another year that builds me up and makes me feel capable & confident !!

also such an honor to work with mr. moon and have my first attempt interpreting ... not without its challenges but was worthwhile overall 🙆 i also was so preoccupied i hardly took any pics.. snff.. taken in Otakon by @kanqwu

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2 years ago

✨ best way to spend my 24th bday ✨

it was such an honor to see tbz on my birthday 🥹 they performed such an amazing set with songs i've been wanting to see live since 2020.. and they were all such amazing performers !! also so thankful my outfit was able to come together despite my procrastination..

it may sound corny or silly that it was so meaningful to see a little kpop boy group when im approaching a quarter life crisis but i really was so glad i saw them.. this group has one of my biggest inspirations (u were amazing q) and one of my favorite idols (juhaknyeon my beloved) .. while i wasn't able to tell q he was a major influence in performing (got rushed at the end in hi-touch) i was able to tell haknyeon he did a good job earnestly.. and i think that's still a win

don't ask how i felt after they performed walking in time, horizon, and survive the night back to back.. i was never the same..

life may suck but i have my silly kpop boy band to help make the days a little easier.. and it may not be the best use of my time but i still don't really regret investing in it by @kanqwu

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2 years ago

💥 i'mma get it ... DONNNNEE 💥

last photo is me being held hostage by armageddon.... chi is bringing me out of my dance block by getting me to actually film what i learn HAHHA and it's always such an honor to dance with chi hehehehehe,,

expect more dancing from us !! as this is the start of me and chi being roomies 🤭

and check out the cover coming out tomorrow at noon !! see it on my dance account @dubu.dances and also on chi's account!!

📸 : @chi_nicolee by @kanqwu

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2 years ago

✨ chicago concert trip apr 2024 ✨

i love going to chicago... ate so much good food and saw a great show!!

thank u @kaykiyomi_ for yapping with me for like forever & also keeping me awake on drive home

thank u @erininsomnia for making me the COOLEST concert outfit ever !!!!!

i always forget to post to my insta 🤧 maybe i'll post more now taken in Chicago, Illinois by @kanqwu

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2 years ago

yo my bad luck is actually wild

ANYWAY i accidentally added other pics the first time so im reposting .... REGULAR QUARTERLY REIMAGINING OF MYSELF! by @kanqwu

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3 years ago

🌱 me & my pals 🌱

(what secret could he be telling me in the 5th pic...)

📷 : @erininsomnia
thank u 4 enabling me as i ran over to them by @kanqwu

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3 years ago

🎭 tangled up in my lies, i am a PHONY 🎭

me finally not messing up on the day of 🕺🕺 this song was such a labor of love... i am a big fan of Porushi and i have loved her choreos for years... but this is my first time trying to cover her work.. i am quite proud ! tho there is still a long way to go 🙆

(rip the speaker dying at the end tho 😞)
(also when was the last time i posted dancing on this account ...)
(double rip to hakkong getting whiplash on my belt loop)

thank u to @happyharmony.show for putting on the showcase !! it was such a good show 🕺 by @kanqwu

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3 years ago

💞 let's kick it 4 now 💞
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new hair hard launch.... time for my annual rebranding of myself
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📸 : @anya.barrera 🔋 by @kanqwu

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3 years ago