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K A T E F A K E

@kate__fake

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Happy TENTH Birthday to my PRINCE JOKER You and me against the world baby boy! đŸ’™â­ïžđŸ©”đŸ‘‘đŸ€ by @kate__fake
Je suis retournĂ©e Ă  Marseille, j’ai fait du bain de soleil par un jour de vent et j’ai attrapĂ© un coup de soleil qui a donnĂ© Ă  mon visage l’allure d’une tranche de jambon Billy Bear. Un oiseau m’a chiĂ© dessus, je suis allĂ©e voir l’exposition Dormir comme le soleil, qui Ă©tait incroyablement belle, puis un autre oiseau m’a de nouveau chiĂ© dessus. J’ai failli m’évanouir avant d’aller dĂźner au restaurant Limmat, pour ensuite effectuer le retour en force le plus euphorique qui soit au milieu du repas, en devant rĂ©sister Ă  l’envie de parler Ă  tout le monde autour de moi. Je suis allĂ©e Ă  une fĂȘte au ChĂąteau de Ma MĂšre, et sur le chemin du retour, j’ai rĂ©ussi Ă  demander au chauffeur Uber en français quel Ă©tait son parfum de Savon de Marseille prĂ©fĂ©rĂ© et s’il aimait jouer aux Ă©checs. Je n’ai pas montĂ© de poney double. J’y retournerais volontiers. by @kate__fake
silly sober summer by @kate__fake
The “ridiculously early for restaurant reservations” series! đŸœïž by @kate__fake
A month of France avec mes bichettes! Been chatting to lots of people about how hard it is to be funny in another language and realise I have SO far to go because I can’t even order un vin rouge frais et une l’eau without it getting confusing. Got caught up in a supermarchĂ© debate at the tills of a Carrefour in Nice about some red blush Apricots being disguised as Nectarines and couldn’t join in - fumin! One beach, 2 friends and 2 different pebble hauls Sabah The Haul: She didn’t just pick up stones; she collected a beautiful mix of smooth green sea glass and rounded fragments of terracotta tiles and bricks. What it says about her: She’s likely creative, spontaneous, and finds beauty in the unconventional or overlooked. Me The Haul: You picked a stunning collection of “wishing stones”—grey beach pebbles perfectly intersected by crisp white veins of quartz. What it says about you: You appreciate order, clean lines, and subtle complexity. You aren’t easily distracted by shiny objects; you prefer to find deep, striking beauty within the natural order of things. There’s a grounded, calm, and deliberate energy to your collection. Actually had to cull some because my suitcase got too heavy but had already formed emotional bonds. Snuck two extra in my handbag last minute before I left, got pulled up at airport security but they let me through 😇 Did a lot of thinking on these trips and finally learnt how to sunbathe without getting stressed out! đŸ©” Paris//Nice//Marseille by @kate__fake
45 years around the sun Still shining bright â˜€ïžâœšđŸ˜˜ by @kate__fake
My Pisces in the 7th House suggests that I should be careful of a quicky marriage which made me think about my eloping fantasy again
. I never wanted to get married. I thought it was a really fucking stupid idea. Taking a stupid man’s name when you already had a stupid mans name, navigating family that don’t speak to each other in the same room, going along with something that society says you should do. I considered it an outdated notion that never fitted into my life even though I was obsessed with Don’t Tell The Bride TV show and bought every copy of OK Magazine when Katie Price or Kerry Katona married someone new. However, the fantasy of a VEGAS, QUICKIE, ELOPEMENT has always felt intriguing
..the passion, the impulse, the ugly aftermath

and I recently returned to these thoughts. Meeting someone at a party, rolling through, getting too high and accidentally saying I do. I told my boss I had my debut at Fold next weekend and he thought I was DJing and I was like nooooo, debut for dancing. I collect fake fruit and vegetables not records. Anyway it’s record store day and I don’t collect records so I went to try on a wedding dress. Sadly they didn’t have any black ones but NGL, I’m kinda into the veil 😂 Best mate didn’t even question it when I sent her a photo ☠ Scaring men since 1981 âœŒïžđŸ˜˜ by @kate__fake
WOOF WOOF 😇 Happy Valentines You Beautiful People 💘 Today we are celebrating the post ironic foreplay of dating
..
. Hahaa haaaaaaaa ha haaa haaaaa haaaaaa haha haha ha hahahahahaaaaaaa haaaa Ha Ha Haaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaarghhhhh! The Plot ☑ LOVER GIRL đŸ–€ by @kate__fake
I’m stuck in a fucking portal in between 2025 and 2026 I haven’t arrived yet and not sure when I will be getting released đŸ–€ by @kate__fake
Soooo Joker turned NINE yesterday đŸ„č. I took the day off so we could go get tattooed by @bunnystattoos (🙏) to celebrate. They had a lil bond 💘 Then we strutted down Broadway Market in matching outfits (black and beige) đŸ–€đŸ• Popped to @petshoponwheels for a new ball and turkey treat and finished the day with a snuggle on the sofa đŸ„° Happy Birthday Baby Boy! You bring joy, spread love and turn heads wherever you go. I love how you are both proudly nonchalant and sassy as fuck! đŸ«¶ by @kate__fake
Someone said to me before I went “Everyone’s going to Marseille these days. It’s Marseille this, Marseille that” so I’m not gonna bang on about it BUT c’est Marseille bebe! by @kate__fake
Having a lovely summer by @kate__fake

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