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KindIsntWeak

@kindisntweak

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I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to define ourselves by what we’re against. What frustrates us. What we think is wrong. What we wish other people would stop doing.

But I don’t want those things to be what drives me. I’d rather build my life around what I’m for.

I’m for kindness. Connection. Family. Grace. Humor. People trying to understand each other a little better.

Maybe purpose doesn’t always have to be some enormous thing we’re searching for. Maybe sometimes it’s simply deciding what we’re for, and trying to put a little more of that into the world.

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨ by @kindisntweak

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9 days ago

Today, humanity showed up.

Someone close to my daughter got some devastating news last night and suddenly found herself needing to leave the home she shared with someone. She originally just wanted a few people to go with her today so she wouldn’t have to be there alone while she grabbed some of her things.

My daughter asked if Bob would go. Of course he would.

But somewhere between last night and this morning, “let’s help her grab a few things” turned into let’s make sure she never has to come back here again.

I rented her a storage unit. We grabbed our truck and stopped at Home Depot for boxes. And when we pulled up, there had to be ten other cars already there. People just kept showing up.

Everybody went to work. Boxes were packed. Furniture was moved. Someone brought water for everyone. Someone else showed up with sandwiches. Someone brought bagels. Nobody needed to be asked. Nobody seemed concerned about how much of their day it was going to take. They just saw someone they cared about hurting and thought, Okay. What can I do?

And I stood there watching all of it feeling incredibly emotional.

I’ve gone through some pretty shitty things in my own life, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever experienced people rallying around me quite like that. I was heartbroken for this young woman because of what brought all of us there, but at the same time, I was so happy for her. What an incredible thing to discover, on one of your worst days, that you have this many people willing to show up for you.

And as a mom, there was another part that got me. These are my daughter’s people. This is the community she’s surrounded herself with. These are the people who will apparently drop what they’re doing, bring a truck, carry a dresser, pack a box and say, We’ve got you.

There are plenty of days when I look around and wonder what the hell happened to humanity.

Today, humanity showed up.

And it was absolutely beautiful. ❤️

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨ by @kindisntweak

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11 days ago

Oops, I do this too! 🤷🏻‍♀️ by @kindisntweak

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16 days ago

by @kindisntweak

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16 days ago

This picture means more to us than it might seem. 💛

These are our moms.

Two women who, by all the usual definitions, had no reason to become part of the same family. And yet here they are, together, celebrating Wives in Law with us.

One of the greatest gifts of choosing friendship over rivalry was something we never could have anticipated: our families grew too. Parents, siblings, children and grandchildren became connected in ways that never would have happened if we had decided there had to be sides.

Our story started with two women who could have simply tolerated one another for the sake of the children. Instead, somewhere along the way, we became family—and so did the people we love.

Looking at this picture of our moms at our book launch, that feels pretty special. ❤️

Sometimes when you stop drawing lines around family, you discover there’s room for a whole lot more love inside.

Wives in Law: A Story of Unexpected Friendship by @kindisntweak

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16 days ago

Give me an actual emergency and somehow I become calm, rational and completely capable.

But make me press 1, then 3, then 2, then tell me to “briefly describe what you’re calling about” only to hear “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that”…

All bets are off. 😂

Apparently my nervous system can handle a crisis. It just cannot handle trying to reach customer service.

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨ by @kindisntweak

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17 days ago

I spent a lot of years saying yes before I ever stopped to ask myself whether I actually wanted to.

The funny thing is, most of the time nobody was forcing me to do anything. I was creating the obligation in my own head, and then wondering why I felt stressed or resentful.

I’m learning that kindness works a whole lot better when I remember I have choices too.

A request is just a request. ❤️

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨ by @kindisntweak

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17 days ago

Anyone else? This is so me ha! 😏 by @kindisntweak

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17 days ago

My beautiful daughter gave me these bracelets, and I haven’t wanted to take them off. “Grammy” is my favorite name, and “Kind Isn’t Weak” is something I believe with my whole heart. She knew exactly what would make me smile. 💗

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨ by @kindisntweak

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18 days ago

If one moment could tell the whole story…

At our Wives in Law book launch, my daughter Danielle stood up to say a few words. She talked about some of the harder years our family has been through and how, during one of the most painful periods of our lives, Andrea and I leaned into each other instead of pulling apart.

Then she got choked up.

She talked about the loss she feels from having a sister who has chosen not to be part of our family anymore. And then she looked at Andrea’s two daughters and said how grateful she was that, through this very unconventional family we somehow built, she had gained two more sisters.

Before she could really even finish, both girls got up from their seats, walked to the front of the room and wrapped their arms around her.

Nobody planned it. Nobody prompted them. It just happened.

And watching the three of them standing there together, I remember thinking, this is it. This is why we did this.

Andrea and I didn’t become friends because it was expected of us. There really wasn’t a roadmap for any of this. We just kept choosing, sometimes imperfectly, to put kindness ahead of competition and family ahead of all the reasons it might have been easier to keep our distance.

And somehow, all these years later, that choice became this.

Three young women standing together as sisters.

Whatever happens with this book from here, that one moment made every bit of it worth it.

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨

@wivesinlawofficial by @kindisntweak

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18 days ago

I used to think being the bigger person meant staying in the conversation, explaining myself better, or finding exactly the right words to make someone understand.

I’m learning that sometimes the most mature thing I can do is recognize when I’m no longer going to say anything useful and just walk away.

Not because I don’t have more to say. Trust me, I have plenty. 😂

Sometimes leaving is how I make sure I still like myself tomorrow.

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨ by @kindisntweak

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19 days ago

Have you ever been genuinely hurt or angry with someone and somehow ended up worrying about hurting their feelings?

I’m learning that anger and cruelty are two very different things. I can be angry. I can say what isn’t okay. I can stop putting up with someone’s crap. None of that requires me to become cruel just because someone else hurt me.

I can stay who I am and still hold my line.

Stay kind. Look up. 🌙✨ by @kindisntweak

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20 days ago