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Sioux, Cheyenne, Arapahoe

@lawlessnative

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These are the memoirs of a geisha 🥰

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HAPPY FOURTH EVERYONE!!! 🇺🇸🏴‍☠️

They light the sky
to celebrate freedom
I watch the same explosions
and remember
This land knew our names
before it knew theirs
The rivers still whisper
in the language they tried to bury
The mountains remember our footsteps
even if the history books do not
Tonight they wave their flags
I raise my eyes
to the smoke
and think of all the fires
that came before these
Villages
languages
songs
children
Still
I am here
My heartbeat
is older than their anthem
Older than their borders
You can celebrate your independence
I celebrate our survival
Because every sunrise
over stolen ground
still finds us
standing by @lawlessnative

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3 months ago

by @lawlessnative

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2

10 years ago

My therapists and psychologist thinks I should paint while I’m feeling down. That people can relate to my pain. But I don’t want people to feel my pain. I don’t want anymore pain in the world. If anything I want to put more colors and love into the world. I want to be able to take all the pain I’ve felt here and turn it into beauty. That’s what I’m after. by @lawlessnative

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6 years ago

I can’t be your option
Someone you call when you’re lonely
A familiar voice in the darkness
A temporary cure for being lonely.
I won’t be the place you run to
When everyone else lets you down
The heart you keep on standby
While you search for something better around.
I want to be wanted,
Not needed when the nights get cold.
I want a love that chooses me
Not a hand that reaches when it’s alone.
So call me selfish, call me bitter
Say I’m asking for too much.
But I’ve spent too many years
Mistaking loneliness for love.
I can survive without you.
What I can’t do anymore
Is keep breaking my own heart
Just to keep a place in yours. by @lawlessnative

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13 hours ago

I watch as the raindrops fall to the ground
I pause time
and write your name on each one
Then I let the storm continue
I watch them hit the pavement
and vanish
like they were never here at all
you begin to vanish from my heart
the same as the raindrops by @lawlessnative

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2 days ago

The tacos don’t taste like pain anymore
they taste like loneliness
a flavor I know all too well
a familiar kind of empty
the kind that doesn’t ask questions
or remind me of you
I’ve grown comfortable with the ache
learned to swallow it without a drink
learned to sit with the silence
without wondering what you think
and maybe that’s the saddest part
I’m finally learning how to live
in a world where you don’t exist for me
I have a chance to forget you
and for once
I’m not going to romanticize the suffering
I’m going to take this chance and forget
even if loneliness
is all that I have left to call home by @lawlessnative

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4 days ago

If you’re gonna leave then go
but please don’t look back for me
don’t come haunting my sleep
when you’re the reason I don’t dream
don’t whisper that you miss me
when you left me fucking empty
I’ll bury every part of me
that still remembers your name
and let the dirt keep the secrets
of the love that died in vain
so if you’re gonna leave then go
and let the darkness have its way
just don’t come looking for love
when you’re the one who walked away by @lawlessnative

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8 days ago

I saw you love him and something inside me broke that I didn’t know could break.
I wanted to be happy for you. I swear I did.
But jealousy is a beautiful disease, it makes monsters out of lonely men and poets out of the damned. So let him hold you. Let him kiss you. Let him believe he’s the one who finally teaches your heart to stay. I hope you love him so deeply it scares you. And God, I hope it burns. Not because I hate you, because I loved you enough to lose my mind when you stopped loving me. I still dream about you like my heart never got the message. And that’s the cruelest part, you found someone new while I’m still standing in the ruins of us, wondering how someone I would have died for could become someone
I have to survive.

💔

I love and miss you and if you’re seeing this…please leave me alone. by @lawlessnative

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10 days ago

I am here. Just not there. I stopped posting because I am angry. I used to give my words away almost every day and you were always there
liking them
reading them
telling me what you thought.
Now you’re gone.
So this is my revenge on life
I will keep my poems to myself.
I will hide my colors.
I will lock my words away
and let the world wonder
where the hell I went.
Because I am still here.
I’m just not giving
this world
anything beautiful
for a while. by @lawlessnative

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18 days ago

💔 by @lawlessnative

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19 days ago

I hate Fridays now.
They used to belong to us
Mario and me
a pool table
well tequila and whiskey
Parliaments burning between games
and enough shit talking
to make the whole night disappear
We always had plans
Even if we didn’t know what they were yet
we had plans
Now Friday comes
and my phone doesn’t have you
No
“where you at?”
No pool
No arguing over who got lucky
No Mario
And that’s the part
I still can’t fucking understand
how someone can be here
every Friday
until suddenly
they’re nowhere
I would give anything
for one more stupid night
One more game
One more cigarette
One more drink
with that loud motherfucker
talking shit across the table
I didn’t know
those were the nights
I was going to miss
for the rest of my life
I just thought
there would be another Friday by @lawlessnative

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a month ago

The sun chases me to sleep, I return to my dreams to weep. I belong to the moon and stars, To broken hearts and dive bars. Lonely souls disappear on Neptune, I’ll be back never soon.

I really hate this gel pen btw 🛸 by @lawlessnative

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a month ago