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Heleni Pahulu

@lenzzz94

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🇹🇴
Texas🌱Bay Area🌳
Mind right, heart fat, body healthy
Long Live my Loved ones🕊️

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Summer 26’ you owe me nothing! A summer very much needed & deserved☀️ by @lenzzz94

Last year shortly after my Dad passed Lina checked into the Stanford hospital in critical condition. 10 years she had been sick with an auto immune disease that affected her liver & last year she almost succumbed to that disease. She was so weak and tired of fighting the same draining battle my girl was really bout to widow my soul! And honestly? I didn’t blame her. Seeing her go through the same stages/pain my Dad went through at the end of his life I really said to God, “If that’s what it takes for her to be pain free…I’ll sit with her till the end too.” Heart already broken, spirit very humbled & contrite. I was ready to accept the worst of the worst. BUT, I also knew…Lina’s one of God’s most FAVORITE girls. As tired as she was her spirit still strong & heart even stronger, she fought hell (literally) & high water and made it out the other side. No surprise to me.

For the rest of my life, HER LIFE, will be one of thee most miraculous things I’ll ever get to witness. Thanks for fighting Sista. Thanks for staying (even tho we both wanted to go🥴🤣). Thanks for getting so close to Heaven that you were able to get confirmation that THIS BOND, this sisterhood between me & you?! Was MOST DEFINITELY meant to be🤞🏾To more burgers, Godly side quests, DD shenanigans, nature adventures, spiritual building, in the car windows down music blasting, friends supporting friends supporting family, & travels! To more life Sista! Happy 31st Birthday💛

I love you! by @lenzzz94

Follow the stars,
Follow your heart,
Meet me in
OREGON PACIFIC NORTHWEST!

- Silver Falls: 10 waterfalls in an 8.6mi loop & we saw 9 of them! (10 was blocked off for construction)
- Multnomah Falls: Oregon’s tallest waterfall at 620ft
- Columbia River Gorge: 80mi long canyon on the Oregon/Washington border
- Portland Temple: The 42nd temple built
- Canon Beach: In the Pacific North coast famous for its Hay$tack rocks🤘🏽

Out of all of the places I’ve been to so far Oregon is def in the top 5 for most beautiful views/scenery. I’d like to think it’s a lot like what the Garden of Eden was; luscious and bountiful! Blessed to have seen some of God’s most beautiful artwork up close🫶🏽
#Oregon #PNW #Hiking #Waterfalls #girlstrip👯‍♀️ by @lenzzz94

See! Not too shabby of a start 32😎

I just wanna thank my Pahulu family for hosting me while on this trip (honorary mention to bro Inga). I know my Dad was so happy I spent time with you all, I could feel his spirit everywhere I went in NZ.🥹Found a place that felt like a home away from home & I’m forever thankful! To my same name, I love you forever & a day Aunty Helen💕Needless to say I’ll def be back for another round!🇳🇿Ofas to you all!
#Liveyourlife by @lenzzz94

Started 2025 with adventures/travels & wanted to end it like that. Me & my twin took on The Big Apple to ring in 2026🎉

Even though I’m going into the new year with a grieving heart, it’s still a grateful one nonetheless🤞🏽To more effort in making memories because one day that’s all that’ll be left behind. When you know how to hustle that money will circle back😉FOR THE MEMS!
Happy New Year family & friends, I love y’all🖤 by @lenzzz94

At the end of my Dads mortal journey it sounds weird but I felt a lot like his grim reaper. Not in the way he saw death when he saw me but, in the way we literally accompanied him on the painful journey to its door. What a hard noble job the angel of death has.
We knew we couldn’t prevent the inevitable so we did all we could do…be there. And no one talks about how HARD it is to be there. But you stfu & show up anyway because it’s not about you. And even though being there broke my heart into a million pieces it made more space to create a bigger, more understanding, heart once put back together.
That my friends is the Charity of Christ. Doing for others when inherently doesn’t do for you. Charity, for me, was the hardest Christlike attribute to understand until it came to taking care of my Dad. I am a very sympathetic/empathetic person but before all this it was to a point. I had my boundaries all setup cuz foolishly I didn’t think everyone deserved that from me, even my own Dad sometimes. Lol So foolish, could you imagine Christ having the same selfish boundaries? Heavenly Father taught me that these prideful boundaries I put up were what was preventing me to feel. Lack of feeling brought lack of understanding. Lack of understanding brought frustration & anger. Those 2 feelings together can lead to a lot of things that make it all harder. The last thing I needed was for it to be harder. So I let the feelings takeover. Sat in it…still sitting in it, just at a different phase now.
Grateful to be aware of what I’m sitting in & why; love that’s why. “Charity is the pure love of Christ”, & I’m grateful I’ve been able to achieve & experience pure charity at least once in my life. S/o to you Dad. Teaching me till the very end even when you couldn’t talk, the most valuable lesson I’ve learned in life so far. Happy 1 month in heaven to my OG.
I love you❤️ by @lenzzz94

One of the last times I picked my Dad up from dialysis Isa & Tee came w/ me. They helped me bring him home & put him in bed. He was so out of it he didn’t even know they were there. I said, “Dad! Look who’s here!” He opened his eyes saw Tee, smiled, & weakly said “hey girl”. I said, “Isa’s here too Dad” & he looked at Isa, smiled, & fell back asleep. We went to the living room & cried together for over an hour.
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I was heading home from work the morning I knew it was going to be his last full day here on earth. I had an emotional breakdown while driving on the bridge & SOS txtd Lina. Her & Mia took me to breakfast then came & sat in my Dads hospital room watching him while I took a nap. After I woke up they came to help look at a venue for his celebration of life.
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Being in the house the day he passed was unsettling to my spirit because I knew he wasn’t coming home. Family was coming by to visit but I didn’t want to be there. We ended up at my Unga sister’s apt that night & not even 10mins in my restless spirit found solace & my body rested for the first time in the last 24hrs.
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Preparation week Suli met up with us in Fremont to help unload a truck full of my Dads dialysis equipment into the center. When we finished she gave me an envelope that helped my account out the negative after funeral expenses. The next day Maile & Lina came over with bins & helped me clean out & organize his room. I could’ve never did that alone.
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Not 1, not 2, but 3. My closest friends, sisters, & confidants came with 3 different halas for my Dads funeral. My Mom was so touched & siblings so surprised & proud of the kind of friends their sister has. MY. GIRLS. CAME. THROUGH! It’s not about the gifts but the representation. The love. The respect.
I’ll forever remember it & forever be grateful that I have it. I love yall & know I got yall the same every time🤞
Thank you💗 by @lenzzz94

Mom🩷
I picked her up from the airport & we got to talking about Dad & I started showing her videos I have of him. She was quietly crying & said, “I didn’t think I was going to miss him this much”. We’ve been trying to prepare ourselves as long as he’s been sick (a whole decade) but, no amount of time can prepare you for a life without someone you love more than life itself. She worked herself raw to keep him alive. She was the reason he stayed alive that long to be honest. Appointments, medications, nurse trainings, at home dialysis, overnight hospital stays you name it she did it. And that was just the last decade of his life. We could write volumes about the first 46yrs & still, I doubt we’d be able to capture all the details of their love & dedication to each other.

Trying to convince her to let go at the end was so hard I almost feel guilty when I see her sadness now😓But we’ll get through Mom I promise🤞she’s never really lived for herself before. She’s always had someone to take care of. I’m excited to see her in this era tbh🥹
But before we close this chapter, THANK YOU MOM🩷
We love you & Dad loves you most! by @lenzzz94

Growing up we fought, A LOT, & our Dad would always say “no one’s gonna be there for you or love you like your sister”. Then he’d turn to her & say “wherever you go you take her this is your tail! Nobody’s gonna look after your back like your tail”. And if there was anything the old man was right about, it was that. There is no one else I could or would do this with but, with my sister. Thank you for showing up when I couldn’t, showing me how to even when you didn’t have anyone to show you, & knowing because you were there. There’s a lot they don’t know…but we do. And I’m grateful to share that with you. We did right by him till the very end sister. Thank you, I love you💕 by @lenzzz94

“No need to forgive, no need to forget; I know your mistakes & you know mine. While you’re sleeping I’ll try to make you proud so Daddy won’t you just close your eyes? Don’t be afraid, it’s my turn to chase the monsters away”

He wouldn’t go until all his boys came to see him one last time. He really wanted that reassurance that everything was going to be ok when he left, & they came. Not only did they reassure him while he was here but they stood on it & took care of everything when he was gone. I want to say THANK YOU to my brothers for being the sons that Mom & Dad needed when it really counted. And to the son that received him on the other side? Thank you the most. We all know when Dad finally closed his eyes your face was the first one he saw to come & take him home. Enjoy your 1 on 1 time with him Brucey he needed that more than you know🤍 by @lenzzz94

South Korea Dump 🇰🇷
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“Stay locked in with YOURSELF! Happy 31st Heleni”🩵 This year my New Year’s resolution was “just do it”. Do it scared, do it alone, do it tired; JUST DO IT. My first solo international trip was a result of that resolution. I learned a lot about myself & even more grew an appreciation of the woman I’ve become. Got a ways to go but overall we’re doing alright. And now? Now is the time to see just how beautiful the world that God created really is. To many more dreams in foreign lands🌙🌸 by @lenzzz94

From the 2024 Vault💰 by @lenzzz94