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༺ ȶ𝔥ค𝔦 • 𝔏น ༻

@littleom

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thai • lu
় 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔭𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔞𝔩 𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕪𝕤𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕤 ় www.sensiskins.com
venmo: SensiSkins • cashapp: $sensiSkins • @sickinquarters  1/2 of @funkyforest_ 

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 perpetual chrysalis  2024
@murmurs.la @gabrielledatau ty for giving my bubble a safe place to land 🎐

it feels like a mirage, that it ever even happened. but it felt surreally so real too. followed by, swallowed by fervent fevers and incessant infections. banished back to bed•bubble.

suppression as survival mechanism

still mourning the empty estuaries of two parts of my heart who knew my suffering so intimately despite my existential erasure. i never thot they would beat me to it. and now who will remember me and how i sat in this oyster for 5 endless years? protecting a pearl, pretending to be “girl”

started my bleeding cycle yesterday. 🌡️🪫🔺📈 my body boiled in insomnia. the palpable pulse of payne is immeasurable.

its hard enough being nonverbal in this world, without the overlapping noise of multiple other chronic illnesses.

sometimes there is so much memory/data/visuals to upload, but if my brain is unable to process complex audio/text input or respond with verbal output in that moment, i may not remember how to ask for what i need, until it’s too late. this leads to fried mainframe, system crash, reboot, and a mystery how much i’ll be able to recover.

i learned so young to devour my words and my self, to be consumable. bc asking for help results in shame and abandonment. but they never acknowledge that not asking leads to extinction.

the anniversaries of agony are back. i’ll be crystallizing thru the end of the year. the flames lick my bones, reminding me of recurrences of assaults that had nothing/everything to do with my inherent faults.

cramps are eating me from the inside out. i rly need a scribe on standby to read my mind and translate into every language.

anyway it’s hard to speak and type rn. saving the rest of my gratuitous gratitude and delicate documentation in the form of a long overdue sensi•chronicle.

my utilities and med bills are obscene + interest. pls shhare or book me to do a workshop on access at ur work/school

v/c @ sensiskins
pp thai@sensiskins.com
or sensiskins.com 4 worldwide payment options

photo 1 @khoiiboii 🫧
2-12 @_irenetang 🫧

makeup @innerxtc 🏵️
costume @zoegustaviaannawhalen 🏵️

IDs coming by @rachhparr by @littleom

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2 years ago

Murmurs will be hosting a fundraiser benefit to support artist, community organizer and disability activist thai Lu @littleom

The fundraiser event will be a day comprised of artist performances, music performances and DJ sets, as well as various specialty food and drink offerings. In addition to the live event, we will be hosting an online art auction with works from over 30 artists worldwide.

July 13, 2024 | Doors 5pm | Performances 5:30–9pm
*Rapid tests at the door and covid masks are required and will be provided*
More info on thai’s story and sliding scale ticket link in our bio 🎟️

ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕤 𝔹𝕪:
(LIVE) Mia Carucci / SOLTERA / Priestusssy
(DJ SET) Mandy Harris Williams / Friki Fran
(ARTIST & MOVEMENT) thai Lu / Eb

𝔽𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕠𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕓𝕪:
sensi • taste (Suki Sekula / Dorrin Shahsavari / Fran Songheng / Carl from Pear Ware

Sponsored Drinks by:
Yola Mezcal @yolamezcal | Condesa Gin @condesagin | Cann @drinkcann | Sunset Cultures @sunsetcultures | Homage Beer @homagebrewing

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕓𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔸𝕣𝕥𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜:
Peter Chung / Angel Reyes / Nat Decker / Sasha Zamani / Cielo Saucedo / Jules Chimes Gårder / Amia Yokoyama / Gabrielle Rosenstein / Narumi Nekpenekpen / Clue Quilala / Sula Bermúdez-Silverman / Gabriela Forgo / Aimee Goguen / Sonya Sombreuil / Misa Chhan / Laura Stinger / Anja Salonen / CFGNY / Alex Patrick Dyck / Zoe Gustavia Anna Whalen / Women’s History Museum / Adrienne Greenblatt / Suki Sekula / Meesh Sara Fradkin / Pear Ware / Somnath Bhatt / Nong Rak / Cy MMR Tulip / Dove ER / Dean JF Hoy / Xixi Edelsbrunner / HURTENCE / Nube Hawk Cruz / Izabelle New

https://murmursgallery.myshopify.com taken in Murmurs by @littleom

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2 years ago

please help me keep my care in tact so I can continue to cover my immune & antibody treatments, bone marrow biopsy, and regular imaging/scans to prevent organ failure and cancer.

it's been hard enough to gather the energy to post. pain has been very high as i'm emerging from a systemic relapse during PMDD/endo cycle. if it weren't for my medications, topicals, and treatments I would still be in full body shutdown & covered in wet dressings.

but it's an extremely expensive time to be reliant on the US medical system.

if you can support in any ways listed, please let me know. exhausted from the energy it takes to coordinate care. exhausted from recovering from treatments, yet the hospital bills never stop piling up.

could use help w organizing a Ra⨍⨍£e as it's becoming less & less sustainable for me to keep up with posting consistently. or if you're local, could we organize something together?

every $ helps me stay alive. and every shh-are prevents my erasure.

bit.ly/thai-care
or v•c•pp: sensiSkins

image descriptions coming by @seyoungstayoung ♡ by @littleom

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6 days ago

can’t move, frozen in raw pain again. pls shh-are. needing extra help to get thru this crushing relapse. within hours of not having my TCM cream symptoms resurface & my skin starts to deteriorate so rapidly, sending my already fried nervous system into panic mode🚨its been less than a week but fever delirium & bleeding, weeping cracks making the days feel like months in agony

would go to ER if there were anything they could do for me 😓

video description coming by @prayeryears by @littleom

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20 days ago

a lot happened this month in order to make it out of the house for extended periods of time, longer than i’ve ever been able to tolerate in the last decade. but it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of other humans who refuse to pretend i don’t exist.

more on that when i have more energy & less screen fatigue…

have to get a bone marrow biopsy & another skin biopsy next month to make sure the mast cells haven’t spread to my flesh & bones. not looking forward to them drilling into my tailbone 🫨

trying not to be depresso but missing izzy a lot & always 💔

image description coming by @sssshhhharon by @littleom

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a month ago

UPDATE: thank you for making it possible for me to place this order :)))

skintense wounds continue to envelop my body [head to toe] & require critical energy from me that i cannot afford. along with my medical bills.

without TCM cream any stretching of skin that comes with even subtle movement is unbearable. but i need to retain any range of motion i have so that my joints and tissue aren't further compromised.

pls ssshhare • don8 if ur able to spare
engaging is an able-bodied action u can take to support disabled ppl that doesn't cost you anything but care.

v•c•pp: sensiskins

image description coming by @boghuspp by @littleom

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2 months ago

Dear comrades and friends,

Come join us in celebrating the last days of summer and @marmotsansmots birthday while raising f*nds for @littleom . Thái Lu is a cancer survivor living with multiple chronic illnesses, including severe endometriosis, ME/CFS, MCAS, and autoimmune inflammatory skin conditions. All the funds earned through the event go towards supporting them in their ongoing struggle to cover their medical bills.

During the day you can get creative in many ways: You can decorate candles, or glue glittering stones on old clothes or on one of the soli t-shirts you can buy directly at the fundraiser. You can even get a hot new tooth gem applied by @toothgemsfantasy . In the evening our DJs will get you dancing one last time under the open sky before cosy autumn will start.

Let's come together, enjoy music, drinks and food, creativity and each others company while showing solidarity with a comrade in need.

Please come tested and symptom free + there will be tests at the door!

Date: 19th of September
Time: 2pm to midnight
Location: failing femmes, Karpfenteichstr. 13, 12435 Berlin

Timetable will follow soon!

Image description in the comments. taken in Berlin, Deutschland by @littleom

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2 months ago

pls help me keep my care.
470 left. due in < 3 days.

v•c•pp: sensiskins

image descriptions coming by @princesstreatmentisbareminimum by @littleom

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2 months ago

i don’t know what to do or say anymore. u can’t really convince anyone u need care if ur unable to be present. and that’s the terrifying part about not being able to access ur memory or voice, or calm ur nervous system from the mounting debt of disability.

along with my cognition (ability to process information), my aphasia (ability to recall words) has gotten worse as my symptoms have progressed, leading to more isolation bc i worry my inability to express myself will be misinterpreted as disinterest and apathy, as it often is, as it always has been.

the truth is i want more for myself than this. the truth is most ppl would go mad living thru what i have. still i leave room for my own growth & transformation.

pls shh-are • don8 if u can
ive just started treatments & need to keep my care.
ive been enduring too long & its breaking my body.
have been sha-dō-band most of that time, but its worse now that i cant be here as much to advocate for myself.

v•c•pp: sensiskins
september healthcare due in 5 days

photo by Izzy
image description coming by @radicalquyt by @littleom

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2 months ago

lost another 2 days to ask for help. pls shh-are • don8 to last p0st if u can. not much has come thru & healthcare payment is due in 1 week.

840 still needed.

there’s been an extreme heatwave, exacerbating longterm infections & making it harder to get any fresh air or movement. biologics make me more sensitive to sunlight. yes i’m still bedbound 99% of the time, tending to angry wounds & inflamed rashes all over my body. wish i could get a wheelchair to be able to feel nature again & see something outside of my walls, but i can’t even manage anymore rn.

finally was able to make it out for KiKi’s evening walk for the first time in months bc ME crashes, a plethora of pa!n & the intensity of the sun. no shade for cover or yard for her to roam. i must be one of the only ppl in this city with a Vitamin D deficiency.

have been advocating for years, thru medical neglect & gaslighting, to access this care. at last on full doses after an extensive titration schedule ~ so relieved my body is not rejecting it so far. but i’m navigating overwhelming fatigue, over/understimulation & insomnia, affecting my ability to function on a daily basis. will take time for my body to adjust, yet time is obscenely expensive for the chronically ill & disabled.

trying to break thru the shadō-band⛓️‍💥
from the only place i exist: in this bed🪟
can u hear me thru the barricade of suppression?

comment with ur favorite place u have visited 🪷

v•c•pp: sensiskins
or throne.com/sensiskins

image descriptions coming by @spacecowboy._.777 by @littleom

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2 months ago

IMMUNE TREATMENT DAY [from this week]

but not without them fumbling at the last minute the night before, AGAIN. but we did untangle some of the chaos. there are nursing agencies preying on accounts of infusion patients, trying to undercut the assigned nursing agency. not very comforting when we’re talking abt intimate home treatments for immunocompromised ppl & their vulnerable conditions.

this ended up causing so much confusion, stress, & gaslighting that impacted *me* for months while i’m already navigating baseline continuing to plummet, spreading rashes, recurring burning infections & daily allergic reactions. not to mention multiple layers of pa!n & madness.

but bless my nurse auntie. i learned so much from her. between immune treatments, medical maintenance & mounting expenses, & HRT im so incredibly BEAT. but also anxious bc once again i need support to keep my healthcare for September. it’s been impossible to find energy for anything. but hyper-capitalism leaves no room to breathe or rest & i haven’t been able to make a living wage for almost a decade.

pls be patient if i owe u a message🎐
it’s been really hard to catch my breath
940 is due in 10 days to continue getting the care i need after a lifetime of medical neglect

v•c•pp: sensiskins
or throne.com/sensiskins

would be grateful for any shh-ares & coins. its a bleak time for MA & im nervous for what this means for all the SiQ-Os of the world who are being forgotten

image descriptions coming by @sssshhhharon by @littleom

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2 months ago

i’ve been draped in open wounds & weeping skin since 2016, bedbound since 2019, before the masses got a taste of what lockdown felt like…how quickly they forgot. as the pandemics continued, many others around me slowly became disabled too.

some debilitating effects of ME are post exertional neuroimmune exhaustion from minimal exertion & malnutrition, which can lead to organ failure. it is hard to move, think, read, write, & process information.

i haven’t been able to care for myself or bathe or shower. when i had more mobility i could dress myself - a form of language when u are semi-verbal. but now the air itself feels abrasive, with or without clothes.

new meds & treatments are making me even more tired. but advocating for care is a full-time job when u are constantly crashing & burning with next to no antibodies to fight incessant infections that have not ceased for a day, levels FAR out of range.

still in need of 195 for TCM cream + 125 for my MRI
if u can save me any drops of energy…
v•c•pp: sensiskins

im living death in the shadows & could use ur help to shh-are this need. cannot function at all without cream.

image descriptions coming by @amaidendiesinabedroomfaraway by @littleom

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2 months ago