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Lydia Green - The Lovers Club

@lydiachambersgreen

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Stop abandoning yourself in love.
Discernment > chemistry.
Clean decisions that don’t cost years.
Mama ❤️‍🔥 Muse ❤️‍🔥 Mage

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Red flags don’t come with a warning label. They come with a pattern.

One instance is data.
Two instances is information.
Three? Well that is a choice you’re making.

Clock it.
Boot it.
Move on.

And PS!! Before the comments start … yes, obviously some things are an immediate red flag.

If he throws a chair at your head on date one, we are not collecting data my gorgeous Team, we are collecting our coat.

Use your discernment … It’s in there somewhere 😉

Drop a 🚩 if you collected the data 👑 by @lydiachambersgreen

Familiarity can feel like safety.
But safety isn’t the same as freedom.

Familiarity can keep you stuck,
Just as much as fear can.

Fear of loss.
Fear of change.
And so the familiar becomes the safest bet.
The irony!

Play it out …
Look at your future in your minds eye.
The feelings that come up in your body?
THAT is what tells you the truth. by @lydiachambersgreen

Yesterday was a genuinely lovely date.
AND I won’t be seeing him again.

There was a time when I’d always go on a second date -
because I was relearning myself.
My wants. My needs. My values.

Back then, I needed more data.

Now … I don’t.

There wasn’t attraction, and that matters.
It wouldn’t serve either of us to pretend otherwise.

It can be kind.
It can be clear …
And it can still be a no 😊 by @lydiachambersgreen

Happy Birthday to my gorgeous friend Lydia! 🥳🤍✨

Over 30 years of friendship and another trip around the sun! ☀️🥂 Hope you have just the BEST day! 😍🫶

Here’s to many more years of fun, frolics, laughter and dancing together! 🪩💃🏽🎶 Thank you for always being there and supporting us, it means so much! 🙏🤍

Lots of love darling ! 🫶✨😘 xxx by @lydiachambersgreen

The only thing you should be pushing ladies, is a 50kg dumbbell.

If you have to remind him you exist,
Ask for the basics - time, affection, even love,
Then he is not it.

Release him, move on.
Ask for more, expect it.
Visualise him, feel it.
Work on yourself, love you first.

In years gone by, I wanted the King, and yet I wasn’t embodying the Queen.
How could I expect that calibre of man to look twice at me, then?

I settled for p*ss poor “love” because I didn’t believe I was worthy of more.
I blocked the right man coming in because I hadn’t yet become the woman who could stand next to that man.

The right man will never find you whilst you are fixated on the man that does not want to love you.
The right man will walk past you until you become the only woman in the room he cannot look away from.

Big love gorgeous Team,

L ❤️‍🔥 by @lydiachambersgreen

You’ve made your bed, now youve got to lie in it.

How many lives have been lived governed by that one little sentence?

How many people have stayed in jobs, marriages, friendships, homes - lived entire bl**dy lives that no longer fit them!! - because somewhere along the way they decided or believed that they weren’t allowed to change their mind?

I wonder how many of us are still living lives based on decisions we made as teenagers, young adults - even middle aged adults!! With all the wisdom, life experience and discernment we had at those times … 😆

And here’s the super uncomfy bit for you - sometimes, changing your life will disappoint people. It will even hurt people. And that matters, my God, of course it does 🙏🏻

But it does not automatically mean you’ve made the wrong choice, the wrong decision.

We are allowed to grow and to change. We are allowed to have expectations and non-negotiables - in fact, to be happy we MUST have them! And live them. And we are allowed to discover that something we once chose is no longer choosing us, or is no longer something we want.

Maybe you’ve made your bed. That doesn’t mean you have to die in it.

Big love my Team,

L❤️‍🔥 by @lydiachambersgreen

Sugar and spice, and all things nice 😉

Where are my Blackhawk Mama’s? 👋🏼 by @lydiachambersgreen

Who told you it was too late?

Too late to fall wildly in love. Too late to start again. Too late to change careers, leave a relationship, build something magnificent, make new friends, move countries, or finally admit that the life you’ve been living isn’t actually the life you want.

I wonder how many of us are living according to a set of rules we never actually consciously agreed to.

We made choices at 25, 30, 35, 45, 55 … and somewhere along the way decided we were obliged to keep making them for the rest of our lives.

Because we’ve made our bed, haven’t we?

Well, yes.

But that doesn’t mean we have to die in it.

I’ve learned there’s an extraordinary amount of life available to us when we stop treating our past decisions and choices as permanent instructions for our future. We grow, we change, and so must our lives. Or we stagnate and wither away.

And I think there’s an extraordinary amount of love available to us too.

That’s what I want to explore here.

The living. The loving. The choosing. And occasionally the absolute f***ing wilderness and absurdity that is being human.

God knows where it’ll take us 😉 follow along for the ride 😘

@lydiachambersgreen

Big love,
L ❤️‍🔥 by @lydiachambersgreen

What you continue to choose tells you something about where you are, my love.

Why?

Because we meet people where we are.

And sometimes, if we’re super lucky, we get to grow together.

But sometimes we grow … and they don’t, and then the relationship doesn’t.

Which is where things get interesting … 😬

Because there comes a point where we have to stop asking “Why isn’t this person giving me more?” and ask a slightly more uncomfortable question, uncomfortable truth:

Why am I still agreeing to less?

Less love.
Less honesty.
Less intimacy.
Less effort.
Less f***ing LIFE.

Not everything we once chose is something we’d choose again.

And please hear me - that is not a failure.

Sometimes it’s simply the truth - the person who made the original choice isn’t the woman making today’s choices.

Have a look around.

At your relationship. Your friendships. Your work. Your life.

Would the woman you’re becoming choose them?

😉

L ❤️‍🔥 by @lydiachambersgreen

Anyone else? 😂😂 by @lydiachambersgreen

What if I choose badly again?

God, this question keeps women stuck, and that makes me cross! But I get it, I used to be you.

Because after you’ve got something badly wrong once (r for some women, more than once!!) especially when the consequences are enormous, you can become absolutely f***ing terrified of your own judgement.

So you look for guarantees.

How do I know he’s a good man?
How do I spot the red flags?
How long should I wait?
What if I miss something?
What if he changes?

You can’t know.

And weirdly, I find that incredibly freeing.

Because I now don’t need to know everything about a man on date three.

I only need to know me.

I need to trust what I notice. Trust what I feel. Know the difference between my old wound screaming and my body quietly saying “no”. Watch behaviour ladies. Gather information. And know and trust that if reality changes, you are allowed to change your mind.

That’s the bit we don’t talk about, don’t realise, just swoosh past in the honeymoon phase.

The goal isn’t to become so bloody brilliant at dating that nobody can ever hurt you again.

It’s to become so deeply anchored in yourself that you no longer need that guarantee.

You don’t need to know how the fairytale ends before you begin it.

You just need to know you won’t abandon yourself halfway through.

And from there?

Dating becomes rather good fun actually … 😉

Big love,

L ❤️‍🔥 by @lydiachambersgreen

In a world full of fake friends… find the ones who match your crazy! 💃🤣❤️
Life’s too short for boring friendships! 🪩✨
Tag your partner in crime 👯‍♀️👇
#BestFriendEnergy #FriendshipGoals #PartnersInCrime #GirlsJustWannaHaveFun

Everyone needs that one friend who’s just as crazy as they are! 🤣❤️ Who’s yours? 👇 by @lydiachambersgreen