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MaKela Allen

@makelaallen

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5260

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widow + solo mom
owner: @andremakena_ ✨
podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast 🎙️
healing out loud 🫶🏽 grief. love. loss. joy

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I didn’t want to play both roles.

Both mom AND dad.

When his dad died, Andre was only 3 years old. To be honest, we are over two years out and still can’t look at pictures of him from that time in our lives.

The part I hate most about grief? It changed the kind of mom I HAD to be. I no longer just got to be the mom who danced in the kitchen, the one who kissed their injuries when they got hurt, or the mom who somehow made small moments feel big and magical.

Immediately I felt the weight of being a single mom raising a young man. It was on me to teach him respect, how to be kind, and what it means to hold your friends accountable. While I hope my son can hold onto the good pieces of who his dad was, I also refused to let patterns of violence and anger to become normalized in our family now.

I haven’t always gotten it right. I own when I could have showed up better as his parent or handled a situation differently. I’m honest with him that I’m figuring out how to be a parent for the first time too.

When Andre asked to come on my podcast, I didn’t know what to expect. I watch our episode back and I don’t just see my son, my 6 year old.

I see my son who could have every reason to be jaded of the world and hurt others, and instead he loves harder than any one I’ve ever met.

I am genuinely lucky to be both my kid’s mom. I get to be the MOM who shows them how we CHOOSE love after loss.

If you’re a single-solo parent wondering at the end of the day if all that you’re doing is enough for your kids, this episodes for you 🤍

PODCAST LINK IN BIO ✨

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites
Photo: @meliarae.photography

#widow #podcast #grief #lifeafterloss #healingjourney taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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a month ago

Not My Timeline Podcast is officially out ✨

I have chosen to share my story in hopes in reaches someone where they need it most.

This podcast is not the highlight reel of my life. Instead, I’ll walk you through everything I do in my personal life and career to overcome and choose JOY.

Life can still be beautiful.

Even if it’s not according to your timeline 🤍

PODCAST LINKED IN BIO

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites
Photo: @meliarae.photography
Studio: @abidestudioaz

#podcast #lifeafterloss #griefjourney #fyp #healingoutloud taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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2 months ago

Parenting is only hard for those who want to be a good parent.

And if you know anything about me, I am determined to be the best mom I can be.

It’s become our tradition to take photos together for each of the kid’s birthdays. Looking at these photos, I see us, “The Dream 3”, the happiest we have ever been.

Once I stopped asking for permission to be happy after our loss, we changed. Not just me, all of us.

We laughed more, have danced like no one is watching, and we have travelled and explored just us THREE.

As a single solo mama, I don’t think I could be more proud of the humans I have been able to raise and the smiles they’re STILL able to have on their faces.

I’m not a perfect mom, but I’ll ALWAYS be there. For them ❤️

#lifeafterloss #widow #griefandloss #singlemom #griefjourney taken in Mesa, Arizona by @makelaallen

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3 months ago

I think the saying goes.. A picture is worth a thousand words 🤭

Photographer: @kylajeanette taken in Miami Beach, Florida by @makelaallen

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4 days ago

My client spending more money doesn’t automatically mean I’ve earned more money.

I think that’s a conversation worth having in the wedding industry.

If my clients decide to spend another $100,000 on florals or upgrade their entertainment, I don’t believe that should automatically mean an increase in my planning fee.

Of course, there are situations where a larger budget means more work, more staff, and more responsibility. And my pricing accounts for that.

But I also believe you can protect your business while giving your clients flexibility.

I never want my couples questioning whether I’m recommending something because it’s right for their wedding or because I’m financially benefiting from it.

That’s why I’ve been intentional about building a pricing structure that protects my business while keeping my clients in the driver’s seat.

I’m breaking down exactly how I do that in this week’s episode of Not My Timeline.

Planners, I’m curious. How do you approach this?

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites
Photo: @meliarae.photography

#podcast #workingmom #businesswoman #weddingplanner #weddingplanningtips taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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5 days ago

One thing I’ve learned as a business owner is that just because something is considered the “industry standard” doesn’t mean it has to be YOUR standard.

For years, there’s been this conversation about whether wedding planners should charge a flat fee or a percentage.

I don’t think either is inherently wrong.

I think the bigger conversation should be about understanding your scope of work, knowing your value, and creating a pricing structure that makes sense for both you and your clients.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about in this week’s episode of Not My Timeline.

FULL EPISODE LIVE NOW 🤍

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites

#podcast #weddingindustry #workingmom #weddingplanner #speaker taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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6 days ago

I didn’t want to tell my clients that my husband died.

Up until that moment I had been able to hide so much over the years. From clients, coworkers, from family too. I showed up to meetings with bruises under my clothes, and after spending some nights in my car out of fear of sleeping in my own home.

I’m not proud of what allowed myself to endure. That’s why I am so adamant about now sharing my truth.

I’m not the only one in the Events Industry who covers up what happening in their own life. We show up on someone else’s biggest day, even if the thought of own wedding day brings us so much sadness.

I lost my husband.

Some grew up without their mom or dad, and may not have someone to dance with or walk them down the aisle. Some capture your day knowing they’ll never have that same moment for themselves.

We (your vendors) still show up. We choose to still believe in love.

I never thought a client could show up for me with the same type of kindness and compassion I want to give to them.

Be kind, because you never truly know what someone is going through behind closed doors 🤍

NEW PODCAST EPISODES OUT ON TUESDAYS ✨

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites
Photo: @meliarae.photography

#podcast #grief #widow #workingmom #singlemom taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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6 days ago

What a difference it is when you don’t have to beg a man to want you.

To choose you, or to love you.

Deciding to date again as a widow comes with so much judgement.

You’re told to get out there, to go find “better”.

Or.. It’s too soon, take it slower, and I didn’t love my late husband enough.

Truth of the matter is, unless you’ve survived the sudden loss of a spouse, having to grieve in front of your children and STILL continue to move forward in your life I actually don’t care for your opinion.

I was married to man for nearly a decade. A decade of abuse. Physical, verbal, and emotional. My kids now get the opportunity to see me be held, cared for, loved in the safest and honest way possible.

It’s weird when you decide to work on yourself, and to love yourself FIRST before being willing to open your heart again. I already love who I am, and the life I’ve been rebuilding. I don’t need someone, I’ve always said the person who comes into our lives is going to have to make me want them.

Before, my husband would have done anything he could to ruin a night out for work with me. Instead, this man encouraged me to shine even brighter.

There is safety in healing. It also shows you what you are no willing to accept 🤍

Dress: @retrofete

#widow #dating #lifeafterloss #healthylove #healingoutloud taken in Miami Beach, Florida by @makelaallen

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10 days ago

My husband died and I didn’t tell my clients.

Not right away.

I don’t think people talk enough about having to work while grieving.

Not taking a few days off. I mean REALLY work.

Three months after my husband died, I produced the largest wedding I had ever done. My clients didn’t even know he had died for several weeks.

At the time, I thought being professional meant keeping what was happening in my life separate from theirs. They hired me to plan their wedding, and I was going to show up and do exactly that.

This episode is about that season of my life and how it changed the way I look at professionalism and vulnerability. I realized the two don’t have to exist separately.

I share exactly how I eventually told my clients, but more importantly, what that experience taught me about the kind of planner, business owner, and person I wanted to be moving forward.

Your life doesn’t stop because you own a business.

And being human doesn’t make you less professional. 🤍

LISTEN TO THIS WEEK’S EPISODE OUT NOW ✨

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites
Photo: @meliarae.photography taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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10 days ago

What do you do when you can no longer hide your life?

I had always done a “good job” of hiding what my life really was. For me, my work became my escape. I could believe in someone else’s fairytale, even if mine wasn’t what it seemed.

When my husband took his life, it changed every single bit of my life. Including my business.

There is no rule book on how to operate at the luxury level in events, working with celebrity clients, CEO’s, politicians.. your world completely crashes and you STILL have to work, provide, show up for your kids, GRIEVE, and still get your work done.

I did it. Most days I still don’t know how.

Here is where it all started, how I told my client’s my husband took his life.

We all go through something. Maybe it’s the loss of a parent or a child. Compassion can be shown and given 🤍

NEW PODCAST EPISODE OUT NOW ✨

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites

#podcast #businessadvice #workingmom #widow #lifeafterloss taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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13 days ago

I thought if you could love the ugliest parts of someone, it could make them feel whole.

Truth is, you can only love someone as much as they love THEMSELVES.

You can’t heal someone, change them, force them to be sober, or grow to be someone else that they’re not. THEY have to want the change for themselves.

I’m not the same person I was when I first met my husband. I want and need different things now, verse then.

I could have a list of reasons to hate the idea of opening up my heart again. To be honest, it’s a real choice to want to be vulnerable after you’ve lost someone the way I have. But I choose every day to find joy and love, and I’ve worked so damn hard to love who I STILL am today.

I want someone who has equally put in the work to become “whole” on their own 🤍

NEW EPISODES OUT ON TUESDAYS ✨

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites
Photo: @meliarae.photography

#podcast #grief #dating #widow #lifeafterloss taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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14 days ago

I didn’t know someone’s darkest side until I was too far in it.

Often I think if I had asked this of my late husband from the beginning, would I have demanded more when the lash out was at my expense.

Once I decided to date again as a widow, I had to create a new set of questions when it came to seeking a potential partner.

I already have my non negotiables outlined, but who is that person when things aren’t perfect? Who are they when they have a bad day?

Just as much as I expect my partner to show up for me, I equally want to be able to be their safe place too.

If you’re considering dating again, no one can determine your timeline. This episode is for you 🤍

Podcast: @notmytimelinepodcast
Production: @themediasocialites
Photo: @meliarae.photography

#podcast #lifeafterloss #datingtips #griefjourney #boundaries taken in Scottsdale, Arizona by @makelaallen

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18 days ago