Instagram story viewer> @mannisohal82> Posts

Manni Sohal

@mannisohal82

593

followers

2099

following

• Mommy • Leader • Professional • Daughter • Sister • Friend • Healthy Lifestyle Enthusiast • Foodie • Passionate Individual • ❤️ •

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

14 years have passed, yet you live in the quiet spaces of my heart 🤍

I miss you, my brother -
in the softness of your presence,
in the way your arm would rest around my shoulder,
in the gentle patience you had when I couldn’t quite find my words.

I wonder what shape your life would have taken in this world today,
how your laughter would fill the spaces around my children -
guiding, teasing, protecting in your own way.

With Ethan, you’d talk strength and self,
with Emelia, you’d remind her of her power,
with Evan, you’d chase every thrill on wheels.

And with me…
you’d tell me the truth - steady, unfiltered, full of love.

So I meet you now in my daydreams,
in the conversations that never quite left,
holding onto the feeling of you
until the day we meet again.

03/01/1985 - 27/03/2012

xoxo 🤍 by @mannisohal82

81

15

7 months ago

It’s January 1st and the year has come full circle. This time last year we were bringing in the New Year in a country in which we thought we would be building a new future in.
Today, we aren’t building our life in that same country but we have definitely discovered ourselves, the strength, courage and determination, the spark, the love, the self which lay dormant because ‘life’ got in the way.
As a family we rediscovered how to support each other.
Unlike the year, we have not come full circle, many have come to the realisation that;

“I was still water, held by my surroundings.
I am now a river, carving my own path.”― Scott Stabile

Let’s walk into 2021 together, much truer to ourselves to make a positive difference and amazing growth in all that we do.

#2021 #HappyNewYear #happynewyear2021 #hashtag #positivevibes #positive #growth #rainbows #fullcircle by @mannisohal82

75

5

6 years ago

Happy 7th birthday to my sweet little princess Emelia. Thank you for coming into my life and filling it with happiness. You are the kindest and most loveable being the world will know. I adore your love for unicorns, and your roarsome nature my little lioness. I love you from the bottom of my heart. by @mannisohal82

98

18

6 years ago

Hi I'm Manni, Punjabi Sikh, married mom of 3.

In 2011 as I went through the motions of when my brother (Bicky), discovered his cancer had returned after 2 years of being in remission. It was a difficult time as me and my husband had recently found out that we were expecting our first child.

2 years prior (2009), after my brother was first diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, it was found that I was a bone marrow match for him, at the time he opted not to have a bone marrow transplant. For this reason, I waited to start a family after his remission period, just in case he needed me to be his donor.

Fast forward 2 years, he has the all clear from his consultant after being in remission for 2 years, I’ve found out I was pregnant and then his cancer returns.

Bicky, sadly passed away on 27th March 2012, 11 days after my son was born.

There was information on the internet for family’s on how to cope with a family member with cancer and grief loss but none of that information related to my circumstances or to my cultural background.

I suffered with grief loss and postpartum depression simultaneously. Grief never goes away, but you discover coping mechanisms which help you live your life, as opposed to continue to suffer from your loss.

For this reason, I feel it is important to talk about my experiences of the circumstances surrounding such a difficult phase in my life, in hope that if anyone is going through a similar scenario, they can take something away from me to give them the strength and courage to talk. by @mannisohal82

123

65

6 years ago

....and so I began the healing process on my own....

#acknowledgement
#postpartumdepression #grief by @mannisohal82

53

10

6 years ago

This was a difficult story to read for me.
My thoughts about how Nima was feeling triggered past emotions which have been buried for over 5 years.
#postpartumdepression
#griefjourney
#grief
#babyblues by @mannisohal82

50

4

6 years ago

by @mannisohal82

26

0

6 years ago

Turning into my little sister by @mannisohal82

56

13

6 years ago

#thoughts #love #understanding #somethingtothinkabout #instaquotes by @mannisohal82

27

1

7 years ago

Life with Postnatal Depression and a new born baby.

April 2012.

I grew anxious as Kyler’s paternity/bereavement leave had come to an end. Panic set in. The thought of being left alone by myself at home with the baby made me feel sick.

I found it hard to breathe. I was scared. I didn’t want to be left alone with the baby, I hadn’t cared for him in weeks, not really.
I was made to feed him, at times he was forced upon. Kyler would take the ‘cruel, to be kind’ strategy, because that’s all he knew how. It used to work.

I spent most of my days, sleeping, withdrawn from the world around me and insomnia became the norm. I would feed the baby and tend to his needs, in almost a robotic manner. Then, cry myself to sleep. I really don’t recall much, just that I slept, a lot. I had no care for myself. I had no joy in looking after the baby. I just felt empty, just a shell, programmed to respond to the cry of a baby which 9 out of 10 times signalled he was hungry.
I felt like I was a hopeless mother, did I even love my baby? I used to wonder what it felt like to love a baby.
A month went by, Kyler came home on his lunch break, to check up on me. He asked me, ‘what have you been doing?’. ‘Sleeping’ I reply back.

He sounded annoyed, I remember the tone, pitch and his exact words. ‘Maninder! You can’t spend your days sleeping. You’ve got a baby to look after’. I couldn’t even be bothered to talk to him. It took too much energy, I was consumed by sadness. My world was in monochrome. It was lonely and cold. To be honest, I didn’t want to talk to him, or to anyone for that matter. I just wanted to be left alone. Everything was so much effort!
Deep down,I knew he was right. He had a valid point. This tiny human; he needed to be cared for and he was my responsibility. I wanted to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling which I had read about and what Kyler talked about when he used to describe his joy for our baby.
#mentalhealthawareness #postnataldepression #newborn #brainhealth #depression #sadness #bereavement #anxietyproblems #concealeddepression by @mannisohal82

56

7

8 years ago

I skipped the “baby blues” and dived straight into Postnatal Depression.

Where it all started.

I had 10 days with my baby, being a dutiful first time mom. Trying to do everything right by my baby. Doing, what I thought was best for him. This time is so overwhelming in itself, during postpartum. As your body recovers from the incredible journey it’s been on.

In the East, traditionally, postpartum is seen as a precarious time. Various methods of care, almost confine a new mom to help aid her through the transition period into motherhood. I didn’t mind being ‘mothered’. I was grateful for the extra care and support, which assisted me greatly and which meant I could focus on my recovery and my babies initial need of feeding him and comforting him.
Then, it abruptly came to an end.
Fast forward through the 4 weeks from, the birth of my baby boy (who didn’t even have a name at this point), Bick, my brother passed away and the funeral was all done and dusted.

My baby was at home being cared for by his grandmother and auntie. Extended family would also come over to help them out, during my period of mourning.

I used to come home, after being at my parents house from morning till night(this is where family and friends would come around to pay their respects), I honestly, don’t remember much from this time, except for a moment as I walked sadly, withdrawn up the stairs, thinking I don’t need to worry about the baby. He is being looked after, he doesn’t need me.
From this point, I now have identified, where it all started. The persistent feeling of sadness. I had no joy in the presence of my baby. He didn’t even feel like my baby, I had nothing to do with.
He cries for his 3am feed, never wake me. I was in deep sleep, I felt so tired, drained and exhausted. It was only after Kyler would shake me awake, through his agitation due to sleep deprivation, that I would then feed my baby on the rare occasion. Kyler was a lone parent acting as mom and dad, during this period. I was useless. I felt like I wasn’t a fit mother. I didn’t know my baby, I had no bond with him.
#mentalhealthawareness by @mannisohal82

37

1

8 years ago

“Raising awareness of mental health problems should be the start of the process of tackling them, not the end.” - Dean Burnett

Raising Awareness.
Talking about mental health and raising awareness is the start, for changing behaviour and attitude towards people and their changed behaviours. “ So, when someone’s mental health does falter or fail, they should receive the same concern and help that someone with a more obvious “physical” ailment should get, not scorn and stigma, as often happens.” I have wanted to talk about my personal experience of postnatal depression and bereavement for some time, but, I have just never had enough courage or really found the words to express my thoughts and feelings.
The struggle is real and exhausting. It takes every ounce of energy, every day to stay positive. Practice; does make you better: with that mantra, I reflect and strive to do better and make myself better each and everyday.
Mahatma Gandhi — 'Be the change you wish to see the in the world.’ By sharing my feelings and experiences, (just like the many people who have influenced my well being in a positive way and have said how I feel) and raising awareness of the issues I feel can be beneficial. Not only to enhance our understanding of those who deal with these issues, but maybe just the patience of those who don’t have to.
#mentalhealthawareness #postnataldepression #bereavement #transformation #stigma #sikhmentalhealth #mahatmagandhi #perspective #brainhealth #deanburnett #mind by @mannisohal82

44

0

8 years ago