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Mark

@mark585429

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Former musician turned engineering manager and Single 2nd generation Japanese Ameerican navigating dating and trying to figure out emotional health

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An interesting read. One of the key things I've learned about hard seasons, much less grief is that I've had to relearn that hard times or grief is no reason or excuse to be a disrespectful dick to anyone. In my hardest seasons I had to get used to saying "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?". Saying just "sorry", or "I apologize" doesn't cut it. Saying I'm sorry will you forgive me is intentional. We are still on the hook to be good humans. That is good emotional responsibility and health. by @mark585429

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a year ago

I was raised by an female immigrant Japanese woman during Vietnam. One of my first memories is being about 3 years old and I've told this story before and we were outside the old Carnegie library and a tall Caucasian man smacked my mom on the ass and uttered the words "fucking gook". I read somewhere that 70% of the women you know will be sexually assaulted in some form or another. How is this okay? It's not so bad that the people do it it's bad that people see it and say nothing as well. This is why I'm very careful about the people I choose to call friends. by @mark585429

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3 days ago

I've watched people lose control of themselves and yell and scream over things they can't control. Contextually there's things I can understand that people get upset about. There's a real difference between losing control of your temper and taking it out on others and being upset one of them is okay. When you yell and scream like that that's typically your body reacting to the cortisol and anxiety from the cortisol Spike. There's a direct correlation with heart disease and this behavior. Heart disease is the number one killer in the US. Take good care of yourself. Understanding where you are emotionally is the most important skill you can use. by @mark585429

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4 days ago

I went and saw my baby perform. She's an adult but she'll always be my baby. The second video is not from her performance but it's something I wanted to share. That song is comosed by a Vietnamese composer named Viet Cuong and it is called deciduous. It's both heartbreaking and celebratory. He lost his father. In 2023 I lost more than my mom. So tonight the grief came like a wave. But in the midst of that grief I was able to appreciate what my daughter was doing because I gave up what I was doing when she was born so she could have more than I could. A father and good parent. Regardless Viet wrote this song because he felt like he fell apart when his father passed away. He said he was losing his leaves. I very much understood what he was saying. Below is a description of how he described the song and what it meant to him.
As soon as I heard this I fell apart a bit. Thank you for the smiles and tears @vietcuongmusic
Composer Viet Cuong wrote his wind ensemble piece Deciduous as a personal reflection on grief and healing after his father's passing.The Inspiration Behind DeciduousLosing His Leaves: Cuong felt like he had "lost my leaves" after his father died, explaining that just as leaves harness light for plants, he had little creative energy left.The Silence of Grief: Struggling with the pain and the reality that his father would never hear another note he wrote, he sat silent at the piano for many months.Cyclical Healing: He came to see healing not as a straight line, but as a cyclical journey where every leafless winter is followed by spring.
The Inspiration Behind DeciduousLosing His Leaves: Cuong felt like he had "lost my leaves" after his father died, explaining that just as leaves harness light for plants, he had little creative energy left.The Silence of Grief: Struggling with the pain and the reality that his father would never hear another note he wrote, he sat silent at the piano for many months.Cyclical Healing: He came to see healing not as a straight line, but as a cyclical journey where every leafless winter is followed by spring by @mark585429

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10 days ago

I'm on her senior year of attending her music performances. I love going to these she did great! by @mark585429

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11 days ago

I celebrated for three days my birthday. I definitely recommend this the first day I spent with friends watching New Mexico United play soccer, the second night I spent with family nieces and nephews and Grand nieces and Grand nephews. And then the third day I spent with my daughter. I'm grateful for my life and my friends. Maybe this year holds a woman for me! But my life is still full. by @mark585429

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20 days ago

I'm turning 56 soon. It goes so quickly. The work is important. The grief and loss is important, the success is important. I used to think I was only good at being young. The joy is important, but more importantly the people I love are important. by @mark585429

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21 days ago

I always end up at the weirdest places and I love it by @mark585429

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22 days ago

This work is not done by a long shot but I wanted to show the fantastic work a new friend of mine did @truegrittattoo ! You are a badass. As I've grown up throughout the years I've watched people lose their culture because they get further and further away from the people who came to this country and their family. These images the tattoos I get on my body and the way I live my life are a reminder of two types of racism / bias I've faced all my life. When I was younger I was constantly reminded that I'm not American enough but it was done in passive aggressive shitty ways. As I've grown older I've seen people who are quote unquote ful Asian tell me I'm not Asian enough or not Japanese enough. I've learned over time both people are right that's why I call myself a Japanese American I am neither Japanese or American even though I served in the military. But I'm a Japanese-American and there's things I can do that others can't. I love who I am! My mom was an immigrant with three boys and this is my reminder to myself about who she was. Watashi wa nikkeiamerikajin niseidesu.は日系アメリカ人二世です。 by @mark585429

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a month ago

I'm soon to be 56. I'm at the age where I've carried around enough trauma that I'm trying to take care of all of it there's the emotional side of it which I've got covered. But there's the physiological aspects of trauma. Between my time in the military childhood racism and other people's bullshit getting pushed to me I have a physiological response that triggers fight or flight. And that's okay. This week I wasn't able to work out because I was sick. But today was my first day where I was close to 100% so I did my 1 mile walk and 2 mi Sprint. It's nice to have somewhere to dump that crap. Life is too short for carrying around other people's crap! We all get to the age where at some point if we don't start taking care of our hearts they take care of us and it doesn't end well. The number one killer in the US is heart disease it's not just what you eat it's how you take care of your emotional hurt and stress by @mark585429

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a month ago

The first time I heard these guys I was in high school during the '80s. It can't be said enough the state of popular rock music during the '80s was shit. These guys stood out they ended up oddly enough combining some aspects of punk and metal. Back then they were referred to as the Beatles of heavy metal. It doesn't really do justice to the musicianship and songwriting. These guys will always be one of my favorites! by @mark585429

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a month ago

Sometimes people ask me what growing up in Roswell was like. I finally have something to help people understand that 😐 by @mark585429

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a month ago