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Mark Quigley

@markquimark

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HIV activist and long term survivor. Proudly positive since 1985. Fellow of the Casualty Actuarial Society. Visual AIDS BOD. Big 🧠 and bigger ❤️ :)

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I feel compelled to post this self portrait in solidarity with my HIV+ brothers and sisters after watching a recent live IG vid of @iamcardib in a full blown rant, wishing AIDS on the mother of someone who she apparently feels did her wrong. An ignorant, irresponsible and immature comment that’s an insult to not only those of us living with HIV but the millions who suffered and died from AIDS related complications. HIV+ for almost 35 years, I am proud of my status. But that’s unfortunately not the case for many others living with the virus. There is no shortage of shame and stigma associated with being HIV+, and hearing AIDS used as a weapon as Cardi B did has not only the potential to reinforce the negative feelings that often come with an HIV diagnosis but also legitimizes for the less informed the rather despicable idea that HIV/AIDS is something vile to be wished upon your worst enemy. Whereas in reality it’s a chronic medical condition, and a very manageable one at that. Thanks to @theaidsmemorial for bringing attention to my attention and others Cardi B’s unfortunate and insensitive words. #hivpositive #uequalsu #fightstigma #endaids #proudlypositive #lgbtq #lgbt #livingwithhiv #mugshot #gettested #livingwithhivisnotacrime #gayman #hivpositivehomosexual #healthyhomo #fitforlife #gaydaddy #hivpositiveandproud #longtermsurvivor #imstillhere #beardedhomo @hivadvocate #thisisme #undetectable #untransmittable #iampoz @visual_aids @gayletter taken in Jersey City, New Jersey by @markquimark

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7 years ago

Fall has risen. Praise be to Autumnus 🍁☺️ #fallfoliageupstatenewyork #autumninthecatskills #fallcolors #catskillmountains #fallfoliage taken in Margaretville - Catskills, NY by @markquimark

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Today is National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day. I’m 68 years old and was diagnosed as HIV+ when I was 26 years old. Meaning I’ve been living with the virus for 61.76% of my life. For what it’s worth 😄 Me & HIV are practically old friends at this point. It’s like the uninvited guest that has never left. #nhaad #hivandaging #hivandagingawarenessday #hivlongtermsurvivors #hivpositive taken in Margaretville - Catskills, NY by @markquimark

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“Landscape of the WTC”. High art left to me by my dad 😆 It’s so good. I have no idea where he got it. But he obviously had a thing for the Twin Towers. He also gave me a framed poster of them I believe before 9/11/2001, which is upstate #wtcartwork #twintowers #twintowersnyc #rememberingseptember11 # taken in Jersey City, New Jersey by @markquimark

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I can never forget. But on that day, 9/11/2001, I think in retrospect a bit of denial kicked in regarding the seriousness of the situation. Which can sometimes be healthy. It helped me get through the dark days 16 years prior, when Douglas died and I thought for sure I would soon be next. I worked on the 77th floor of the North Tower for a few years in the late 80’s, not long after I found out I was HIV+. I enjoyed looking out my office window and watching the planes fly by in the distance. #september112001 #september11witness #hivlongtermsurvivor #traumasurvivor #rememberthesky taken in Jersey City, New Jersey by @markquimark

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My poor mother was never the same after I was born😆 #happybirthdaytome🎉 #todayismybirthday #happylaborday #bigbaby #10lbbaby taken in Jersey City, New Jersey by @markquimark

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With great love comes great loss. PTSD is something I didn’t sign up for, but I now finally accept that it is my reality. My therapist said to me today, “Mark, there are no words to describe the magnitude of the trauma you endured, but endured you have and continue to do so #hivlongtermsurvivor @theaidsmemorial #hivlongtermsurvivors #ptsdsurvivor taken in Jersey City, New Jersey by @markquimark

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It’s the little things that matter most. Like when a random kid who saw my veins popping the other day while I was walking down the street yelled “Wow you’re ripped!” No filter, no hesitation, just pure, aggressive hype. I’ve never felt so validated by a total stranger. 😭😂 #gymhumor #nofilter #vascularity #buffdaddy #gymhype taken in Jersey City, New Jersey by @markquimark

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Under how many layers does the real you lie? I’m still searching myself…#maskedmen #whoareyou #maskcollectors taken in Margaretville - Catskills, NY by @markquimark

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🇺🇸 “I honor and remember with love my first love, Douglas Trezza.

We met in the pool at the Westside YMCA in Manhattan in July 1982. After showering, chatting and well, cruising each other while drying off, we walked back into the locker room, only to discover that our lockers were right next to each other, clearly a sign of things to come. Since we lived in the same neighborhood, we continued to get to know each other while walking uptown to our respective apartments. I was completely smitten.

Douglas was not only beautiful to look at but it became quickly clear that he was just as beautiful inside. When we approached his apartment on 75th & Broadway, he invited me in. I jumped at the chance yet somehow knew that this was not a typical hookup but something very different. And I was right. When we got upstairs to his place, he was a perfect gentleman. First he planted a delicious kiss on my lips and then asked me on a date two days later. I of course said yes and the rest is history.

We were pretty much inseparable for the next 3 years, until Douglas succumbed to AIDS in 1985, a few days shy of his 30th birthday and just 5 ½ months after he was diagnosed.

Honestly, Douglas suffered terribly and never stood a chance against HIV. Unlike today, there was no medication to keep the virus at bay. I watched it ravage his body, trying against all odds to do whatever I could to prolong his life while at the same time being scared shitless that I would soon suffer the same fate as Douglas, as I found out I was HIV positive about the same time he did.

To this day I don’t know why I survived and Douglas didn’t. I never got sick although I lived for years waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am one of the lucky ones. Being such, I will never forget those who weren’t so fortunate, like my beloved Douglas.”📖 by Mark Quigley @markquimark #whatisrememberedlives taken in New York City by @markquimark

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3 months ago

Be proud #nycpride #happypride🏳️‍🌈 #hivlongtermsurvivors taken in Jersey City, New Jersey by @markquimark

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Happy Father’s Day from me & my chosen family 😂 #fathersday #babydollsonfilm #gayguysanddolls taken in Upstate by @markquimark

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a year ago