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Maryam De Groef

@maryamdegroef

3.5K

followers

1999

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📖 PhDing in Anthro @ UWO
🗣️ NSR Coach, Storyteller, Grief, Loss, Trauma, Faith
#griefandjoy #childloss #organdonor
📩 [email protected]

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

: : Z E Y N A H : :

What a year it's been - 366 days since your anaphylaxis and since our lives changed forever. You've transcended the physical realm and your energy and love fills all the lives you've touched in one way or another. Islam promises us life after death and you transcended that too by giving life through death. We have learned to laugh through the pain & tears and discovered that grief and joy coexist, just as life & death do.

Approaching this 1 year mark, I discovered that March 13th is National Good Samaritan Day!!! An opportunity to reflect on the power of service to others and the importance of creating a society where people are valued for helping one another.

How absolutely fitting for you, my darling Zeynah. You are the opitome of selflessness, kindness & giving. You left us all standing in your dust!!!!!

In light of this, I'm asking all my friends, family, colleagues, & strangers to carry out random acts of kindness today (and if possible over the next 7 days) to honour Zeynah's life.

Share your act(s) of kindness with me by tagging me in your stories or posts so we can see how far & wide the ripple effect runs.

And keep an eye out for March 16, where I'll be asking you to participate in something fun too.

To my dearest Zeynah, thank you for showing us all how to live a full & fantastic life. I hear you in the bird's song, I see you in the stars, I feel you in the warmth of the sun, I smell you in the scent of roses. And I think of you whenever I eat cake.

Thank you for showing us what it means to be strong, brave and courageous in the face of all that life gives and most of all thank you for being a beautiful bright light on this earth.

May there always be light. Endless light upon light!

X

If you feel called to share this in your stories to spread a little kindness in the world, pls do.
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#oneyearwithoutyou #lifeafterloss #anaphylaxis #asthma #organdonor #hearttransplantdonor #allergychild #wildfreealive #jannabgoals #muslimah #griefandjoy #griefjourney #grievingsister #grievingmother #griefjourney #goodsamaritanday #randomactsofkindness #rippleeffects #gooddeeds #ramdangoals #ramadan2024 #forever9 by @maryamdegroef

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3 years ago

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ
Surely to Allah we belong and to Him do we return!

It's with the greatest pride and deepest gratitude to Allah SWT for bringing our Angel Zeynah Layali De Groef into the countless lives here in this Duniya (world).

Today, she gets to give the gift of life to others through her Eyes, Kidneys, Liver, Pancreas and Heart ❤️ Insha'Allah.

بِسْمِ اللهِ مَجْرِيهَا وَمُرْسَهَا إِنَّ رَبِّي لَغَفُوْرٌ رَحِيمٌ
In the name of Allah is its course and its mooring. Surely the Lord is most forgiving, merciful.

In life & death she has been the greatest Giver - Alhumdollilahi Rabbil Alamin.

There will never be enough words to express what she means to us.

Please keep us all in your prayers.

#zeynahthelovelynights

#anaphylaxis #childloss #organdonationsaveslives #organdonationawareness #grief #griefjourney by @maryamdegroef

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4 years ago

: : P O W E R F U L : :

This morning I attended the Rise Collective with @francesca_brunsden as I try to get back into my daily routine. Post Mother's Day & driving to Montreal has been exhausting and I half-heartedly showed up at 6am from my hotel bed.

Little did I know that today's sessions would be a powerful reminder in seeking the magic and knowing that God is looking out for me. How did an amazing breathwork session with @carly_breatheyourinnerlight do that?

I love breathwork. It opens up and unlocks so much within. Emotions/ideas we often suppress or seek externally. The desires I have for my/our future were crystal clear (as if I could reach out and touch them) and then Carly ended by reading this very poem by @mariannewilliamson - which blew my mind. How was she to even know what this poem means to me, my family & all those who love & knew Zeynah?

Wow!

Fabi ayyi aalaaa’i Rabbikumaa tukazzibaan

So which of the favours of your Lord would you deny? (55:13)
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#faith #childloss #childlossawareness #anaphylaxis #asthma #organdonor #organdonation #organdonationsaveslives #hearttransplantdonor #hearttransplantdonorfamily #jannah #jannahgoals #jannahseries #breathwork #breathworkhealing #healthcoach #griefandjoy #healingthroughbreathwork #griefmedicine by @maryamdegroef

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3 years ago

: P A I L :

Thinking of all those navigating pregnancy and infant loss today - those who never got to bring their babies earthside, whose babies were born sleeping, and those who said goodbye far too soon.

Our babies leave literal imprints in us that time cannot erase. They become part of our bodies and our being. I love the thought that we may carry pieces of our babies with us long after they are gone.

Today, I’m remembering my three babies who never made it earthside, and honouring Zeynah’s life, today and always as she'll forever be my baby.

Four babies, each a part of me.

However your story of loss looks, your baby matters and Your grief matters. You'll always have a space to share with me.

We are mothers forever, carrying our babies in ways the world may not always see, but that we will always know. 💜

#PAIL #PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #PregnancyLoss #InfantLoss #ChildLoss ForeverAMother by @maryamdegroef

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2 days ago

: D E A T H / S T O R I E S :

A little glimpse into Death Stories 🤍 (sped up for time’s sake 😂).

It was such an honour to be part of this evening and to share my story with an intimate group of almost 50 people. There’s something so special about bringing people together to talk openly about death, grief, love, and the ways we carry those we’ve lost with us.

A huge thank you to Jenna from @wearealldyingpodcast and Christa @deathsapprentice.ca for creating this space and inviting me to be part of it. It's always my deepest honour to share Zeynah with the world, to speak about grief and the ways it continues to shape our lives, and to connect with others who understand how much these conversations matter.

With tomorrow being PAIL (Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness) Day, this feels especially meaningfulnto share tonight. A moment to honour all the babies who are no longer here, the families who carry their love and their loss, and the little lives that continue to leave an immeasurable mark on this world.

For all my babies who are no longer here, and for every parent who carries this kind of love and grief. You are not forgotten. 💜
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#pailawareness #grieftalk #deathstories #suddenchildloss #bereavedmothers by @maryamdegroef

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3 days ago

It’s not a secret…..people die….and as a result, there are Death Stories. 💜 This is just a little sample of what sharing one could sound like.

Christa (@deathsapprentice.ca ) and I, are so grateful to @maryamdegroef for being our featured guest during September’s Death Stories gathering. Thank you also for sharing Zeynah with us. 💜

Our next Death Stories is coming up October 25th. Registration is free. Link in bio. by @maryamdegroef

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3 days ago

: DE GROEFS SAY EH :

It's our Caniversary today 🇨🇦 !

7 years ago, we arrived here as a family of four, with two little girls who were just 3 and 6, dreaming of the life we would build together.

7 years later, so much has changed. Z2 is growing up an only child, we’re trying to build a life from the pieces, and we’re learning to navigate a world that looks so different from the one we imagined.

Canada has been the backdrop to so many chapters of our story. The ordinary days, the big milestones, the becoming, the breaking, and the slowly learning how to carry both grief and gratitude.

Canada isn’t the same without you, Zz. There are so many moments I wish you were here for, so many things I wish we could experience together in this realm!

But our faith reminds us that this world is temporary, that not everything is meant to be understood in this lifetime, and that there is comfort in trusting what we cannot see. I hold on to the belief that this separation is not forever, and that, by the Mercy of Allah, we'll be reunited one day.

Until then, we keep living, loving, raising your lil sissy, and carrying you with us, always. Your life continues in another realm, and your presence continues in those you gave life to and in ways we're still discovering.

7 years of calling this place home. A reminder that home is not just a place we build in this world, but also the people we love, the faith that holds us, and the promise of a home beyond this one.

Until we meet again, Zeynie. 💜
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#lifeafterlosscanstillbebeautiful #degroefssayeh
#canadaeh🇨🇦 #griefcommunity #griefandjoy by @maryamdegroef

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6 days ago

Maryam De Groef is a grief educator, nervous system regulation facilitator, and integrative health coach whose work blends lived experience with professional practice.

After the sudden loss of her 9-year-old daughter Zeynah in 2023 and her family’s decision to donate her organs, Maryam became a public voice in pediatric loss, compassionate care, and legacy.

She leads somatic grief retreats, trauma-informed workshops, and speaks widely on navigating loss, emotional regulation, and healing through the body.

Maryam is the founder of Refuge of the Heart and Restore & Rebalance, and has presented at institutions including LHSC and King’s College. She is also a 2nd-year PhD researcher in Anthropology at Western University, where her work examines grief, meaning-making, and pediatric organ donation in culturally diverse clinical settings.

Her research combines autoethnography and ethnographic fieldwork at London Health Sciences Centre to understand how bereaved families navigate end-of-life decisions and construct meaning after child loss.

She is also our very special guest this Sunday for our monthly Death Stories gathering. Register for this free online event and join us for a memorable and meaningful hour.

Thank you Maryam for all you do! We’re grateful to you for sharing your time and story with us. 💜

Link in bio. by @maryamdegroef

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a month ago

: D I L L Y / D A L L Y :

There’s something pretty special about the word dilly dally 💜

As kids, we were always being told to stop dilly dallying - hurry up, get moving, don’t waste time!!!

And then we grow up and realise… maybe there’s something beautiful about slowing down, lingering, connecting, and doing absolutely nothing in a hurry.

My friend @goodhandjenna opened Dilly Dally Cafe in less than a week in @reimagine.co on top of back-to-school chaos - and somehow creating this beautiful little community space where we can do exactly that. 🥹☕️

Come dilly dally with us. 💜
Watch for regular opening hours! 👀✨
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#coffeecommunityculture #cafezia #coffeewithoutjitters #communitybuildingcommunity #dillydallying by @maryamdegroef

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a month ago

Grief has a strange way of bringing pieces of your journey back to you when you least expect it.

I don’t believe in coincidences. Today, I met someone who was part of Zeynah’s journey on the day she died - someone who helped coordinate where one of her organs would go.

Three years later, our paths crossed again.

Some moments just feel like they were meant to find you. 💜

This definitely was not on my bingo card...but then again, not many things that have happened to were either 🙈
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#lifeafterloss #griefandjoy #grievingmother #suddenchildloss #childlossgrief by @maryamdegroef

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2 months ago

What was supposed to be a fun afternoon at @londonchildrensmuseum… turned into one of those “you can’t make this up” kind of days.

The dino pit (which sounds cute in theory) is filled with these tiny, skin-coloured beads, literally the size of lentils. So of course, kids being kids, they were playing, tossing them around, fully immersed.

Ziva was lying belly-down in the pit when her friend threw some beads in the air… and one landed straight in her ear. I get the call from my friend, who handled it so calmly, telling me the museum said: “this happens all the time.”

Options given: try tweezers (absolutely not), sleep it off (wth??), or take her to a clinic. So… off to emerge we go!

We went to Ingersoll because wait times are better. And in true Ziva fashion - big feelings, big heart, she’s in full meltdown telling the nurse she doesn’t want to die 😭

And instead of curiosity or care, the response was an eye roll and “you’re not going to die from a bead in your ear!”

And just like that, I had to gently explain, again, that for a child who has watched her sister die, fear doesn’t show up logically. It shows up loudly. In her body. In her voice. In moments like this.

Later, the doctor walks in with a light, almost joking tone: “sooo we’ve put a bead in our ear?”

Nope.
We haven’t.
We’re not in the “sticking things in ears and noses” phase.
We’re in the “life has already shown us how fragile everything is” phase.
And that changes everything.

What might be a quick, almost funny ER visit for another family… is layered for us. Heavy and Loaded!

People think loss is an event.
A moment in time.
But it echoes.
In the fear.
In the reactions.
In the way your nervous system never quite forgets.

Zeynah didn’t just die and that was that!
She lives in the way we move through the world now.
In the way we feel things deeply.
In the way I advocate, educate and protect.

Also,Children’s Museum, respectfully, do better.
If something is “happening all the time,” it’s not a cute quirk. It’s a safety issue - One time is too many!

Alhamdulillah for steady hands, a safe outcome, and a girl who felt everything… an by @maryamdegroef

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4 months ago

: C H O C / M O U S S E :

Recipe testing something a little dreamy recently… a rice chocolate mousse sweetened with coconut blossom syrup 💜

There’s something about slowing down in the kitchen, letting it be imperfect, letting it be play!

I used @tucanholistic's coconut blossom syrup for this one - and as I was stirring, I got the sweetest news… they’re opening their first store 🥹✨

If you’ve been here a while, you know how much I love supporting brands that feel aligned, intentional and rooted in care. Watching my dear friend Emmy (who btw was Zeynah's pod teacher in covid) and her partner Zied grow like this feels super special.

So this little recipe felt like the perfect way to celebrate them (not sponsored, I just absolutely love all their products)!!!

Still in the testing phase, but drop a 💜 of you'd be interested in this recipe.
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#chocolateovereverything #chocolateislife #coconutsyrup #supportlocalbrands by @maryamdegroef

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5 months ago