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Jackson Chen

@mates_collective

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Place for every men, of all ages to find
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Every father understand this! #mates #mensministry #mensgroup #matescollective #mensmentalhealth by @mates_collective

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9 days ago

Out reward is His mercy! taken in Castle Hill Adventist Church by @mates_collective

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18 days ago

A lot of men were taught, directly or indirectly, that their value comes from what they can provide.

So they keep working.
Keep producing.
Keep solving.
Keep carrying.

And eventually, rest feels guilty. Achievement feels empty. Quiet feels uncomfortable. And being needed starts to feel the same as being valued.

The problem isn’t ambition.
The problem isn’t responsibility.
The problem is when your identity becomes completely tied to your output.

You are more than your income.
More than your title.
More than your productivity.
More than what you can do for everyone else.

Your presence matters too.

If this resonates, share it with a mate who might need the reminder.

Follow MATES Collective for honest conversations about brotherhood, purpose, faith, relationships and what it means to be a man.

#MatesCollective #MensMentalHealth #MensGrowth #Brotherhood #MensHealth by @mates_collective

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25 days ago

Men, sometimes the need to explain yourself is the very thing stopping you from hearing her.

She tells you something hurt, and your mind immediately goes to:

“That’s not what I meant.”
“Let me explain.”
“You misunderstood me.”
“How do I fix this?”

You’re trying to explain your intention.

She’s trying to explain her hurt.

Those are not the same conversation.

One of the hardest things to learn is this:

Your intention can be good, and the impact can still hurt someone.

Both can be true.

You can love someone deeply and still say something poorly.

You can mean well and still make someone feel unseen.

And if every hard conversation becomes a courtroom where you have to prove you’re not the bad guy, eventually the other person may stop feeling safe enough to tell you how they feel.

Sometimes the better response is:

“I hear you.”

“I can understand why that hurt.”

“Tell me more.”

“What did you need from me in that moment?”

Then actually listen.

Don’t immediately fix it.

Don’t correct every detail.

Don’t build your defence while they’re still speaking.

Understanding someone doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say.

Validation isn’t surrender.

Listening isn’t weakness.

Sometimes when someone tells us we hurt them, we hear:

“I’m failing.”
“I’m not enough.”
“I’m a bad husband.”
“I’m the problem.”

So we defend ourselves.

But their pain isn’t always an attack on your identity.

Sometimes it’s an invitation to understand them better.

Real strength in a relationship isn’t winning the argument.

Sometimes it sounds like:

“I may see this differently, but I still care about how this affected you.”

Most men were taught how to provide, work, endure and solve problems.

We weren’t always taught how to stay present in an uncomfortable conversation.

But we can learn.

Listen first.
Understand second.
Solve later.

If this hit home, comment LISTEN.

Like it. Save it. Share it with a mate who may need the reminder.

MATES Collective
Real conversations. Better men. Better relationships. by @mates_collective

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a month ago

by @mates_collective

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a month ago

5 Signs Your father wasn’t emotionally present for you as a boy growing up

(I recognise all 5)

1. You struggle to name what you are feeling. Not because you didn’t feel it but no one ever asked you and help you find those words

2. You seek validation from other man in ways you don’t understand. An approval that you seeking all your life

3. You are uncomfortable being comforted. Someone offer you care, you deflect it or minimise what you are going through because receiving that attention wasn’t something you learn to be safe

4. You equate love with providing rather than presence. You will work yourself to the ground for the people you love but struggle to just sit with them and be available

5. You have a hard time asking for help. Independence becomes your identity because there was no one consistently there to lean on. So you learn to need nothing from anyone

If this resonate, comment ‘Present’ for our full episode.

Follow, Like, Subscribe and Share this with a fellow brother
#mates #mensministry #mensgroup #brotherhood #menswork by @mates_collective

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a month ago

5 Signs Your father wasn’t emotionally present for you as a boy growing up

(I recognise all 5)

1. You struggle to name what you are feeling. Not because you didn’t feel it but no one ever asked you and help you find those words

2. You seek validation from other man in ways you don’t understand. An approval that you seeking all your life

3. You are uncomfortable being comforted. Someone offer you care, you deflect it or minimise what you are going through because receiving that attention wasn’t something you learn to be safe

4. You equate love with providing rather than presence. You will work yourself to the ground for the people you love but struggle to just sit with them and be available

5. You have a hard time asking for help. Independence becomes your identity because there was no one consistently there to lean on. So you learn to need nothing from anyone

If this resonate, comment ‘Present’ for our full episode.

Follow, Like, Subscribe and Share this with a fellow brother

#mates #mensministry #mensgroup #matescollective #menswork by @mates_collective

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a month ago

For fifteen years I thought the strong thing was to carry it quietly.

My marriage ended. Three months later I lost my dad. And I told almost no one.

Not because I had no one. Because every option I was given looked the same. Sit down, open up, talk about it. And I couldn’t.

What finally worked wasn’t a conversation. It was other men. Walking. Training. Building. Turning up. Somewhere in the doing, the words came out on their own.

That’s why I built Mates.

A collective of men doing real things together. Men who notice when you go quiet. Who call you out when you’re hiding. Who stand next to you long enough that the hard stuff comes out sideways.

Sometimes what you’re missing isn’t another podcast or another piece of advice.

It’s men in your corner.

If that’s you, follow along. And if you know a mate who’s gone quiet lately, send him this. He’ll know why.

#mensmentalhealth #mateship #brotherhood #menswork #manofgod by @mates_collective

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a month ago

I wish I known this as a young man… by @mates_collective

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2 months ago

You circle of influence will shape you

As men, we may feel the need to DO it all ourselves

Pastor Johnny shares a few thoughts around the people that has helped him in becoming who he id today
#mates #mensministry #matescollective #mensgroup #growingstrong by @mates_collective

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a month ago

Fathers day is celebrated differently for everyone

Some have great relationships and some done

Some have lost their father and some are caring for their father

No matter who you are, we want you to know that fatherhood isn't done alone.

We raise our children as a village, sharing and caring for each other.

I am grateful for the men of faith in my corner.

We want you be part of that village and do this uncharted journey of fatherhood together

#mates #mensministry #fathers #mentalk by @mates_collective

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a month ago

I wished I known this… by @mates_collective

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2 months ago