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A blended experiment - intimate versions of me thru poetry
by @nikkitpops
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I won’t (August, 2026)

I won’t trail a storm with no end 
I won’t go blind to the monsters in my bed 
I won’t lie quietly falling into the night 
I won’t stand in place for time 
I won’t hide in the dark under the sun 
I won’t walk on pins to clear my head 
I won’t sing to the harp of a different melody 
I won’t read the stories without wanting more 
I won’t fall to get lost in the woods 
I won’t carry the straps of freedom 
I won’t burry the leaves for one more spring 
I won’t catch the moon in the blues 
I won’t watch the stars fall and not wish 
I won’t miss a thing if I had you 
I won’t let go of the chance to dance 
I won’t stay here without you 
Will you? 

x

Sometimes you think everything you are doing is right, sometimes you have no idea what is or will happen next, and sometimes you just fuck around and you find out but don’t stop floating down that river toward your future, don’t run into speed bumps and think you crashed your car, you won’t get very far. Keep swimming, your body glows in the sun and your eyes sparkle because you are fun. The life you want is out there, it’s finding you, you don’t have to keep searching, you might miss it if you do. by @n____i____c____
1
2 months ago
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Lost keyholes (7/31/26)

Touching grass all up in bed
Together we just up and wed
They found us there touching again 
Then there we were together within 

Geometry of summer and soft touches of rain 
Shaping a future once traced in my veins 
All but more is taken unless I must me mistaken 
Lost keyholes get shaken until they awaken 

A simple promise of depth in your vibe
An eye for an eye I’ll be by your side 
With a world so fair I want to keep you divine
If you’ll just step inside I’ll promise to be kind 

XXXX

I think I feel ready to go back to work, but summer heat makes my ankle swell like a hot air balloon. I’ll stick to painting, graphics, media kits, local shop designing, and most importantly ankle rest for a little longer I guess… but I’m feeling so soft these days, missing the grit and strength I worked so hard to find in myself. I need the balance. For my sanity and grace. 

Ok I love u bye by @n____i____c____
0
3 months ago
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Let the breeze be the test (8/1/2026)

A summers dress I lay to rest 
I heard my name burn across your chest 
Along came Polly, all will no fret. 
Silence fell, never the morrow, it was me he treks without any sorrow. 
The gods they face know nothing will break, the strength he creates is worth earthquakes. 
Shadows they creep
Welcomed to peep
Never forgotten, not even their teeth. 
The warmth he must taste can’t be just waste. 
Sirens by the sea
He started calling me
I’ll meet you feeling free each time you’ve fallen for the. 

xxxx

sitting out here in the mountains on the sea of southern Italy, asking myself if it’s all too good to be true, am I dreaming, why is nobody pinching me, life is filled with hope and wonder but reality will soon settle back in and have me on my knees again. 

<3 taken in Scarcelli, Calabria, Italy by @n____i____c____
0
3 months ago
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Greater for goods (2026)

Disgust me distaste me 
Throw me away
Sink me down under until I can’t breathe 
Leave me loath me 
Let me, for only I can be-trove me 
Begin again. It never happened. 
Until then. Another one relapses. 
I can’t. Not again. Not in there, not for him. 
I’m gone and within,
But not forgotten before I begin. 
Strange dreams, stranger memes, make it mean something in between. 

X.

What a fricken ride it’s been this summer. 9 weeks one foot. 9 weeks crutches. Pain. Loss. Double loss. Dumped without a word. Fired without remorse. Nothing my fault and yet the burden was me. Back to strength and heart and soul and finding exactly what it all means to live a life so full. by @n____i____c____
0
3 months ago
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Poetry of moving water (a soundscape) 
Moments to notice. 

Every change of scenery and a touch from the sun brings a new promise. by @n____i____c____
0
4 months ago
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Fools Know Pain (Feb., 2026)

Tactile games against fibers in the rain 
Flush lights recessed through my pain
Ten thousand miles to be here next to you
Feeling the most to escape to where only fools train
Turning fractured love into a forever hug
Days long to our morning songs 
Budding between bedsheets and in our heads 
Baking a love so beaten 
Until the sun sets become long over due 
The where are yous are nothing new 
Run a mile run a marathon run to Seattle but leave your love a trail to trace 
Where the sun fades the moon shades 
We can’t ever go back to that one set pace 
Foolish to think at all what could replace this place laced with not one not two but every single embrace
Every single brush of skin bares the memory we will never replace
Our broken records scratch the surface 
My neighbors playlist cracks the purpose
A song so loud blood begins to crack
Drip down my back while my heart sets on fire 
Burnt before bruised and becoming 
Somewhere between a fools lacked desire and the flowers set to expire. 

XX 

Doors close, some stuck by an old handle, others need to be locked, welded, and burned. by @n____i____c____
3
4 months ago
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Everything hurts (2026)

Raw like butter,
But it doesn’t hurt like it used it.
It doesn’t hurt like my whole body aches and cries and shakes for air under water.
It hurts like a black hole,
It hurts like nothing exists.
It hurts because you care and you quietly weep under a black hood where only trees cast shadows on your feet that can’t even hold you up.
A pain hidden deep.
An uncomfortable intuition that consistently becomes unclear and disarming.
Nothing makes sense and nothing feels intense,
But everything is real and everything is heavy like steel.

x

Thoughts come and go, but this feels like a release of many built up emotions. This period is so heavy but faith exists so we’re cool. The more I read it it feels like spoken word vibes and sounds good read aloud. Ok raw and loud I’m nervous. Maybe someone will feel somethin. („ಡωಡ„)(x . x) ~~zzZ

And pplease watxh the full vidoes this bridge landscape scenery coming in north to mobile is incredible by @n____i____c____
4
4 months ago
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The fatal misfortune 

I wanna run into the woods calling my name
I wanna pack up the keys to my things 
I wanna run with a full mind and a clear path ahead of me
I wanna pack up the past and leave it for a cast 
I wanna run away from all these great expectations
Let me fly away and hide away 
Let me be chased and misplaced
Let it keep going it’s the path chosen before me
It’s not about me it’s not about you
It’s not always we but a lot of times us
It’s always sunny where the black hole has a sun

x

feeling so small held back from doing the things I love and all I keep doing is blaming myself. ik it’s not but it’s like psychological torture not even yoga set me up to understand. would just really like to go swimming and lift heavy things up and down and bang my little baby hammer and I rlly rlly rlly really wanna move my body. I do things to put my mind to sleep, how do I do that sitting on my ass all day long? Ok bye by @n____i____c____
0
5 months ago
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I’m alive and I’m trying (2026) 

Every day we wake up, and we try 
Every moment we move, we try 
Every step into our story, we try
We try to wake up, we try to love, we try to walk a thousand steps to build a story of our lives like we are alive. 
Because we are
We are alive 
We are finding the sunny bossanova rhymes of our times and making soup out of the waters of our minds 
Why don’t we just let it all go and swim as if the iron man course map drew the dotted line right outside 
And cry if you want to
And scream if you want to
And hug if you want to
But hug often and never not at all

X all I got is trying by @n____i____c____
3
6 months ago
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Being alive in the Winter (February, 26)

The magic of being alive 
The sparkle of living 
The gift of being 
What’s found is so profound
What’s understood is never waiting
What’s his is never hers 
We find traitors in creators
We uncover drugs in low pulled tugs 
We only lift before the unseen cliff
But where are the afters, is the sun not shining before the moon starts winding down our eyes even one more song and dance we still ignore 
Move forward and live like the magic of being alive always exists 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx I misssed uuuuuuuuuuu <3 by @n____i____c____
0
6 months ago
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The magic of being alive and experiencing a wonder of the world high in the clouds by @n____i____c____
1
6 months ago
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The magic of being alive and loving architecture baked anything and being outside by @n____i____c____
2
6 months ago
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