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NAMUSSAH

@namussah

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Toyo
👩🏻‍💻 Animator / Video
📍 NY
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empty mind by @namussah

23

0

5 years ago

Can't keep track of time very well anymore. Mind is full of so many other things. It's hard to take social media seriously after all that happened in the past few years. I hope everyone is holding up.

At a certain point art stops being therapeutic and freeing, and becomes burdensome, or a constant reminder that I should be doing other, more meaningful things instead. Hoping to find small happiness in it for myself again. Am I allowed to feel this way? Maybe it's a little selfish.

Something I made a few years ago and never shared fully.

#motiongraphics #animation #3d #2d #design #happiness #wellbeing #joy by @namussah

3

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5 years ago

I don’t like thinking about all the instances in which, external forces and hateful people molded my spirit, my faith in humanity, my worldview.

I cling to these painful moments. They continue to haunt me as they equally shape the person I am today. I wish I wasn’t constructed by these kinds of experiences as much, but I am.

My aggression is an armor, a defense mechanism crafted by my trauma. If I don’t get mad to show that I’m not afraid, who will protect my parents? If I don’t get angry and demand respect, who will protect my friends? If I don’t get angry and let the world know I refuse to be docile as expected, who will protect me? And so I get angry, and I stay angry, I’ve been angry from the moment I realized how the world saw me. A little East Asian girl, unassuming, sweet, and easy to digest. Fun, like the cultural exports from my mother's motherland. Easy to mold, easy to pocket, easy to own, easy to consume. When the little geisha doll ceases to entertain- easy to discard.

I seek to exist in a world without boxes. I don’t like to be perceived. In solitude, I can carve out space for myself and forget about the flesh image that everyone else sees. When I’m alone I can embrace the real me.

The hurt now is no greater than it was yesterday and the day before, and the days before and before and before. Although it’s sad to say, I am numb to talks of the racism + racial fetishization + patriarchy influences of (East) Asian women. I consider myself lucky because at least I've found enough support and safety in select environments, where I'm able to reclaim my authentic sense of self - absent of the all-permeating misogyny, hypersexualization, and fetishization. At least I’ve surrounded myself with enough people who make me feel safe, at least. I feel for all people who still live in fear of living in their truth.

I wish this week's talks were surprising, but they are not. I’m thinking not only of Asian women but of all women of color. How many of their stories go untold, how many of them overlooked, violated, erased. I am lucky, I live on to talk about my own experiences. I wish things like this didn’t happen anymore.

#stopasianhate by @namussah

65

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6 years ago

Manifesting blessings.

Hope you're all taking care of yourselves ✨

#3d #speedsculpt #zbrush by @namussah

51

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6 years ago

sending: 💌

This year has been tough, and it's tougher still for many. It's really difficult to focus on the little good things. I hope everyone can surround themselves with things that make them happy.

"Hang in there" and "Things will get better" feel like really empty words at times- but I believe it's worth saying and hearing.

Reflecting on 2020, all the important conversations and the full spectrum of emotions-good and bad. Today is the winter solstice. That means we are now approaching spring and the days are getting longer a little bit at a time. Baby steps ❤ by @namussah

64

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6 years ago

Happy Friday, friends.

Sometimes reality is so very heavy. I wish to be weightless and worry free 🌼

#3dart #maya #cg #3dartist #3dmodeling #3drender #artistsoninstagram #art #yellow #characterart #characterdesign #tgif #cute #fly #dream #sky #clouds #daydreaming #relax #peaceofmind by @namussah

78

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6 years ago

I call this one, "Falling into Perpetual Darkness" 😎

Some 3d exercise, please enjoy the crunchy instagram quality. Recently it feels like a lot of things are happening all at once, but at the same time- not.

#3dart #cgart #3dartist #3danimation #animation #mograph #motiongraphics #anxiety #artistsoninstagram #art #design #characterart #characterdesign by @namussah

66

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6 years ago

Take a moment to breathe, it's Friday and things will get better.

#mograph #aftereffects #meditation #breathe #2danimation #tgif #motiongraphics #artistsoninstagram #animation #art #peaceful by @namussah

36

5

6 years ago

"Reaching out saves lives"

How is everyone doing? September is suicide prevention month- which can be a heavy topic for many.

If you or a loved one has ever been in a dark place before, you know how significant small gestures from others can be. What one conversation can do for your mental health.

While we all struggle to balance our sense of stability on all levels, especially now more than ever, I hope we can consider who we can extend our compassion to when we have love to spare. Because it gets better and everyone deserves to hear that the good days will outnumber the bad. Don't give up. You are precious. Your bad days don't define you. Let's keep going together.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

#mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #mentalhealthawareness #compassion #youareloved #suicideprevention by @namussah

49

2

6 years ago

In a state of limbo. What a year.

#digitalart #artistsoninstagram #art #drawing #illustration #드로잉 #practice #shorthair #shorthairdontcare by @namussah

52

2

6 years ago

☁️ spiritual fatigue ☁️ comfort zone for the soul.

#drawing #art #doodle #sketch #illustration #artistsoninstagram by @namussah

59

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6 years ago

If there's one core value of mine that's proven rewarding time and time again, it's that giving to and helping others has an immeasurable return value in life. I think a lot of us don't feel like we have the stability or the resources to help others, but actually there is always something we can do. Speaking for myself, even if it's asking someone how their day was, or asking if they are eating well or feeling down- can change that person's day for the better- even if it's a small happiness.

In the face of injustice, stepping forward and taking a stance can feel scary because we fear for our own wellbeing. But reflecting on my arguably short 25 years of life, I can confidently say that every time I put someone else first and stood strongly by the smallest voice in the room, I could sleep at night knowing that I did the right thing. Even when the consequences were detrimental on my end, if it meant that that one person, feeling forgotten and alone, knew that at least I was on their side, that I believed them, and that I would stand by them no matter what, I was happy.

No one should feel like they are fighting alone. Our fight against hate can be fueled and rooted in the love we have for humanity.

If we can all enter a room, take a look around, see everyone as precious, as worthy, and ask what we can do for others before ourselves, I believe this world can be a better place. I really do.

So as we all move forward together, let's push ourselves to look after the people who feel unseen and unheard. I promise it's not as scary as it sounds and you don't have to be a "boss" or a "leader" to do so. Every single one of us can make a difference. Someone out there needs you to be by their side.

I hope everyone feels loved and supported today. I believe we are destined for greatness. Big love everyone, and strength to those fighting the good fight 💛

#love #humanity #empathy #kindness #solidarity #standup #speaktruthtopower by @namussah

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6 years ago