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Nikki Rhode

@nikkirebuilt

8.4K

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2866

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📸 photographer
🥊 boxing & fitness
🌅 canon EOS R7
🦅🐦‍🔥 wear your scars like wings

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For most of my life, I couldn’t seem to get through a single day without stumbling, tripping, falling, or somehow losing my footing.

I was a complete mess. Reckless with myself, barely functioning, and so consumed by addiction that making it to the next day became the only thing I could think about.

There was nothing fulfilling about the way I was living. I wasn’t making promises to myself or looking forward to tomorrow. I was hoping I’d survive another day, knowing the very thing I depended on to numb myself was slowly destroying me.

And somehow, every year became worse than the one before.

But getting free from addiction meant more than leaving something behind. It meant learning how to live without constantly escaping myself.

The painful experiences of my past still affect me. Neither has the self-doubt completely disappeared. But I’ve discovered that even after years of living in darkness, there is still light to be found within yourself.

And what a difference it makes to wake up with a clear mind, to find fulfillment in the smallest things, and to recognize parts of myself I spent years neglecting.

I’m learning to appreciate my own company, trust my decisions, and take pride in the way I live. I don’t always get everything right, but there’s something incredibly meaningful about knowing I’m no longer contributing to my own destruction.

I spent so many years stumbling through life without caring where I landed.

Now I care enough about myself to watch where I’m going. And when I stumble, I no longer have to lose myself in the fall.

#myactionshavemeaningnow
#learningtohonormyself
#livingwithintentionnow
#thelifeirefusetowaste
#reclaimingwhatineglected taken in T Street Beach, San Clemente by @nikkirebuilt

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3 days ago

There are chapters of my life that were made heavier by stories I never wrote and lies I never deserved.

The whispers, the secrets, the things said behind my back by people who never imagined their words would find their way to me.

But they did.

I knew far more than they realized. And while they continued spreading things that were never true, I was struggling to find my way through a life that already felt unbearable.

There were years when I felt less than human. Years when moving forward looked more like crawling.

The fabrications were relentless. One false story after another, repeated and carried further, while I was trying to make sense of a life I no longer knew how to navigate.

But their lies were never a reflection of my character. They were a reflection of the choices they made.

And through years when I was fighting to hold my life together, God and Jesus remained.

They knew my heart when others chose to invent their own stories about it.

They could rewrite my story in their conversations. They could never rewrite who I was in God’s eyes.

#godknewthetruthallalong
#theirwordswerenevermystory
#faithoutlastedthefalsehoods
#myworthwasnevertheirstodefine
#godknewmyeverystorm taken in Pico Park by @nikkirebuilt

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4 days ago

I remember a time when the world around me seemed to exist almost entirely in shades of gray.

Life was moving everywhere around me, but somewhere between the chaos, the addiction, and years of struggling to find my way through the life I was living, I had lost the ability to see any beauty in the world around me.

Even the brightest days felt strangely colorless.

What I didn’t realize then was that the world hadn’t lost its color. My perspective had become so consumed by everything I was living through that I could barely see beyond it.

And the transformation didn’t happen all at once.

Little by little, I started noticing how different life could feel when I was no longer so caught up in everything I was going through.

There was so much about myself I still wanted to explore. Things I wanted to try, challenges I wanted to take on, and experiences I never imagined I would have the opportunity to enjoy.

Over time, I began to realize just how much color, beauty, and possibility there was in a life I once struggled to see anything good in.

Wonder. Peace. Curiosity. Appreciation.

My resurrection didn’t happen overnight. It took time to realize that life could feel so different from the way I once experienced it.

I didn’t need the world to change its colors. I needed the chance to see them again.

Somewhere along the way, even the ordinary became extraordinary. What once passed unnoticed now holds a beauty I never knew how to appreciate.

#myresurrectionhaditsownseasons
#learningtoliveinfullcolor
#thebeautyiwasntreadytosee
#iwontspendmysecondchancelivingingray
#theresawholeworldleftformetosee taken in 24 Hour Fitness - San Clemente Super Sport by @nikkirebuilt

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7 days ago

For years, I lived with the weight of knowing my addiction was taking more and more from my life while I was still trying to function like everything was fine.

Addiction carried its own clock. Everything had to fit around it—work, schedules, constantly watching the time go by, and trying to keep the rest of my life moving without letting it all fall apart.

There was so much shame in knowing I wasn’t living the life I wanted, but still not knowing how to stop.

I think that’s why the difference feels so enormous now.

By the time my life brought me West, so much of what I thought I knew had already fallen apart. What I found here was the space to recover, rebuild, and discover how different life could feel when I was actually present for it.

Recovery gave me more than freedom from what controlled me. It gave me the chance to notice life again—the beauty in it, the possibilities still waiting in it, and the strength to meet whatever comes without running from it.

I spent years trying to hold together a life I wasn’t really living.

Now I want to experience every bit of it.

#theclockdoesntownmeanymore
#iwontmissmylifethistime
#somewherealongthewayifoundthelight
#secondchanceslookdifferentfromhere
#theresmorelifeineverychapter taken in Pico Park by @nikkirebuilt

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17 days ago

There was a time when I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. Somewhere along the way, that changed. I learned to find my own strength, to keep choosing myself, and to keep moving even when the road felt impossibly heavy. And when I didn’t know if I had enough left in me to get back up, faith kept telling me to keep going. Looking at where I am now, I know I didn’t get here by accident. I fought for this life, and Heaven never stopped fighting for me.

#heavenfoughtbesideme
#faithmetmeineverystep
#godneverletmyfightbewasted
#builtbyfaithandfight
#nowimfightingforwhaticameheretodo taken in North Beach by @nikkirebuilt

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a month ago

Heaven whispers #heavenwitnessedeverything #godknewthetruth #jesuscarriedmehome #mypastpreparedme #resurrectedforhisglory taken in Pico Park by @nikkirebuilt

6k

446

a year ago

#absinthetrenches #coreunderconstruction #repswithoutremorse #abdominalannihilation #failingmiserablyonthestabilityball taken in 24 Hour Fitness - San Clemente Super Sport by @nikkirebuilt

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11 hours ago

#builtbeyondthebasics #strengthinallseasons #gravitymeetmygrit #unstablebutunshaken #wobblewithapurpose 🌀 taken in 24 Hour Fitness - San Clemente Super Sport by @nikkirebuilt

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a day ago

Balance & Form. Under My Control. ⚖️

#powerinmyownhands
#masteringmyownmechanics
#precisionineverymovement
#mydirectionmydecision
#builtbeyondthelimitations taken in 24 Hour Fitness - San Clemente Super Sport by @nikkirebuilt

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3 days ago

Not everything deserves the power to throw you off balance.

It’s recognizing what strengthens you, understanding what knocks you off course, and choosing what deserves a place in your life. 🧭🎯

#knowyourcenterknowyourdirection
#groundedwithin
#strengthinlettinggo
#recenterandrise
#noteverythingdeservesyourenergy taken in 24 Hour Fitness - San Clemente Super Sport by @nikkirebuilt

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5 days ago

Be gentle with yourself.
You fought so hard to be here.
Let yourself live beyond what survival ever asked of you. 🪷

#thelifeisaveddeservestobelived
#joyisnolongeranafterthought
#learningtocherishwhatibuilt
#ipushedthroughnowigettotakeitin
#beingherewasalwaysworthfightingfor taken in 24 Hour Fitness - San Clemente Super Sport by @nikkirebuilt

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10 days ago

Every angle gets tested.
Every limit gets worked.
Push everything.
Spare nothing.
Built from every direction.
No part of me gets left behind.

#builtwithanonseason
#everypartanswerstothecall
#nothinginmegetsleftuntrained
#everyangleearnsitsstrength
#nothinggetsleftunfinished taken in 24 Hour Fitness - San Clemente Super Sport by @nikkirebuilt

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14 days ago