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Vanski✨

@nomanskii

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just a human traveling through life
documenting & sharing my honest experience
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life update. just pulled up to bali & blew out the candle to my birthday cake. i’ve been wishing for the same thing every year since i was a kid.. but idk, this year i just couldn’t do it. i’ve been living in answered prayers mannn & it feels too selfish to ask for anything more for myself in this moment. as a kid, all i wanted was my freedom. to be free from pain, free from poverty, free to experience the world without limitations.i feel very blessed for how my life has turned out. all those late nights as a kid staring at the ceiling praying for a chance at a better life. we got through it mannnn.i’ve been traveling for about six months now, and along the way i’ve had the chance to hear so many stories from people with completely different backgrounds.no matter where life takes me, one thing stays the same. in every corner of the world, we all have hopes, dreams, pains, and something we’re praying for.this birthday my cup feels full but right now more than anything, i’m praying that soon i’ll be able to pour into others the way God has poured into me. because a life that cannot be poured out will never know why it was filled. what we keep may fill us, but what we give is what will make us whole. love yall, & from the bottom of my heart, thank you for always believing.p.s. i finally cut my hair✌🏼 by @nomanskii

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2 months ago

So I guess this is farewell to LA for now 😅 Off to go live our best international life soon.. This journey isn’t just about living out a childhood dream but also a love letter to my wife. A vow of the world, a promise to be kept. As the years begin to fold into one another, you start to grasp the reality that you’ve been entrusted with another’s life experience & that is a responsibility one shouldn’t take lightly. How lucky am I that this beautiful person confided in me, inviting me to share in curating the pages of her life.I pray that when our last page turns.. that we’re both satisfied with the lines we’ve written.. & may those lines merge into chapters.. & those chapters stack into stories so boundless that they may continue to carry meaning when we’re no longer here to tell them. Templates were never meant to be blueprints that we live inside, but doors to walk through. Nothing kills free will quicker than mistaking patterns meant to guide for prisons built to bind. May our time be a reminder that freedom is found in turning our boundaries into breakthroughs.But even if we’re not destined to accomplish anything remarkable, even if the energy we pour into this world is forgotten generations from now.. at the very least, may we unearth every ounce of beauty life has left to offer us, together. To live each day with you filled with moments worth capturing.. that, to me, is a life worth living. So get the cameras ready my love @bianca.ires We’re going on a really long date ! & to our dreams, we return once more.Até mais! 📸✌🏼 by @nomanskii

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8 months ago

22 years… Im sure every immigrant kid that ever goes back to the homeland inevitably asks themselves the same question. What would life have been like if had I grown up here. It’s difficult to imagine another version of ourselves but also realizing that the other version was just a few choices away from being reality. That realization brings you such a profound sense of clarity. Yet with this particular blessing often comes the quiet pressure of becoming. Subconsciously, I think I’ve always mourned the time lost that I’ll never get back with family. I’ve grown up with a silence in my heart, & the only way I’ve ever known how to cope with it all was to dream larger than the weight of everything you’ve lost.A void that I’ve lived with felt whole again for a bit going back to the homeland.. but now being back home that wholeness seems to be slipping away.. & my way of coping continues. It feels bittersweet at times.. but it was the life that I was given. May your dreams be worth the sacrifice.. & may we continue to find our way back again sooner than later🤞🏼 by @nomanskii

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2 years ago

I’ve been struggling to put into words how I feel this birthday 🎂 The best way to describe it is.. the final page of a cherished book. That beautiful moment when you realize it transformed your life, intertwined with the bittersweet ache of knowing it can never be relived. Words will never be enough.. but thank you for everyone that played a part in this story. What might feel like an end to you.. may this just be the beginning 🤞🏼✨ by @nomanskii

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2 years ago

Went to the Grammys for this first time and there was just something really beautiful about the weekend that I wanted to share. A lot fades with time but there are certain feelings attached to phases of our lives that seem to stick with us. Ahhh a 21 year old Vanski. The lost timid lonely kid that was so in love with what the world had to offer but seemed as if all the world wanted to do was bring us down. Despite having every reason to give it up, we decided to ignorantly dream it up as big as we could possibly imagine. Kanye told me “Shoot for the stars, so if you fall you land on a cloud.” Steve Jobs told me “whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, you know you need to change something.” & Tracy Chapman was the reason I quit school cuz someone’s gotta take care of him & that’s what I did. And now there I was at the 66th Grammy watching Tracy performing Fast Car. It really gets to me at times. When I look around and see how much beauty has blossomed into my life and those around me. It’s still difficult for me at times to fathom how we created this life from a life of no guidance, no home, & so much love lost.. after everything we’ve seen, how can you not believe that all is possible.To know that I was one misstep away from missing out on all of this… that’s what scares me shitless but also fuels my desire for more. I have a lot of gratitude in my heart that I’m still trying to understand how to convey. The “thank you’s”could never be enough. I got so much love for my brothers, for everyone I’ve had the pleasure of crossing paths with, for anyone that just gave me the space & time to figure my life out. Life can truly be a beautiful thing if you let it be.Much love, Vanski 🤞🏼✨Grammy Weekend Shot On Film 🎞️ 📸 by @nomanskii

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2 years ago

Just finished up a two month tour run, Since I Have A Lover Tour✨ Grateful for all the love & for everyone that showed up every night. @6lack and I wanted to do something special for the people that came out to the shows. The first batch of PHOTO PRINTS ARE NOW AVAILABLE (link in bio) until January 1st. Will also continue pushing out recaps within these next few weeks. Next year is gonna be the 10 year anniversary of when we all quit our jobs and decided to full send on this dream of ours. Best decision ever 😭 so many memories & photos that deserve to be engraved into reality (definitely been gatekeeping for a decade 😅) Working on a autobiographical photobook that I hope to get done by my birthday next year 🤞🏼✨ and for all those that have photo/video requests, if you could just comment below and will do my best to get to it within this next week. Hoping I’ll have more time to process how great this tour run was in the upcoming weeks but much love to everyone that made this one special 🙏🏼✨ until next time ! by @nomanskii

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3 years ago

A gentle reminder that there’s a genius inside of you. Life can be cruel. We get caught up in emotions and thoughts that don’t serve us. And if enough time passes, misery can turn into movies that run on repeat.Time can either kill you or heal you. Don’t let life decide for you. At what point did you stop believing in all those ideas that used to fill up the sky. When did you forget that your mind is invincible & that your heart is gold.I hope you discover so much passion for life that you no longer allow meaningless distractions to occupy your space.. that you shine so bright you blind all those that tried to dim your light.. because they could never see the life you’ve envisioned for yourself anyways. The world hurt you. So you put up walls to survive… but a barricade that was meant to protect you can eventually become your prison. Do not let fear steal your dreams. I pray one day you’ll finally let time heal you.. Because the genius within you deserves to not just live, but to live freely. by @nomanskii

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4 years ago

Life update: Trying to put into words the mixed emotions of having the best and worst moments of your life running concurrent of each other. It’s as if I’ve tried to write these paragraphs a hundred times over in my mind with no success. Spent two years putting my dreams on pause because of my health. Death became a common theme amongst my loved ones. I kept my struggles to myself.. eventually ending up on my knees pleading to God. Spent time mourning & kept coming back to the same conclusion. To be truly grateful for your life, I needed to truly be grateful for my own. How could I cry over a life when I’ve been so careless with mines. So I put the camera down, took some time to live in the moment. To feel the air, to appreciate those around me, their conversations, their laugh, just simply soaking in the spirit of life. What my friends didn’t realize was.. we weren’t just having fun, you all were helping me heal. & for that, I thank you.As my health improved, I realized I was meeting myself for the first time. My true self. A version of myself that wasn’t held back by a childhood filled with depression, insecurities & doubts. It’s as if I’ve almost broke even on my pain.. but as the summer ended, it became clear that my heart needed one last thing before it could finally bring balance to a past that brought us so much hurt.I don’t feel lost anymore, but still don’t feel like I’ve found where I belong. The person that you fell in love with was a person searching for peace. The person I’m becoming is a person searching for his greatness. Finding those two things will require two completely different versions of yourself. Lately I’ve been in the shadows, staying focused, intentional, obsessing over my work. But it doesn’t feel like work, it feels like destiny. The door to my dreams have swung wide open. My life has been changing before my eyes & it’s been the most liberating experience. I don’t know what this new version of myself looks like, but I’m excited to learn. A new chapter is unfolding & it feels as if this is the moment I’ve been preparing for my entire life. All I ask for is patience.. & from God, time. I know something beautiful is coming. by @nomanskii

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5 years ago

Been spending some days laughing & other days crying. Moving through these moments as if they could be our last together. Looking at life through a different lens will have you seeing a new beauty in it all. by @nomanskii

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5 years ago

Today marks my 1 year anniversary of no drugs, smoking, or hard liquor. Crossed paths with too many people that lost their purpose to this lifestyle. Gonna spare y’all of my usual long captions.. but just know for the first time in what feels like a lifetime, I finally feel the light again. Love y’all & make sure to take time out of your day to take care of ya mental health ✨ by @nomanskii

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6 years ago

A little late but been reflecting on this past decade. 10 years ago I was in high school. My HS counselor took me into her home because I had nowhere else to live. I think about that kid often. His hopes & dreams. His search for freedom.. its been a long journey.. a journey I honestly don’t take enough time to be grateful for. Spent the last 6 years living it up, trying to balance out a shitty childhood. There’s a lot of people I’ll forever be indebted to for allowing me the chance to see the world, to meet my favorite artists, & to experience life with friends that became family. Thank you for giving me these moments. For showing me a beauty in life beyond my imagination. No matter how dark your world may be or whatever disadvantages you were born into, you have the power to create whatever world you want for yourself. Take those leap of faiths so come next decade, you can be proud of the life you’ve built for yourself. I promise you it’s worth it. Van Nguyen believes in you🤞🏼✨ by @nomanskii

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7 years ago

The first two pictures are from 2014. Literally the first week of my journey of working in the music industry started off with joining Mac at his studio crib. I never posted this pic but he asked me to take this silly pic of him & his stuffed ET 😂 back then I didn’t talk much & I always regretted that. Fast forward to 2018, I ran into him again & had the blessing of giving him his roses while he was still here 😢 I don’t believe that a longer life is a better one, but more so a life focused around fulfillment & impact.. so I just wanted to say thank you for all your influence Mac ✨ by @nomanskii

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7 years ago