Instagram story viewer> @onyxlilli> Posts

༺Lilli Rσse

@onyxlilli

609

posts

2.9K

followers

1388

following

🥀 ཐི♡ཋྀ
equal parts poetic ruminator
𖤈 habitual line stepper

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Download All

ya girl already cried twice today (loving pricks from my own assertion of boundaries) , and I can say the last 2 weeks have been puuuushers !🥀 Everything is signaling me to commit to a new direction, and I'm teetering on a fearful edge of all that. so I'm studying the fears that have been circulating and breaking 'em down. little inner fear study help me dissemble it down to the nothingness that it is : a self-chosen clog in our otherwise artful existence.personally I'm trying to bio-hack mindsets around years of working my ass off + all fear constructs around money. I've been trying to assert my needs in my work environment which has upset the hell outta my comfort zone- but made me own a sense of self commitment. The thing is, I want to believe that the breakthrough happens via commitment to tricky changes- but it doesn't swing that way. Sometimes we choose to redesign a limiting area of our life and met with messy af resistance and failure. So I'm trying to push it further, and see what comes of committing to my failures better instead of backing away from what's intuitive. It means commiting more feverishly to any risks I only half committed to. I dont see it as misalignment when we are being brave with our deepest needs, but rather a potent (and painful) redirection towards what we are calling IN. basically my heart has been feeling like an overripe peach that's been kicked around the kitchen floor, but I'm still moving.I'm now asking :Am I willing to face fear, redesign complacency, and commit to letting the fiesty failures redirect me?I love leaning into any deep resoundingy e s . It reminds me that we are not sentenced to our reality - rather that life is the connectivity of our choices. Sometimes we need to assert a fresh level of creativity towards what we choose. sometimes we need to actively confront any part of us that isn't speaking to our wildish most fulfilled self. I'm committing to one fearful change at a time that feels suspiciously delicious from the inside out. discomfort is the soil which houses the shifting seed /maybe discomfort is just growth as an active sensation? what delicious discomfort are you meeting right now ma loves ? by @onyxlilli

359

16

6 years ago

a perfect year for Deepening Discernment—to embrace the the collision of multiple truths, never to be owned by any of them.🕊〰️♡ by @onyxlilli

965

23

6 years ago

𓌜🍃the doom is inevitably dense; but falling into moments of self curated joy and tenderness is just as potent. I'm seeing how the paradox of the world right now can ignite action / free me in different ways. It is a hard af balance to remain aware of the unjust and horrific plans rolling out on the global stage -- while refusing to have our energy wrapped in the fear programming. learning to remain open, without becoming numb, or falling into the ineptitude&apathy of "its all so much." In the earthy cyclic churning I can feel the quiet and constant rebalancing of all things, which applies to this dense timeline at all levels too. The pendulum always swings. Meanwhile im finding my knowing of "rapture" is never some scream of saviorship.It's not here here to control me like a puppet of the external world. raptures can be a sweet and sudden release to the unknown- or a pivot to ease when I am resensitizing myself to the slow miracles and natural cycles around me. Feeling out a healthy amount of detachment with the social plots of our world is necessary to go beyond survival and into deeper liberation. We need to peel the curtains back on agendas that only exist to strangle and suffocate, but use our energy to erect a world that doesnt reflect its poisonous reform.When i choose alt paths to rebalance from this thick dystopian doom we are feeling, I more easilly find the tender epicenter of my own moral coding swirling inside of me. one that is untouchable and always available to extend to others. I'm seeking more safe spaces. more grassroots community. more savoring i stead of guilting my joy. more natural rythms that remind me I am a small part of an unfolding. more looking at global atrocities face on and not letting myself go numb to what they mean. more full body reminders that humanity is still here. more cleansing the residues of propaganda from my spaces. more grounding inside rocks and flora and fauna. more sanctuaries where my feelings can felt and released. more hoping that we all can find the most sincere muses of true liberation and stay clear in our own moral compass/compassionate planes. by @onyxlilli

-1

14

10 months ago

༺🎱𓇻I've spent so much time with my body this year and have never felt such right relationship with her. somedays I feel like a weird living fabric. threaded happenings that make no sense on their own but build a draped entity; teeming with life and weathered by change..'I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” other times I feel that my body is just like any earth, or macrocosmic sphere. I envision the billions of processes happening in my organs, at a cellular + molecular level. The churning of ions, the rhythmic pulsing of blood, the clearing of organisms that would disrupt my inner equanimity. A body that builds a moment to moment symphony, undergoes emotional spiritual wars— all harmonizes so that I can exist as a whole + hopeful living thing. on this day my vessel was more of a magic 8 ball. I felt like a strange and mysterious void of playfullness to believe in.I savored silly questions, laughed up sea water and charged through the ocean waves like a little kid with my love. I love pulling answers from the void of unknowing. I remember that each shaky exchange of risk our inner guidance system weaves its answers within our most benevolent, painful and peaceful life chapters. To shake things up and honor new directives of potential is equal parts hard + holy. for now I'm out here documenting sensual moments in the field when my body's chosen adventures feel like a sandy feverdream. aiming to stay summer gyal minded forever𓇻 by @onyxlilli

-1

12

a year ago

༺𓉳༻evan finds the 3rd room..on a spicy lil VT stage mid june꧁⎝ @khruangbin ⎠꧂(oof i'm holding expansive live music real damn close to my heart these days) by @onyxlilli

-1

1

a year ago

💜💜💜a phlebotomist, a respiratory therapist, and a nurse walked into a bar... by @onyxlilli

67

2

2 years ago

sliding thru 2024 camp glimmers :𓄨𓄨clouds are a great mirror/reminder for shapeshifting when life feels stagnant - tapping into etheric voids and emulating the ability to transform ☁️ at whim is brain boosting n' heart ripening. 𓄨𓄨 Play with my my main squeeze IS purification, baby.𓄨 𓄨reminding myself that the feminine is a vast, fluid exchange of energy within and around myself- in watery sanctuaries I can best drop my armour; my heart is coherent and open and provides the potent moments to call in specific desires𓄨𓄨sun as paint, ferns as paintbrush- (sunworship as always)! 𓄨𓄨stayin'' in awe of all the anima, signs and synchronicities that ask me to slow down like little love letters. 𓄨𓄨 sometimes tornado watches are best warded off by an impromptu twerk sesh. 𓄨𓄨 when all else fails intricate midnight elote over the fire is a summery religion. 𓄨𓄨loons = great archetypes of staying light and diving into the deep treacherous basins whenever needed -how can I mimick this durability and pivot just as freely in my own emotional world?𓄨𓄨 any murky residual of capatalism is best rinsed free by waking in dappled tree light, sneaky nude morning swims & scrubbing from head to toe with wild mint𓄨𓄨when losing direct connection with our essence: find the nearest ferngully and get sweat bound with the natural world. staying close to the main muva 🍃 is to stay close all that is unified & true. siempre. by @onyxlilli

-1

5

2 years ago

universal gender bending RICK C-717-- foreva bouncing around infinite timelines🪐🛸🥒🔫 Wubaluba dubdub! cheers to @jace_faced and @dom_corleone for keeping the frands afloat this haaaallows🎈 by @onyxlilli

-1

4

3 years ago

grieving summer as usual so leaving a long august journal entry for good measure ✍️🏾📜🍃the way of Abundance is always construed as a shallow sense of 'getting what one wants', being 'free from pain' or eliminating the negative'. Even the conceptual aspects of 'manifesting our dreams' offers a psychological disposition that is rocky; generally fastened on the concepts that we exist here as ' self projects.' But that project can never feel resolved; as being a project to tweak over time means your worthinesss is reliant on the opinions of others or endpoint to master. It inevitably keeps us from greeting the true splitered pieces of our capacity that we have othered over time. It highlights shame when there is merely a need for tender revisitng. Ontological design as a life concept requires us to weave and belong to ourselves with a whole heart and without binary. The allowance of wholeness, in each tiny momentum of experience.I quietly crave the full contact with life, the surrender to what surrounds us, the non-seperation that relives our desperation, the chaotic freedom tied to our innocence, the completeness when we find full right relationship, the realness of fucking up in delightful ways. the radiance when we return to what we are inherently hunger for outside of our masked identities..there is deep intense relief in the yolking of our lessons and learning to hold the pings of our trauma in a tender way. And giving ourselves BIG, forgiving loops of time to do so. I see it as one long, tender homecoming to not only ourselves but the unified field that teaches us in all ways. In every step we are supported by the unseen...[trust it with me?] ❤️‍🔥 by @onyxlilli

-1

5

3 years ago

𓍊 ࿆𓆏 what if you'll always be deliciously held on the other side of patience?it helps me to feel guided by inner forces instead of tied to external circumstance. To assign that full body alignment. Then with persistence (truly being about it) with raw action, my external life shifts and can meet me at full tilt. This is the energetic playground I am willing to belong to. the last months have been patience in the stickiness of dicipline. patience in healing the residual guilt of ushering new boundaries. patience in seeking rest despite fomo. patience in how I protect when I am asked to Lead. patience in the edginess of the unknown..trusting that our truest visions can't be threatened. for the first time in ages, I feel ruthlessly sure of me when offering my full capacity. safe to make big declarations despite the timeline. I stay fortified by the honey that leaks from the long game because i am now 👏🏽 being👏🏽drenched. I believe that we all can rewire this ish. Alignment, patience, persistence, and prepping for your heart through liminal space. When you are sure-- the arrival will be. (((((loving reminders to let your desires desire you)))))) by @onyxlilli

332

6

3 years ago

thankful for @andievision and @schiddystudios as you continue to spoil us with the endless creative exploration of your love, and for bringing all our wild silly friends into wild spaces to celebrate your amazing bond ~ watching your love blossom has been so very sweet ! we adore you💖🌾💍 by @onyxlilli

-1

1

3 years ago

༄promise to remember you'll get lost in the abyss with the ones you love as a tonic for these times. some moments will linger in my bloodstream forever; little memoric poems for more melancholy days. here we are, heart drenched. guts laughed up and horizon length grins. Yes. let's drink up this sunset dumbfounded and kidlike as if it's the first time. Yes. the sky is a shapeshifting main muse while we scream at eachother how it keeps getting better❗️Yes❗️ Nature is an echo to the illusionary nature of time as we weave through the momentary bliss in all of this! all wãter sources are a form of emotional ambrosia. let's glide along the waters edge and claim any glimmers that keep us playful and so; untouchable..I'm right behind you.🛶❤️‍🔥🍄 ~ and yes--miss loon was a goddamn good paid actor 𓅰༄ by @onyxlilli

313

22

3 years ago