Tristin Yawn

This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend Forward conference. Words cannot express all the emotions I have felt the past 24 hours but I will try my best. To start off, God exceeded my expectations. Before coming on this trip, I had felt broken. I even got to the point where I would question if I would always feel this way. I have dealt with anxiety, fear, hopelessness, and feeling incapable of being loved. I’ve dealt with waves of sadness and mood swings that have affected not only my life but those closest to me as well. I have felt so so far from God. I would barely pray or read my bible and when I did pray I felt no emotion towards it whatsoever. My mind has been consumed by doubts and insecurity that made it hard for me to believe that I could ever change and have any positive outlook at all. People tried their hardest to help me see past those things but at the end of the day no one can heal you or love you the way that Jesus can. I came to Forward expecting healing and what I got has been so much more. Friday night, Pastor Jentezen Franklin spoke about how we are not meant to be left behind in our pain, lust, sexual immorality, anxiety, fear, depression etc. He spoke about how this woman named Miriam made a mistake and was banished from her camp for 7 days. However, her people would not move on without her. WE ARE NOT MEANT TO STAY STUCK IN OUR PAIN. Lately, I have found myself believing the absolute worst of myself, focusing on my mistakes, and the places I have fallen short. But I know we are not defined by our worst mistakes or the worst version of ourselves. While writing this, God reminded me of the story of Jesus healing the paralyzed man. In the story after the man had been healed he told him ,”Get up, take your mat and go home.” I know for myself and I know others can get to the point where they feel stuck in their sins, past, and the pain overtaking their life. But if I Have learned one thing from this whole conference it’s that Jesus wants you and me to get up and walk away from your pain. He leaves the 99 to find you. Jesus is our healer, redeemer, and our faithful savior. If he can heal me, he can heal you too.