gorika

14,032 

the last shred i have of you 
is the pain you’ve left me with
let me tell you that

the scandalous amount of thoughts 
that occur in my brain thinking of an
easy way back to you has become 
exhausting now

the last layer of my soul
keep recalling sylvia plath in a loop
that once, if i could just think less,
i could save so much of you &
so much, me

fourteen thousand thirty two 
words are stuck on my back right now, 
and even if you were to twist them, 
you wouldn’t find the trace of me 

been sleeping in so that way 
maybe we could meet, some place,  
our thoughts could align, just for a moment
l obsess with the tender bruises of our
conversations over and over again 

it’s getting worse, loving and breathing 
all i know is the space in my brain is 
full of you but never sure if it’s 
one step forward or 3 steps back

been performing to believe in believing
there’s a special way in which i drown 
myself, you’d know since no one has ever
known me like you have or hurt 

stuck stuck stuck, towards the ending
yet again, could you clearly show a face
i can understand?

maybe?
send me the poem of our story, i’d 
know it, for one thing i can understand 
clearly is complicated things. 

-g