MAL

Turns out befriending the loud girl at your internship going on about watermelon gazpacho will turn into a dear friendship where you are complete shithead roommates in New York, and discuss your latest GI supplement regimens on the regular. You’ll also find a fiercely loyal friend that you’ll mother bear from Brooklyn to upper Manhattan on the 4th of July after a panic attack, threaten to fight the shitty guy in her life with a patchy “beard”, and then eventually stand in your wedding. She’ll then break your heart by fleeing the country for a MAN and go have fabulous adventures in New Zealand as a result. *Results may vary in your personal life.*

Chloe, you are one of my dearest pals, and I’m simultaneously over the moon excited for your next chapter, and wanting to bonk you on the head for leaving. I’ll be ready and waiting in Michigan with overpriced margs and white people fusion tacos for our inevitable, eventual, yap sesh.