Maribel Adali

as they said, “it’s an endless loop”, but to me, it’s the loop of feeling everything so very deeply and not feeling anything at all.. it’s knowing exactly what i am and forgetting all at once, my own end and identity. i spend most of my nights asking questions to myself, such as “who even i”, “who even am i”, and i am sick of not knowing the answer everytime and putting myself to sleep at 3. the tiny little details of what make me “me” can be miniscule, yet enormous. my favourite song is “dancin in the dark” by home atlantic, and while hearing it is the only time when i can answer the questions i ask myself about me. i don’t use uppercase while writing at all, my texts start and end with lowercases. I am addicted to music, not a minute i can survive without it. oh, 02:05. ask me about yet; but deep down i know black. i just don’t want people to put me in it. has become very common. i’m a girl of all men. but self-love, love doesn’t give me by. i do like the sun, but i die for the moon. i love the sun, but i die for the moon. “bet we touch the sun, my venus, and when i’m out of heart i’m the MOON” i want to kill my past and everywhere so very much so as if i’m the god. i AM THE MOON. i want to learn immortality. i want to kill a few people. i want someone to love me and bring me back to life. i cry all my tears while reading memoir novels, or while watching even horror sad scenes or rich too hurting by soldiers coming back to their families, or little girls missing their dad. but it doesn’t bother me anymore. one day, i wanna be famous, maybe buy a dog and then i wanna disappear in a blink. i want to be powerful enough just like zeus, but i wanna be a innocent girl just like selena. you see? i don’t belong to i person here, i am everything and all at once, and nothing and none at the eften. i need exactly what i am, and exactly nothing about what i am