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Maribel Adali

@vivalagroovy

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October 9, 2025. A date that will forever hurt my heart. 💔
Today marks one whole year since the last time I saw my daughter Heavenly, heard her voice, and spoke to my baby girl. One year since I last got to experience those moments with her that I never imagined would become memories I would have to survive on. I never knew that day would be the last time I would hear her, see her, or talk to her for so long. If I had known, I would have held her tighter, kissed her longer, looked into her eyes a little longer, and memorized every little detail about her. I would have given anything to freeze that moment in time. But life doesn’t warn you before it takes away the things your heart needs the most. Nobody truly understands what it feels like to be a mother living without her child. It’s a pain that follows me everywhere. I wake up with it, I carry it throughout my day, and I go to sleep with it sitting heavy on my chest. There are days when I can smile, laugh, go to work, and act like I’m doing okay, but deep down, there is a part of me that feels completely empty. I can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. I can be moving forward with my life and still feel like a huge piece of me is missing. Because no matter how much I try to rebuild myself, there is one thing I cannot fix with hard work, time, or tears: the fact that I cannot hold my own daughter in my arms. Heavenly, mommy misses you more than you will ever understand. I miss your little face, your voice, your hugs, your smile, and all the little things about you that other people might take for granted. I miss being your mommy in the everyday ways that matter. I miss the moments I should have been there for. I miss the memories we should have been making together. I think about all the days that have passed without me being able to see you grow, hear about your life, or tell you how much I love you. And the hardest part is knowing that time keeps moving forward whether my heart is ready or not. You are growing up, and I am missing moments with you that I can never get back. You are growing up, Heavenly, and I am missing moments with you that I can never get back. Missing you forever heavenly 🥺🩷😭 by @vivalagroovy

#woollybully by @vivalagroovy

FIND YOUR FREEDOM IN THE MUSIC 🎶 #oldsoul #lagroovy by @vivalagroovy

Happy 5th Birthday to my beautiful baby girl, my Strawberry, Heavenly. 🍓🎂💗
Today you turn FIVE, and I hope you’re having the most wonderful birthday and enjoying your special day. Even though life looks different now and I’m not there to celebrate with you the way I wish I could, please know that Mommy is thinking about you every single second.
I miss you more than words could ever explain. Life without you has never been the same. I’ll always celebrate you, love you, and carry you in my heart. I pray that one day I’ll get to see you, hold you, and tell you just how much Mommy loves and misses you.
Happy Birthday, my sweet baby girl. 🎀🎂🍓
Mommy loves you more than you’ll ever know. ❤️
Happy 5th Birthday, Heavenly. 💕
Love always, Mommy. 🥺❤️ by @vivalagroovy

Hop on the soul train 🚂 #oldsoul #lagroovy by @vivalagroovy

Muñequita 💘 by @vivalagroovy

Today is Mother’s Day, and while the world is celebrating, my heart is hurting because I don’t get to spend this day with my daughter, Heavenly. It has been eight long months since I’ve seen your face, heard your voice, or held you in my arms, and not a single day passes without me thinking about you. No matter the distance between us, I am still so proud to be your mother. That will never change. You are the greatest part of my life, the purest love I have ever known, and the piece of my heart that will always belong to you. My sweet girl, I hope you are smiling today. I hope you feel loved, safe, protected, and cared for. I hope your foster family gives you warmth and kindness today, because you deserve every beautiful thing this world can offer. But I also hope that somehow, deep inside your heart, you still feel your mommy loving you from afar. Because I have never stopped loving you. Not for one second. There are nights I stay awake wondering if you remember my voice, my hugs, or the way I loved you. I wonder if one day you’ll understand how much I’ve missed you every single day we’ve been apart. The pain of not being able to see you is something words could never fully explain. A mother’s heart never stops reaching for her child. No matter how much time passes, I will continue waiting and hoping for the day you come back into my life. And when that day comes, I want you to know that there was never a moment your mommy stopped loving you, praying for you, or carrying you in her heart.
Happy Mother’s Day to the little girl who made me a mother.
I love you endlessly, Heavenly.
Always and forever,
Your mommy ❤️ by @vivalagroovy

as they said, “it’s an endless loop”, but to me, it’s the loop of feeling everything so very deeply and not feeling anything at all.. it’s knowing exactly what i am and forgetting all at once, my own end and identity. i spend most of my nights asking questions to myself, such as “who even i”, “who even am i”, and i am sick of not knowing the answer everytime and putting myself to sleep at 3. the tiny little details of what make me “me” can be miniscule, yet enormous. my favourite song is “dancin in the dark” by home atlantic, and while hearing it is the only time when i can answer the questions i ask myself about me. i don’t use uppercase while writing at all, my texts start and end with lowercases. I am addicted to music, not a minute i can survive without it. oh, 02:05. ask me about yet; but deep down i know black. i just don’t want people to put me in it. has become very common. i’m a girl of all men. but self-love, love doesn’t give me by. i do like the sun, but i die for the moon. i love the sun, but i die for the moon. “bet we touch the sun, my venus, and when i’m out of heart i’m the MOON” i want to kill my past and everywhere so very much so as if i’m the god. i AM THE MOON. i want to learn immortality. i want to kill a few people. i want someone to love me and bring me back to life. i cry all my tears while reading memoir novels, or while watching even horror sad scenes or rich too hurting by soldiers coming back to their families, or little girls missing their dad. but it doesn’t bother me anymore. one day, i wanna be famous, maybe buy a dog and then i wanna disappear in a blink. i want to be powerful enough just like zeus, but i wanna be a innocent girl just like selena. you see? i don’t belong to i person here, i am everything and all at once, and nothing and none at the eften. i need exactly what i am, and exactly nothing about what i am by @vivalagroovy

I don’t want my life to be a perpetual loop of trying to recover from something after something and someone after someone. I don’t want recovery to be all that I am. ❤️‍🩹 by @vivalagroovy

Act Like The Universe Is Obsessed With Making You Happy 🌎🌌🧿 by @vivalagroovy

Today the loneliness sits deep in my chest.
It’s the kind of quiet that makes my thoughts wander straight to my baby girl, Heavenly. I find myself wondering how you’re doing, if you’re okay, if you feel loved, and if you know how much you are always on my heart.
I miss you in the smallest and biggest ways all at once.
I miss your presence, your energy, the way your little soul made everything feel complete. Being your mom is not something I stopped being it’s something I carry with me every single day, even when you’re not beside me.
Some moments feel heavier than others because there’s a part of me that belongs only to you.
No amount of time or distance can change that. My love for you hasn’t faded it’s grown deeper, more intentional, more full of longing and hope.
I adore you more than words can express, my beautiful girl. You are always with me, in my thoughts, my heart, and everything I’m becoming. I miss you endlessly, Heavenly, and I love you more than you will ever know. 🩷💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟 by @vivalagroovy

“I am choosing myself mind, body, and spirit with awareness and truth. I am choosing peace, not as an escape, but as a way of living in alignment with who I am becoming. I am choosing meditation and stillness so I can hear my inner wisdom, quiet the noise of the world, and reconnect with my higher self. I am choosing knowledge and understanding, knowing that wisdom comes not just from learning, but from experience, reflection, and humility.
I am choosing love the kind that begins within me and radiates outward. I am choosing healing, even when it is uncomfortable, even when it asks me to slow down, let go, and face myself honestly. I am honoring my health in every form: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. I accept myself fully, without judgment, without rushing the process, trusting that everything unfolds in divine timing.
I release the need to prove my worth or carry what was never mine to hold. I am learning to move with intention, clarity, and grace. I trust my intuition. I respect my energy. I protect my peace. This is a season of awakening, balance, and self respect. I am aligning with wisdom, walking in truth, and choosing a life rooted in healing, love, and inner peace. I choose wholeness. I choose awareness. I choose me.” 🙏🏻👁️🫀🧠🦚🪶🎋🪨🪷🌞🌚☁️🌊💨🔥🫖🏔️🕯️📿🧿🪬🧬🧡💛💚💙🤎 by @vivalagroovy