Decolonizing Love

The Kikuyu people of Kenya were colonized by the British from 1895 to 1963—a period spanning 68 years. My mother was born at the tail end of colonial rule, and I was fortunate enough to have some conversations with my grandparents about Kikuyu customs before colonization. Thankfully, about a quarter of Kenyans today still maintain elements of indigenous ways of life.

Even in 2025, our culture continues to carry the weight of colonial legacies, alongside the ongoing impacts of neo-colonialism. My decolonizing journey has been deeply rooted in trying to understand our past—how we lived, how our ways were altered, and why those changes were imposed. I’m constantly learning new things about our traditions, and I feel grateful to be able to ask my mum—who grew up in rural Kenya, where Kikuyu culture is still deeply held—about our indigenous approaches to relationships and community.

This particular conversation was sparked when she mentioned that, during polygamous times, people didn’t experience jealousy over a spouse being with others. That insight opened up a whole reflection on what we’ve lost, what we’ve internalized, and what we might still reclaim.

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