Roxanne Gabriella Botman

We’ve been sold a particular story about growth.

That it requires pressure. That the inner critic is useful. That if you’re kind to yourself, you’ll go soft.

I’ve watched this play out in coaching sessions many times. Someone achieves something significant, a promotion, a project, a transition they’ve been working towards for months, and before they’ve drawn breath, they’re already cataloguing what wasn’t good enough.

The growth is real. But it doesn’t land. Because the foundation it’s built on is criticism, not care.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand: sustainable growth depends on the quality of your self-regard. Not as a nice-to-have. As the actual substrate.

You can pressure yourself into short-term performance. But you can’t pressure yourself into becoming.

The professionals I work with who make the most lasting change are the ones who learn to take action from a place of self-respect, who commit to their growth because they believe they deserve it, not because they’re afraid of what happens if they don’t.

What would shift for you if you approached your next goal from that place?

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