Abdullahi

🎈// Where do I put it? I’m 31 today, and it has only gotten bigger. They said it would dim as I grew. They said I need a backup plan because the world will strip me of it. They said childish dreams fade through adulthood.

So I ask you again, where do I put it? It would splinter and break the wooden shelf where all my education sits. It would come bursting out the seams of the luggage that carries my history. It could not be contained in all the places I called home.

Am I the problem? Was there a step I missed along the way to adulthood? Did I walk out of childhood without following the proper exit protocols? Did I not empty my pockets correctly? Did I forget a little bit of my whimsy in my lunchbox?

If that’s the case, then show me where to return it. I’ll fill out the forms. I’ll pay the late fees, and I’ll drown whatever childish essence remains in order to comply.

But there is one condition. Just one. If met, I am willing to eviscerate this thing inside of me and hollow out my insides for the rest of my time here:
Find me an adult who smiles like a child. Sit them down in front of me and let them tell me that it took conforming to keep it alive.
Find me an adult that still has a twinkle in their eye. Sit them down in front of me and let them tell me that it took giving up on themselves to keep it alive.
Find me an adult with an unbreakable will. Sit them down in front of me and let them tell me that it took surrendering to gain it.

And if you can’t, then I implore you… please. For my own sanity.

Live authentically. Chase your dreams. Resist. Find your true purpose. Overcome fear. Hold fast to your beliefs.

I swear you shine different when you’re on your path. And I need your light. I need it more than you could ever know.